J
JennieBee8
Guest
Hi everyone,
I’ve been reading on this forum for years now and I always find it encouraging. But I thought it might be time to ask for some specific prayers as I am struggling a bit right now.
I’ll try to keep it short. I have few Catholic friends, none that are struggling financially (we can pay our bills, deal with setbacks, but have pretty much no money for extras). We are because we decided to get married/have a baby (and now one more)/and have me stay home. In the process, I left a doctorate program with a potential for high earnings following completion, so as to not rack up loans and lose my ability to be a stay at home mom. I don’t regret these choices and believe that I heard the call of God correctly in making them. Doing the will of God is the most important thing to me.
But, in living out these choices and dealing with my weaknesses, I am really struggling, and I am angry because I have no companions/role models in this journey aside from my wonderful husband. I am TERRIBLY blessed that my husband is 100% on the same page as I am in terms of faith, values, life goals, financial goals. And he understands. But everywhere else I look, people are living the “It’s okay if you rack up to much debt, just apply for bankruptcy,” approach (as stated by my FIL) while going on vacations five plus times a year, Walt Disney world included, paying for extravagant weddings, buying houses they can’t afford, and constantly spending huge amounts of money they don’t have on superficial things; hair, nails, clothes, make up, etc. My in laws live this way and have gone bankrupt twice, had a house foreclosed on, and owe several years salary to the IRS. I am now watching my SIL buy a too expensive house with her new husband to be when they have loads of debt, years of terrible financial habits and parental credit card bailouts behind them. Just a few months ago, the SIL called us hysterically crying, and unloaded all the details of her financial situation, because it was looking so bleak. But, now, somehow it’s all fine and everyone’s on board with her and her husband to be (hopefully more financially responsible but no reason to believe so) buying a house three times their income, with a tiny down payment, no emergency fund, and no past history of an ability to save despite both living at home since college.
We’ve voiced our concerns and they all basically just think we’re jealous. But we also have gently refused to go on these vacations, take the extravagant Christmas presents (bought with who knows what money by the MIL), and, though we are both recovering spend-as-you-goers and we still make mistakes, we hold ourselves to the money we actually have. We are proud of that. We don’t want things bought with debt. We are working toward being debt free ourselves and don’t wish to do so by helping others accrue debt.
I guess I am saying two things: it’s tough to struggle, be disciplined, deny yourself, and live at a lower standard of living than you were brought up to expect or than anyone else you know does, it’s even harder to do so, when the people around you think that every want must be catered to and don’t seem to suffer any consequences as they live their extravagant lifestyle. A few frugal Catholic friends, which I have not found/been granted by God, would probably go a long way.
At the same time as all this is going on, and I am struggling to be disciplined and willing to live on what God has provided us, my dad has remarried and pushed me out of my life after, himself, having gone bankrupt on a venture. My mom passed away ten years ago and, as I deal with the demands of an amazing but challenging toddler, or trying to grow in virtue, I have no one in real life to look up to. My mother was quite amazing: frugal, hard-working, valued substance over superficiality, and was a great mother. I miss her.
Pray for me to have strength and discipline in my attempts to live within God’s provision, and peace to deal with the situations around me without becoming so emotionally upset. Also, please pray that I find some companionship or someone to look up to.
I’ve been reading on this forum for years now and I always find it encouraging. But I thought it might be time to ask for some specific prayers as I am struggling a bit right now.
I’ll try to keep it short. I have few Catholic friends, none that are struggling financially (we can pay our bills, deal with setbacks, but have pretty much no money for extras). We are because we decided to get married/have a baby (and now one more)/and have me stay home. In the process, I left a doctorate program with a potential for high earnings following completion, so as to not rack up loans and lose my ability to be a stay at home mom. I don’t regret these choices and believe that I heard the call of God correctly in making them. Doing the will of God is the most important thing to me.
But, in living out these choices and dealing with my weaknesses, I am really struggling, and I am angry because I have no companions/role models in this journey aside from my wonderful husband. I am TERRIBLY blessed that my husband is 100% on the same page as I am in terms of faith, values, life goals, financial goals. And he understands. But everywhere else I look, people are living the “It’s okay if you rack up to much debt, just apply for bankruptcy,” approach (as stated by my FIL) while going on vacations five plus times a year, Walt Disney world included, paying for extravagant weddings, buying houses they can’t afford, and constantly spending huge amounts of money they don’t have on superficial things; hair, nails, clothes, make up, etc. My in laws live this way and have gone bankrupt twice, had a house foreclosed on, and owe several years salary to the IRS. I am now watching my SIL buy a too expensive house with her new husband to be when they have loads of debt, years of terrible financial habits and parental credit card bailouts behind them. Just a few months ago, the SIL called us hysterically crying, and unloaded all the details of her financial situation, because it was looking so bleak. But, now, somehow it’s all fine and everyone’s on board with her and her husband to be (hopefully more financially responsible but no reason to believe so) buying a house three times their income, with a tiny down payment, no emergency fund, and no past history of an ability to save despite both living at home since college.
We’ve voiced our concerns and they all basically just think we’re jealous. But we also have gently refused to go on these vacations, take the extravagant Christmas presents (bought with who knows what money by the MIL), and, though we are both recovering spend-as-you-goers and we still make mistakes, we hold ourselves to the money we actually have. We are proud of that. We don’t want things bought with debt. We are working toward being debt free ourselves and don’t wish to do so by helping others accrue debt.
I guess I am saying two things: it’s tough to struggle, be disciplined, deny yourself, and live at a lower standard of living than you were brought up to expect or than anyone else you know does, it’s even harder to do so, when the people around you think that every want must be catered to and don’t seem to suffer any consequences as they live their extravagant lifestyle. A few frugal Catholic friends, which I have not found/been granted by God, would probably go a long way.
At the same time as all this is going on, and I am struggling to be disciplined and willing to live on what God has provided us, my dad has remarried and pushed me out of my life after, himself, having gone bankrupt on a venture. My mom passed away ten years ago and, as I deal with the demands of an amazing but challenging toddler, or trying to grow in virtue, I have no one in real life to look up to. My mother was quite amazing: frugal, hard-working, valued substance over superficiality, and was a great mother. I miss her.
Pray for me to have strength and discipline in my attempts to live within God’s provision, and peace to deal with the situations around me without becoming so emotionally upset. Also, please pray that I find some companionship or someone to look up to.