Please pray for my family

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Mchristian

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Brothers & Sisters,

My family is in crisis and on verge of collapse tonight is the breaking point I’ve been married 10 years and have 2 daughters (8 and 14) . I Love my wife dearly and my daughters! I want to keep my family?

There are no major issues like drinking, non-loving , battery, etc., but obviously I missed something.

Infidelity may be in question again… maybe I dont learn but at least I have given up. At this point am I a fool to continue trying? At what point am I judged for not using wisdom? She said she 'd do anything to keep family together, but this has compromising circumstances have happened repeatedly.

Please advise, but most of all pray for us.

The only reason that I’m not leaving tonight is not to ruin the holidays for the girls. After that I" considering either divorce or moving out while she decides what or who she wants.
 
Hi, you say that ‘Infidelity may be in question again.’ You don’t sound very sure about this as if an unconfirmed suspicion…just wondering if it has at any time been a confirmed fact…but I can imagine the pressure this is putting upon you and your relationship. You do seem convinced that your wife has been unfaithful in the past.

I don’t think I could stand infidelity but can’t say whether you should leave or not…maybe speak to a trusted priest?

In order to ‘do anything’ to save a marriage a spouse certainly needs to be consistently faithful to the marriage, so your wife would certainly need to do this.

I will be praying for you and for your wife and daughters.

My heart goes out to you in this terrible time of decision

Regards, Trishie
 
With all that has happened in y’all’s relationship, it may not be a bad idea to take a temporary break so everyone can catch their breath.

Tell her the relationship is not over, but you want a break to clear your head, and form a plan to recover, and you want the TRUTH about everything once and for all.

I find that a lot on this board-avoiding the truth. A relationship can’t make it without trust. I know I can’t be with somebody that is not totally honest. In many threads I’ve seen folks asking for advice on what to say, or how to handle something, and the best advice I can give is give them truth.

The Sisters at Christ The King taught me that, and my dad taught me to always use it in my relationships. The times I strayed from it, I got in trouble.

When confronted with something, side with the truth, and let everyone in your life know you will NOT tolerate being lied to. It may cause you to be disliked and make people uncomfortable, but you WILL be respected.

If y’all have to take a break, your daughters don’t have to know every detail, but if they ask you tell them why. They are smarter then you think, and already know there is trouble in paradise.

Once you get some trust back in your marriage, you have something to build on. Trust can be lost, and it can be regained, but that will take work. I don’t know what your culpablitity has been, and been my experience you hear this side, then the other, and the truth is somewhere in the middle.

Put God in back in charge of y’all’s relationship and He will show ya how to base it on honesty. Good luck and we’ll all be praying for y’all.
 
I will pray for all of you - I know when we went through Pre-CANA there was one question on the FOCCUS test about adultery and it was “I could forgive my spouse if they had an affair.” You had to pick I agree, disagree, or undecided. We were told that the proctors of the test look for the I agree answer and that forgiveness to a spouse is part of the vocation just as Christ loves His Church a man loves his bride. Just as Christ was tortured he looked to his Father and yelled “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” It is that forgiveness that Christ has for his Church that a bride and a groom must find for each other in this vocation. Now all that being said we are humans trying to be Christlike not Christ himself and you have to do what is best for you and your children. Please talk to your priest or deacon and good luck on your journey. I think the other advice that our deacon gives couples that are trying to discern divorce which is pretty good and falls into your situation is this, “Would you want your daughters to be in the kind of marriage you are in now?” Good luck and God bless,
 
I’ll keep you in my prayers. Recently I found out about my husbands infidelity and I’m trying to recover. It’s the hardest thing anyone can go through…

God bless you and your daughters!
 
I am deeply sorry you are going through this… I will keep you and your loved ones in my prayers…

If there is any way you could prove that she was or wasn’t it could help the relationship out as well…

If you find out she has, then you can both work together with your priest, learn how to forgive and to work things out, through counseling, etc…

If you can find out she hasn’t then at least you can work on your insecurities with her and through your priest and counseling…

I do wish you good luck and GOD bless!
 
I hope that things have proved to be better than you feared.
God bless you and your family
 
It appears things will work out God willing. I have been on an emotional roller coaster ride dealing with pain, anger, hurt, joy (for another chance). I’m tired but i’m grateful that the Lord gives me and family enough strength to make it to the next day.

I want to sincerely thank ALL of you for your prayers and support as it has helped. Trishie thank you so much for following up and really caring.

JoanDarc2008 thank you for your powerful advice about vocation and forgiveness. This has giving some fortitude and a mission.

All of you brothers and sister have giving me hope!
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