T
TBenedicta
Guest
I am going through an emotionally difficult time. Like many others, I’ve dealt with unemployment and underemployment since my college graduation in 2010. My husband and I moved to the Philadelphia area last August for him to start medical school, and I saw it as a chance for me to start fresh and enter a wider pool of potential jobs.
Unfortunately, I was met with another period of unemployment which culminated in accepting the sole job offer I’d received in two and a half years of searching: nannying for a family with two small boys (then ages 2 months and 18 months). While I care a great deal for those boys, I hate (yes, hate) my job. In the beginning, I left work each day grateful for the chance to earn my small wage and cover our living expenses just barely… but now, I leave each day frustrated, dejected, and downright depressed. I’d thought I would take this nannying job temporarily, while I looked for other jobs. Now it seems clear that this is my one and only option.
My days are long- 10 hours- and taxing; it isn’t that the children are especially difficult. They are good boys. It’s more so my outlook, that of resentment. I deplore having to clean another woman’s home and care for her children while I myself am too poor to afford my own family. I’m overworked, underpaid, have no health insurance, can barely afford living expenses despite living extremely simply (no cable, our shared car is paid off, our groceries average $50/week for us both plus our cat), and am being eaten alive by student loan payments.
I know this situation isn’t unique, but the flood of emotions I feel each day is getting to be truly overwhelming. I ask that you pray for my continued faith in God and for me to trust God’s will. It is heartbreaking to me that we won’t be anywhere CLOSE to being able to start a family for several years, which is my main source of anxiety. Thus, I also ask that you pray for our financial situation- not that we would be rich- but that our basic needs would be cared for, as well as the continued payment of my student loans. I don’t know if it’s God’s will that I find another job, but in my heart I hope so. I can’t imagine being this depressed for much longer. I am literally a shell of myself and nothing in my life has gone the way I expected. (I know that sounds childish, but there it is.)
Thank you. God bless!
Unfortunately, I was met with another period of unemployment which culminated in accepting the sole job offer I’d received in two and a half years of searching: nannying for a family with two small boys (then ages 2 months and 18 months). While I care a great deal for those boys, I hate (yes, hate) my job. In the beginning, I left work each day grateful for the chance to earn my small wage and cover our living expenses just barely… but now, I leave each day frustrated, dejected, and downright depressed. I’d thought I would take this nannying job temporarily, while I looked for other jobs. Now it seems clear that this is my one and only option.
My days are long- 10 hours- and taxing; it isn’t that the children are especially difficult. They are good boys. It’s more so my outlook, that of resentment. I deplore having to clean another woman’s home and care for her children while I myself am too poor to afford my own family. I’m overworked, underpaid, have no health insurance, can barely afford living expenses despite living extremely simply (no cable, our shared car is paid off, our groceries average $50/week for us both plus our cat), and am being eaten alive by student loan payments.
I know this situation isn’t unique, but the flood of emotions I feel each day is getting to be truly overwhelming. I ask that you pray for my continued faith in God and for me to trust God’s will. It is heartbreaking to me that we won’t be anywhere CLOSE to being able to start a family for several years, which is my main source of anxiety. Thus, I also ask that you pray for our financial situation- not that we would be rich- but that our basic needs would be cared for, as well as the continued payment of my student loans. I don’t know if it’s God’s will that I find another job, but in my heart I hope so. I can’t imagine being this depressed for much longer. I am literally a shell of myself and nothing in my life has gone the way I expected. (I know that sounds childish, but there it is.)
Thank you. God bless!
