Please Pray - drifting into despair

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losttheway

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I am embarrassed to write this because I see so many prayer requests for the very sick, dreadfully unemployed, so many suffering souls, and God gives me so much, yet my problem is so horribly wretched and I know that I need many prayers. I have started to drift into depression and despair because of an addition to pornography. I truly want to stop, but I have failed again after many many attempts. It has been such a long hard struggle with very few successes.

In the past I have been able to pull myself up from the depression that follows with prayers and mortification. I have found comfort in Divine Mercy, in devotion to our Blessed Mother, Confession, Adoration, Communion, powerful sacramentals, prayers, novenas for intercession from kindred saints - but I have never been able to break free of this sin and lately I have been plagued with spiritual dryness and a great difficulty praying. I am hurting and I don’t know what to do next. I don’t feel that God has abandoned me, but I can’t feel his Spirit.

I can only hope that this trial is God’s way of ending this burden - that somehow turning to others here can help me and that recovering from this will make me stronger and I can overcome once and for all, but the road seems very dark.

Please pray. I have hope that God’s will is my conversion. I will try to pray for all that need it as well.
 
I ask God that your Angel will direct you to practical ways of overcoming the addiction. It’s not enough just to pray and hope. It is necessary also to repeatedly take practical human means to overcome habits of wrongful stimulation to the brain. To seek the occasion of sin is a habit to be overcome by prayer and grace, but also by determined and sensible action…if possible, also in going outward from self to more involvement in kindness to others.
Whatever the balance you need to attain, it involves both God, and the God-given gifts of your own creativity and good sense, so I ask God to help you toward these things.

Feeling God’s presence is actually an emotional thing. It neither means God is close or God is distant… The only reliable indication of God’s nearness and presence is God’s own word that you are loved and in God’s presence, and the indication of God’s grace is also not proved by our response to grace. God’s grace is there whether we accept it or not, and is only evident if we do respond to it wholeheartedly and authentically. May God grant that in your hope and pain, you will, dear Soul.

May God truly help you in all this. God’s kind blessings to you.
 
Dear Lord,

please help op to find the strength and will to say no to the sin of lust. If he’s 25 or younger, please help him minimize it as much as possible since it’s normal for someone that age range to fall for that sin.
 
No prayer request is insignificant. Your struggles are obviously bothering you and you shouldn’t hesitate to ask for prayers.

You’ll definitely be in my prayers this evening.
 
St. Michael, the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou, oh prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, cast into Hell satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.
 
Dear Father, losttheway needs your help and encouragement, grant help him to find your grace and lift him from his bouts of despair. An Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be and a Fatima Prayer for his intentions. Amen.
 
By the very fact that you feel that God has not abandoned you, you have hope and that’s a good thing. Continue to pray. If you can, try to attend mass during the week. In my city, there are masses at 12:10 pm. Many of those who attend daily mass, work in the vicinity and attend on their lunch hour. The mass lasts usually 1/2 an hour or so. If you are unable to do that, try to find some time during the day to focus on prayer or perhaps say a decade of the rosary, praying not only for yourself but for others as well. If you don’t have the rosary on hand, use your fingers. I assume you have ten of them, visualize that they are beads of the rosary. Let your fingers remind you that you will no longer use them for either turning the pages of pornography or the key pad on the internet.
You are in my prayers.
 
St. Augustine, Pray for us.

I will pray fervantly as this addiction has hurt our family as well. It is powerful, and you should never apologize for asking for prayers. Remember God is MORE powerful than the devil and the addiction. . . .

Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. . . .

Glory Be to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit . . .

HisMercy2011
 
Hi, (sorry this is so long, but I hope it helps)
I’m littleflower and I just wanted to let you know I will be here if you ever need me. Feel free to e-mail me at littleflower_24_3@yahoo.com. I will check it frequently for you, and know you are in my prayers. I know how dangerous this road can be, having been down a similar one dealing with depression a few years back. However, every person’s struggle is different. I want to let you know you are not alone in this, and thank you for coming here when you did. I do not have all the answers, but I will help to the best of my ability.

I know it is very hard in these times to see that God is there at all, especially in this desert. But you are wonderfully made. (By the way, are you a guy or girl, because that will help us in helping you too). You know this in watching porn, which is why it is so hard to break away from. Because the human body is so handsome and beautiful, and God placed all of these good feelings with it. However, the sin, as you know, is grave because it defiles the human person. But why? Because they are naked? No, in Genesis nakedness was not shameful. No, it is because of our feelings of lust for them. But what is Lust anyway? Lust is “disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally wrong when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.” CCC 2351. So its wrong when we use it not in marriage (procreative/unitive), as a means to an end (to stop your temptations/desires; giving in), and being sought for itself in these ways. This is not to say the temptations you get are not there or wrong. I say wrong in the sense that, it is natural to have these desires, God even placed them in you. Trying to ignore them or bottle them up won’t get rid of it. Instead, if you can recognize that you have the temptation to go to your computer, or however you look at that, run from it to God. You can do this by prayer, but also by focusing your body in another direction-in exercise and in socializing with others. This will take your focus off of the temptation, and also burn off some energy that can be motivating your body to become aroused. However, bringing yourself away can be very difficult, and this is where you will probably struggle most. If you can, imagine someone or something pulling you out into the living room, gym, or just a public place. Run to God out of these occasions of sin, and make ways to avoid them/get away from them.

