Praying for you! I too have struggled with this issue. I was born during my country’s dictatorial regime; I’ve watched power and religion used in heinous ways and been abused by those closest to me, including family, friends and “church” leaders/friends (not a Catholic church though). The therapists in that country were afraid to talk about anything concerning racial or religious issues, for in that place one wrong word can land them in jail for years, so I never got any kind of help from anyone. I was welcomed into the Catholic Church 3,5 years ago. I’ve been living in an atheistic country since then and I’ve been asked multiple times: Why do you believe in Catholicism? I thought about it: Other religions all have beautiful symbols such as the moon, the lotus flower, the stars, a bull or eagle or anything that symbolizes beauty and strength, but we have the Cross, a symbol of cruelty, injustice and humiliation. Why? Many times I’m so angry at this world’s coldness and cruelty, so much that I luxuriate in the thought of saying “No more” to this world, and then I enter the Church, where our Lord hung helplessly on a crucifix, His head tilted to the side in sorrow, and I thought, “He’s still saying Yes to us today, this minute.He’s still bearing this world’s cruelties and filth out of Love for us.” I encourage all of us to consider Him and His Love (Hebrews 12:1-11) and also the fact that we’re already united to Him in a Love stronger than death: “For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the Church, because we are members of his body.” (Ephesians 5:29-30) Pray for me also, since these past memories often give me nightmares and very debilitating insomnia, and while the therapists in my country have to shut their mouths due to the cruel regime, therapists from outside the country know nothing of my birth country’s problems (especially since I’m from a racial and religious minority, and the idealists among us always suffer persecution in various forms) Currently I don’t have any real friends apart from some priests who I often feel may be helping me out of a sense of duty more than anything else, and it makes me feel like a burden to them. My fun loving friends (I’m in my late 20’s and none of my friends care about these things) couldn’t care less and my relatives have no religious or patriotic ideals and thus can’t relate to me in any meaningful way. Pray for me and be strong in the Lord! Go to Adoration often and let His love permeate your innermost being, receive the Sacraments regularly and pray a lot for healing and mercy, for ourselves and for this world. Maybe we are called in some small way to offer up our suffering and intercede for our society, especially since not many people are willing to do so. May the peace and joy of Christ be always with us. Mother Mary, pray for us and embrace us with your loving presence.