Please pray for me

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Castinha

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I have been married for 16 years to a wonderful woman and have 5 beautiful children. Since day 1 we have practiced NFP and it has always been rather of a struggle for me. I have also been into self-gratification sexually or m since I was a student and it is the biggest scourge on my life. I have been praying for years to be freed from it, have tried novenas, rosary, counseling but all to no avail. I am tired of going to Confession and repeating this sin over and over again.

As I sat listening to the Good Friday sermon, the priest mentioned that when Jesus said, …“it is accomplished”… he meant that the debt of humanity’s sin has now been paid. You are free. My heart ached as I feel that all the years of prayer, wanting to be rid of the guilt and intense shame has fallen on deaf ears. Yet, I believe no prayer goes unanswered so where does that leave me? I am also praying that my sons not fall prey to this terrible habit.

My wife’s body took a real hammering with our last pregnancy and she is undergoing physio now. We are immigrants and so it is rather hard raising 5 kids when there are no family around to support. It is taking it’s toll on her as she so desperately need a break. We have friends who help out but one can only ask so much of them. Consequently the emotional and physical strain has taken its toll on her libido. Love-making is at most once or twice a month often less.

We have spoken about it and she says that she needs to feel emotionally connected to me to be in the mood for love-making but she admitted that being constantly exhausted is also not helpful. I try and be there for her as much as I can but I know it is not enough. I myself am absolutely exhausted as well after work and seeing to the kids and all their activities and do not last long at night as I wake at 5am every morning to go to work.

Please pray for me. I so much wish for a miracle this Easter as I am so tired of living with this guilt and shame. It is my greatest desire in life to be totally free in Jesus.

Thanks for your prayers.
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†
 
Saint Michael the Archangel
Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle; be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, cast into hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.
 
O Blood and Water that gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fountain of mercy for us, I trust in You!

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee.
 
Oh my Jesus, save us from the fires of hell. Especially those in most need of thy mercy.

God be with you.
 
Just wanna add this, too, what with me being a man who couldn’t break the slave chains of masturbation for years:

Like many men, you have a problem with masturbation.
Unlike many men, you admit it and want to change.

That is admirable.
 
Have you tried, every time you are tempted, realizing that you are in the presence of Jesus, our Lady and all the saints? If you could see them, would you continue?
We are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses. No joke.
 
I wish to thank you all for your prayers and kind words of support. One thing I have learned from my experiences is never to judge or condemn. I deeply empathise with those who suffer from addicitions as well, whether it be sexual, substance abuse like smoking, or whatever.

*Have you tried, every time you are tempted, realizing that you are in the presence of Jesus, our Lady and all the saints? If you could see them, would you continue?
We are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses. No joke. *

Viki63 - you are right but the temptations can be so overwhelming one momentarily forgets about all of them. That’s why I guess it’s so wonderful to know there are others praying for me as well. Hopefully when the temptations come that by their prayers there be a moment of grace to remind me that I belong to the Communion of Saints.

Please continue to pray for me and may the Good Lord bless you all and your families.
 
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