When Jesus was tempted in the desert, he addressed what was going on, quoting passages of how He won’t give in. You also see this struggle in the agony of the garden. God sweat blood because He was going to die, and no doubt this was a huge temptation for Him! He could have given in, but for our sake did not. Instead, He looked to His Father even with temptation all around, and asked His friends to keep close and pray. Look also to Mary, followed God’s plan even though He was to let Himself, Her son, be killed. In a strong way, you will have to die to yourself, to your passions. But God knows how hard it is-He was human too. Even though Jesus and Mary did not experience concupiscence, where we tempt ourselves, (in having an incline toward it, being drawn in-which you really experience in addiction) they were so tempted from the outside. But also, Jesus knows every human heart, and so knows what concupiscence is like for us. He let himself in every moment of his agony, choose this death for our salvation. This was not only so we can have grace restored, but so we have a model in looking how to get it back. We must die to these passions, choosing God instead of temptation, but for the Love of Him. If we do this simply because it’s bad, it won’t hold nearly as well. As long as you strive for God, for His Love, you gain grace to strive for Him in all things. Mortal sin is of coarse, the loss of God’s grace, his life within us, but he leads us to confession and to himself in grace because grace is Him and it is Love and in this Love he seeks you that you may come to Him, and supports you in grace, in love, toward confession, toward Him.
 
Know that God doesn’t think you are in any way stupid for falling into this again. He just wants to help you. I once had it explained to me like when a parent sees their child covered in mud. They don’t hate the child; they hate the mud and want to get them clean. They don’t even see just the mud when looking at the child, they see the child itself. So as God’s child he sees you. Also, in the bible, look at how willing he is to help people in this nature of sin. Isn’t there a reason? God knows how hard it is for us to overcome our flesh in these passions and temptations. With the Samaritan who was at the well and was sleeping with multiple men who were not her husband, He didn’t even go about explaining how it was wrong. He knew she knew, as I’m sure you know. Rather, he talked about the everlasting water of Life! Life, isn’t it so amazing? See how good the body is that God created for you! Your eyes, ears, stomach, hands and brain, are so intricately made by God. Yet God made this only as a precursor to heaven.

Even looking at sex, look-it is the manifestation of God coming to His bride, the Church. It also represents the trinity, that two come together and so form another, a child. I know it also helps me to think of my future spouse, whether it is to the Church/God or a Woman/Man. Out of love for them, please stop, because they want to love you too. This is Chastity, to refrain from sex/sexual pleasure in porn, etc. out of respect for the other. Almost like a fear of God for the other person. We form this in Love for God and each other (spouse, parents, people in general). This love leads us to life, and so to heaven, loving God forever. So he forgave the woman at the well speedily because of her want, her desire for the heavenly, everlasting water or Grace.

Please, do not be so hard on yourself. The devil is only telling you lies when you encounter thoughts that you aren’t good enough or holy enough, that you are nothing. No, you are God’s. You are His heart, His temple, His mouth, His body, everything as you join to Christ. Even in mortal sin, your very essence tells of God’s goodness in your very body soul and mind He created. Do not get down on yourself. Do you think you will still be doing this when you are 100? No? What about 50? No? 40? 30? Know that this hard time WILL come to an end. You are doing so good in trying to stop, please don’t stop trying again and again. God will always take you back. When you meet your future spouse and tell them about this one day, they won’t look at you as evil, but rather will be so glad you stopped. Look at the good you are doing in prayer, in the closeness you have with God. No doubt you are having a hard time because the devil wishes to distract you from the good you are doing.

