Please Pray for Me: Going Through Intense Spiritual Dryness (Advice Appreciated)

  • Thread starter Thread starter SanctusDeus
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

SanctusDeus

Guest
Hello. I’m 18 and have been going through this period of intense spiritual dryness for almost a month and a half now. I’ve been through spiritual dry spells before, but this is different. Every other time it’s happened, it passed in a week or even in after a day. But this has been ongoing. Sure, it’s worse some days than it is on others, but I still feel it even on the “good” days. This is much different than what I’ve been through before. The other times, prayer always helped. Now, I’m just left with this feeling of emptiness and longing. I feel like every time I try to get closer to God, He just gets further and further away. I almost feel like I’m losing my faith because this dryness has lead to me even wonder if God is there and listening to me. I know that God listens, but at the same time I don’t know if He is there. These doubts just keep piling up, making the whole situation worse. Whenever I do manage to pray, I feel like I’m just going through the motions. I’m even starting to wonder if I’ve ever truly prayed to God because of this. It’s making me question my whole relationship with God and everything I know to be true. It feels like God just isn’t there anymore. I know that faith isn’t a feeling, but that’s the best way I can think of it. I do the LoTH every day, as well as daily Mass when my schedule allows. I’ve prayed to God numerous times for help, but He hasn’t answered my prayers. I know that I’m probably thinking “as man does”, so to speak, but still. I feel like God has abandoned me, or that I’ve abandoned Him as I’m not quite sure which one it is yet. This is torture for me! It seems like every plea for help goes unanswered. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m going into the seminary in the fall, as well. It’s getting harder and harder to trust that this is all a part of God’s plan for me. Any advice is appreciated. I’ve tried everything I can think of, and am at my wits end. I don’t know what to do anymore! I know that it’s normal to have doubts, but I feel like I’m losing my faith. Any help is appreciated. Thank you.
 
The antidote is prayer. Sit in an adoration chapel and talk to God if you can’t say a rote prayer. He is there. Or sit quietly and listen. He is there. There are those who are meant to dwell in the spiritual desert such as John the Baptist, who appears in Eastern icons dressed in animal skins, who ate wild honey and locusts while in the wilderness. Seems he may have doubted that Jesus was the Messiah in Luke chapter 7. I hope that you can find a spiritual director that can help you out of your dryness. But I heard a wise priest say, prayer is the antidote.

Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, Have Mercy on us.
Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, Have Mercy on us
Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, Have Mercy on us
 
Wow. Far out… I’m not clear on what you’re expecting: a flash of lightning? Some personal revelation, like a dream where Jesus comes to you and tells you how terrific you are? If you read that recent book that draws on Mother Teresa’s confessor’s notes, you’ll see that she felt called (literally) by God at a young age. Then God didn’t talk to her again, and she felt abandoned–for the rest of her life. And yet by any standards she was a holy and successful woman. You know the old joke, right? If you talk to God, you’re holy; if God talks to you, you’re schizophrenic. I had an old friend who converted from Catholicism to Methodism. Why? “The Mass didn’t do anything for me. It didn’t make me feel good.” Funny, I don’t remember the part about going to Mass to make yourself feel good. I thought it was all about worshipping God, not making yourself feel good. Why are you so fixated on this? I guess that’s the question I would ask. Then I’d ask what you’re expecting, and if that’s a reasonable expectation.
 
It’s normal. You probably just have to accept it. God is there, listening. He is probably giving you a taste of what everyone else has to go through.

He doesn’t mollycoddle anyone. Maybe you got used to having some kind of pleasant feelings, consolations, and all that. Nothing happens now. It usually doesn’t since I have never heard of anyone in life living in a constant pleasant, consoling way with God as though He owes it to them.

No one at church has ever told me they “feel good” when they pray, or have a lot of enlightening moments. Sometimes they even feel bad because of something going on in their lives.

I used to think I should have visions and ecstatic happiness, too, but it did not happen. Instead I had to live in the gray, rainy days, and face the fact that I did not always feel like going to church. I went because it was an obligation. Reading about the saints actually having some feedback from God was hard because I never experienced it. Most of us ordinary people just don’t. He probably wants it that way.
 
Our sanctification does not depend on our feelings.

My thought is that you need to find a good spiritual director with the discernment to guide you.

In my own experience, and in studying St. John of the Cross, it is true that the Lord tests us this way. When we pray without feelings our faith is strengthened. Consolations are withdrawn in order to give you an opportunity to show that you still love and trust Him without the feelings.

Sometimes there are other reasons…and that is why a good spiritual director can help.

