M
msmusic
Guest
I have a son who is slightly autisitic (asperger’s syndrome) and has adhd and a daughter with adhd. On top of that my husband suffers with boughts of depression. So, in our house we have good days and bad days.
Today, my son is having a bad day at school. He kicked a teacher. He’s only 6 years old, so he probably didn’t hurt the teacher very much. Who knows why he did it? It could be a slight change in medications. It could be that his schedule has changed a little because he went on a field trip yesterday. It could just be that the weather is changing and he’s feeling antsy because school is almost out for the summer. But I received a call about half an hour ago from the principal telling me about the incident. I asked the principal to tell my son that there would be consequences at home. That means he’ll lose tv and probably video games for at least two days.
I called my husband to let him know about it. His response was very coldblooded. He suggested that it was time to send my son to a military academy nearby because that would be the only way to keep my son from growing up to be a serial killer. Now–this incident was very out of the ordinary for my son. Normally he loves school and is a good boy. I could understand my husband being a little ticked off at my son, but the idea of sending my son to a military academy is just about the most atrocious thing I’ve ever heard. He’s six years old for goodness sake. He doesn’t normally get violent or even agitated and he doesn’t generally try to hurt people.
For the past couple of years, I’ve been dragging my son to specialists trying to figure out what the problem is. I’ve been sitting in on meetings at school trying to make sure that he gets the kind of accomodations he needs. All in all, it’s been a very good school year. But in all of this, my husband has almost never accompanied me. He went to a psychologist with me once and didn’t go again the next 10 times. He’s never met my son’s pediatrician. He’s only been to one IEP meeting at school. He doesn’t communicate with my son’s teachers on a daily basis like I do. He hasn’t worried about what affect all of this (my kids and my husbands health problems) have had on me and my state of mind.
No. Instead he’s spent the past 6 years of my son’s life feeling sorry for himself and leaving me to forge a path for my kids in life. I’m so angry right now I could break something. At this moment, I really and truly hate my husband. There was one point a couple of years ago where I stopped being scared of being alone and swore that I would do whatever I needed to do for my kids even if it meant separating them from their father. But we’ve worked on our marriage and I really thought that things are better.
But this comment about sending my six-year old son away to live in a military academy just hurts so much. At the moment, I just feel mentally paralyzed. I generally try not to take action when I’m angry. I’m at work and I want to go home and be with my kids. But really, the last place I want to be is home because he’ll be there and I just can’t explain to you how angry I am at the moment. I’ve tried so hard to be patient with everyone, including myself. I’ve made suggestions to my husband that have resulted in him going on antidepressants and getting help for his sleep apnia. I even went on Weight Watchers to encourage him to do it as well. He needs to lose about 100 pounds. In the time I’ve been on WW, he’s gained 20 pounds and I’ve lost 10.
I really don’t want to walk away from him. I’m not afraid of being alone and I’m not going to stay with him just for the kids. I truly believe that we got married for better or worse and that my kids need their father. I do love him very much. But right now, I’d like to toss him off a very tall building and just collect the insurance money.
I’m sorry if that sounds cold. But I feel very isolated and alone right now. I know that in reality, I’m not. That God is with me more in my depression than he is in my happiness and that there’s a reason why this is happening. I just wish I had some answers or at least had some peace.
Today, my son is having a bad day at school. He kicked a teacher. He’s only 6 years old, so he probably didn’t hurt the teacher very much. Who knows why he did it? It could be a slight change in medications. It could be that his schedule has changed a little because he went on a field trip yesterday. It could just be that the weather is changing and he’s feeling antsy because school is almost out for the summer. But I received a call about half an hour ago from the principal telling me about the incident. I asked the principal to tell my son that there would be consequences at home. That means he’ll lose tv and probably video games for at least two days.
I called my husband to let him know about it. His response was very coldblooded. He suggested that it was time to send my son to a military academy nearby because that would be the only way to keep my son from growing up to be a serial killer. Now–this incident was very out of the ordinary for my son. Normally he loves school and is a good boy. I could understand my husband being a little ticked off at my son, but the idea of sending my son to a military academy is just about the most atrocious thing I’ve ever heard. He’s six years old for goodness sake. He doesn’t normally get violent or even agitated and he doesn’t generally try to hurt people.
For the past couple of years, I’ve been dragging my son to specialists trying to figure out what the problem is. I’ve been sitting in on meetings at school trying to make sure that he gets the kind of accomodations he needs. All in all, it’s been a very good school year. But in all of this, my husband has almost never accompanied me. He went to a psychologist with me once and didn’t go again the next 10 times. He’s never met my son’s pediatrician. He’s only been to one IEP meeting at school. He doesn’t communicate with my son’s teachers on a daily basis like I do. He hasn’t worried about what affect all of this (my kids and my husbands health problems) have had on me and my state of mind.
No. Instead he’s spent the past 6 years of my son’s life feeling sorry for himself and leaving me to forge a path for my kids in life. I’m so angry right now I could break something. At this moment, I really and truly hate my husband. There was one point a couple of years ago where I stopped being scared of being alone and swore that I would do whatever I needed to do for my kids even if it meant separating them from their father. But we’ve worked on our marriage and I really thought that things are better.
But this comment about sending my six-year old son away to live in a military academy just hurts so much. At the moment, I just feel mentally paralyzed. I generally try not to take action when I’m angry. I’m at work and I want to go home and be with my kids. But really, the last place I want to be is home because he’ll be there and I just can’t explain to you how angry I am at the moment. I’ve tried so hard to be patient with everyone, including myself. I’ve made suggestions to my husband that have resulted in him going on antidepressants and getting help for his sleep apnia. I even went on Weight Watchers to encourage him to do it as well. He needs to lose about 100 pounds. In the time I’ve been on WW, he’s gained 20 pounds and I’ve lost 10.
I really don’t want to walk away from him. I’m not afraid of being alone and I’m not going to stay with him just for the kids. I truly believe that we got married for better or worse and that my kids need their father. I do love him very much. But right now, I’d like to toss him off a very tall building and just collect the insurance money.
I’m sorry if that sounds cold. But I feel very isolated and alone right now. I know that in reality, I’m not. That God is with me more in my depression than he is in my happiness and that there’s a reason why this is happening. I just wish I had some answers or at least had some peace.