Also, if you are a student, in your studies you are working hard, and if you have a job, you are working hard. Don’t let this overwhelm you, or be the cause of your stress. When you are stressed or depressed, take a deep breath and maybe put on some good music for a while, and just drift away to a place to distress for a while. Then come back, since you will be better at your school work/work. At work this can be hard, but if you can take a minute break and listen to the first part of a song, or bring one to mind in work, or think of happy future plans-this can help. Also, to help break your addiction, you may do something else you enjoy and it may help to place a picture of the holy family or Jesus there. I know this also can affect me when I am sleepy or bored. Be careful in these situations, and try to do something to wake you up, and pray to help fight these temptations. A scapular may also be helpful, or a wristband, or something to remind you of your commitment to God. Please take care of yourself, and I eagerly await your reply,

Littleflower
 
losttheway said:
I am embarrassed to write this because I see so many prayer requests for the very sick, dreadfully unemployed, so many suffering souls, and God gives me so much, yet my problem is so horribly wretched and I know that I need many prayers. I have started to drift into depression and despair because of an addition to pornography. I truly want to stop, but I have failed again after many many attempts. It has been such a long hard struggle with very few successes.

In the past I have been able to pull myself up from the depression that follows with prayers and mortification. I have found comfort in Divine Mercy, in devotion to our Blessed Mother, Confession, Adoration, Communion, powerful sacramentals, prayers, novenas for intercession from kindred saints - but I have never been able to break free of this sin and lately I have been plagued with spiritual dryness and a great difficulty praying. I am hurting and I don’t know what to do next. I don’t feel that God has abandoned me, but I can’t feel his Spirit.

I can only hope that this trial is God’s way of ending this burden - that somehow turning to others here can help me and that recovering from this will make me stronger and I can overcome once and for all, but the road seems very dark.

Please pray. I have hope that God’s will is my conversion. I will try to pray for all that need it as well.
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Do the best you can. Have you talked with a couselor about this? Counselors in the CC can help you with this problem. The sins of addiction are many and varied. God knows your torment and has not abandoned you. Like Job’s sores that the devil had afflicted him with is the pain that your addiction brings.
Get away from your computer when tempted to look at porn. [besides that, I do believe porn sites set viruses loose on your computer and destroy your computers ability to work!]That being said I will pray to St. Jude for you.
PRAYER TO ST. JUDE # 2
(To be said when problems arise or when one seems to be deprived of all visible help, or for cases almost despaired of.)
Most holy apostle, St. Jude,
faithful servant and friend of Jesus,
the Church honors and invokes you universally,
as the patron of hopeless cases,
of things almost despaired of.
Pray for me,
I am so helpless and alone.
Make use I implore you,
to bring visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of.
Come to my assistance in this great need
that I may receive the consolation and help of heaven
in all my necessities,
tribulations, and sufferings, particularly -

(Here make your request)

and that I may praise God with you and all the elect forever.
I promise, O blessed St. Jude,
to be ever mindful of this great favor,
to always honor you as my special and powerful patron,
and to gratefully encourage devotion to you.

Amen.

(To encourage devotion to St. Jude, acknowledge in writing favors received.)
 
Thank you all so much for your prayers and guidance. I broke down crying this morning reading the wonderful things you wrote and realizing God’s love. I know this is going to be a tough journey - so please remember me in your prayers often if you will.

I sincerely thank God for each of you.
 
Thank you, we thank God for you as well and keep you in our prayers.
 
You are still in my prayers. May God give you the graces you need every day, and the openness to accept His graces. God’s kindest blessings to you.
 
sjmb said:
St. Michael, the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou, oh prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, cast into Hell satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.
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I add my amen and prayers. Also, a suggestion. Before hand decide what action you will take when the temptation presents itself, then do it. (ex. “I will turn off my computer”, “I will take a shower” “I will go for a run” “I will call a trusted friend” “I will pray the rosary” " I will drive to church and sit" etc. etc. whatever will help you)
mlz
 
No prayer request is trivial, in my opinion.

PATER NOSTER,
qui es in caelis,
sanctificetur nomen tuum.
Adveniat regnum tuum.
Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra.
Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie,
et dimitte nobis debita nostra
sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris.
Et ne nos inducas in tentationem,
sed libera nos a malo. Amen.
 
Thank you all so much for your continued prayers. It has been 10 days since I last wrote and during that time I have been tempted, but I have had great strength against the temptations. I have had no signs of despair or depression and there has been a renewal in my spiritual life.

I truly believe that God has granted me sufficient graces to handle this dark time thanks to your prayers and I thank Him for all of you wondeful people and pray that he will shower graces upon you as well. Please continue to pray for me as I know I will face more temptations as time goes by.
 
my dear,

Jesus met me recently in my deepest garbage. He visited all dark areas within myself, which I can only be ashamed of. Your now suffring might be blessed in future. Do not be Afraid.

Hail holy Queen, Mother of mercy, our life, our sweetness and our hope.
To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve.
To thee do we send up or sighs, mourning and weeping,
in this valley of tears.
Turn then, most gracious Advocate, thine eyes of mercy toward us.
And after this our exile show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
O clement, o loving, o sweet Virgin Mary. Amen.
Pray for us, o Holy Mother of God
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.
 
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