If you are so led, here is a site where Father Venard Poslusney, O.Carm.'s conference tapes are available in MP3 format. There is a short bio available about him at that site. The tapes were not professionally made so they end abruptly during the question and answer period, where it is hard to hear the questions as those people present are not using a microphone.

www.advancedchristianity.com

It comes from a parish on Long Island who have put up many of his tape conferences, along with other teachers and speakers with various gifts.

May our Lord Jesus Christ and his holy Mother Mary guide you on your spiritual journey!

Dorothy,…Third Order Lay Carmelite
 
Casilda said:
The antidote is prayer. Sit in an adoration chapel and talk to God if you can’t say a rote prayer. He is there. Or sit quietly and listen. He is there. There are those who are meant to dwell in the spiritual desert such as John the Baptist, who appears in Eastern icons dressed in animal skins, who ate wild honey and locusts while in the wilderness. Seems he may have doubted that Jesus was the Messiah in Luke chapter 7. I hope that you can find a spiritual director that can help you out of your dryness. But I heard a wise priest say, prayer is the antidote.

Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, Have Mercy on us.
Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, Have Mercy on us
Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, Have Mercy on us
Click to expand...
I agree with this advice, having experienced spiritual dryness before. Perhaps what made the situation worse was that I also had many problems in my academic and personal life as well. In those times, I turned to more prayer and fasting (abstaining from meat during Fridays and other penances I’d rather not mention), and I made sure I had friends to confide in. How thankful I am to God I had friends when I needed them 🙂 The Mass is also a great help; try going to daily mass if you can 😃
 
Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strength, fortitude & wisdom in your time of need.
 
“Which is exactly what John of the Cross is saying: learn to be at home in the darkness, do not run away from it, do not fight it or even try to understand it, embrace it -‘the night has eyes’. A new and different world is being born, what seem to be death pangs are in fact birth pangs, the soul in darkness is being renewed and transfigured; a new and [wonderful] beauty is born. Painful though it may be, there is in fact no other way except the way of trust and surrender, and ultimately of belief in the creative and transforming power of love. John’s invitation to accept ‘the dark ray of contemplation’ may not be easy, but there is no other way.”
-Eugene McCaffrey, OCD

There’s a time in our spiritual growth when we are not allowed any consolation, human or Divine. What you’re experiencing may be the beginning of a greater spirituality.

I would recommend reading some of The Imitation of Christ to see if it leads to any insight or motivation. In one chapter of the book the author makes the claim that it’s easy to love God when we are receiving His grace, but that the true test is maintaining one’s faith during trials.

leaderu.com/cyber/books/imitation/imitation.html
 
However we do mental prayer, we can be sure of encountering difficulties. Some have already been mentioned: dryness, distaste, a sense of our own worthlessness, the feeling the effort to pray is useless.

The first thing to say about such difficulties is that they should not come as a surprise or cause us to worry or be upset. Not only are they inevitable, they are actually good for us. They purify our love for God and strengthen our faith.

~ Fr. Jacques Philippe
  • Time for God, p.96
frjacquesphilippe.com/book-themes
 
I sense that you may be feeling fearful that has left you to die in a hot desert. I get this feeling a lot and I have to ask myself why God would lead me this far only to abandon me? Of course God has not abandoned me, but is bringing me up to a higher spiritually.

I get the feeling that God likes to play hide-and-seek with those He loves.
 
In re-reading your post, it reminded me of the times I helped my children learn to walk. Ar first, I would hold their hands as they toddled. Then I would let go for just a step or two, then three or four. Finally we would get to the point where i would hold my hands just beyong them and walk backwards as they walked.

Keep walking and reaching out for God through prayer and the sacraments as you have been doing. Walking all by yourself will feel unfamiliar and not like walking with Him holding your hands, so naturally you will have doubts. Just keep walking, and remember that we pray to God, not for consolations.
 
Sometimes God allows us to undergo periods of spiritual dryness so that we can learn something deeper about ourselves or the Mystery of His Grace. Read A Dark Night of the Soul by Saint John of the Cross or look into the story of Mother Angelica, founder of EWTN; she went through a period of this, too! Now, they are some of the holiest people of all time.

God is allowing this to occur to prepare you for a lifetime commitment to Him in the priesthood, just quiet yourself down, remember that Our Lord Jesus is always with you, and feel at peace.

Recite the Divine Mercy prayer, “Jesus, I trust in you!” whenever you feel down, and remember that Jesus said, “Behold I am with you always, until the end of the age.”

I will leave you with this quote I just saw from Saint Padre Pio a few days ago: “Our Lord loves you and loves you tenderly; and if He does not let you feel the sweetness of His love, it is to make you more humble and abject in your own eyes.”

May God bless you as you enter the seminary and keep you in His Peace and Love! 🙂
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top