Please pray for me

[RCCDefender]

We are into our second month of NFP (STM) and my husband is still not with the program. I’ve tried to go over the book with him and I just don’t feel like he cares. He wants me to go to the classes by myself (he works odd hours). He wants to push the envelope as far as he can without engaging in marital relations. He get mad at me for pushing him away. He says that all he thinks about now is sex. He wanted me to find in the book where somebody says that having sex less has made their marriage stronger. He still thinks ABC is not a sin. I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle. I feel like I’m fighting for our souls. I’m becoming more, and more depressed. Not to mention the fact that I’m so exhausted from our child’s constant temper tantrums that I have to deal with alone because of his work. I’m too tired to load the dishwasher, let alone fight off all of his advances. I was exhausted before I even got in the car this morning.

I don’t know what to do! :crying: :yawn:

 

[LSK]

It sounds like it might be time for a sit down with a counselor or priest…your DH is being mean. And a little one having constant temper tantrums? Honey, something’s wrong…is there anyone in your parish (Mom’s group, someone?) who can come over and give you time for a NAP???

 

[RCCDefender]

One of the things he doesn’t think is sin is mutual mas…, that’s all I’ll put. He said maybe the Church is wrong about this whole issue. I told him he should talk to God about it, and he said, “Maybe I will.” This was Sunday morning. Since then all kinds of bad things have happened to us. He said maybe God was answering him, but then he got ticked at me again last night for wanting to study the NFP book with him instead of make out.

 

[vluvski]

You poor thing!
NFP and other/related sexual temptations/difficulties are difficult enough when both spouses agree that MM and deliberate arousal are sinful.
It’s pretty difficult to let NFP benefit you as a couple if the time that could be spent in deep conversation or prayer is spent with you fending off his advances.
Hang in there! You will be greatly rewarded sooner or later!

 

[gardenswithkids]

RCCDefender:

I feel like I’m fighting for our souls.

You may be doing just that. Be strong and stand firm. And try wearing ugly pajamas with a scapular around your neck.

 

[Lone_Catholic]

It is so hard when one person is not completely into using NFP. In the process of my converting, I found the truth about ABC and read “The Art of Natural Family Planning” and wanted to start using NFP immediately. My husband agreed to go along with it, but he was never really into know the ins and outs of it. He also thinks there is nothing wrong with MM or “other things” and it has been quite a struggle in our marriage. He’s fine with using NFP as long as we can do “other things” in Phase 2. He is also still Protestant, so the Church’s teachings really don’t sway him one way or another. I still can’t seem to get a straight answer as to whether it is wrong for me to do those things for him–it seems to me it would be the same as one partner using ABC but the other would not be sinning to have relations with him/her. So I still confess it as “sinning against marital chastity” when it happens, but I don’t know if it really is? If anyone has an answer on this, please let me know. I try really hard for it not to happen, but about every other month or so, he wears me down with his whining about it. Oh, I’m even pregnant right now, so it is not even birth control, just a preference if you know what I mean. Not to get too graphic, sorry. I tried posting this in “Ask an Apologist” but didn’t get a reply. I know the standard answer, that it is wrong, but I was asking more in my situation.

Anyway, RCCDefender, didn’t mean to derail your thread, I just wanted you to know there are others in your situation. I think the only answer is prayer. It would probably help to talk to your priest too, if your husband will go along with that. OH try putting a scapular under his side of the bed. I did this a few months ago, and maybe I’m imagining it, but I do think his heart has softened toward the Church a bit. I also remember it is there although he doesn’t know, and it helps me keep my mind pure when we are there together.

God Bless.

 

[gardenswithkids]

Lone Catholic:

He’s fine with using NFP as long as we can do “other things” in Phase 2. He is also still Protestant, so the Church’s teachings really don’t sway him one way or another. I still can’t seem to get a straight answer as to whether it is wrong for me to do those things for him–it seems to me it would be the same as one partner using ABC but the other would not be sinning to have relations with him/her. So I still confess it as “sinning against marital chastity” when it happens, but I don’t know if it really is? If anyone has an answer on this, please let me know.

I think you are wise to confess it with the wording you use. (Don’t need to be too graphic in the confessional.) One of the Biblical points against contraception is the phrase from Genesis, “spilled his seed.” I assume when you begin what you describe there is the intent of spilling, (rather than being foreplay that, um, finishes early without planning.)

If I understand you correctly, I don’t think it is quite the same as if one partner uses birth control while the other opposes. It’s more like a husband begging his wife to contracept and the wife (who morally objects) giving in and using some form of birth control herself. This isn’t to say I think it’s neccesarily a mortal sin, (as there appears to be some form of coersion involved and I don’t know how God will take that into account), but I think you are wise to avoid it and confess it when it occurs.