B
BlushingMango
Guest
Hello everyone, it appears to me that God must really think I’m made of steel because of all the stuff I’m going through right now. I don’t even know where to begin but… I have intrusive thoughts OCD, my form is better known as pure-o or pure obsession without much compulsion. I’m going on a year this September which is when it all began for me. It has been a living hell for me practically and not to mention I can’t stop sinning because of my OCD. I’ve tried so hard but when temptation strikes, I fall almost every time. It’s hard to see this happening to myself at such a young age but quite frankly I actually feel like I’m possessed. It’s so hard to be happy through all my terrible thoughts. My parents and basically everyone in my family has barely any idea this is happening since I just seclude myself from the world when I need to cry and just be depressed. Recently it’s been harder for me to focus on God and that means satan is trying even harder to win me over. I really see the battlefield before me every day I just feel like my soul must really be super important in a sarcastic way since God has so much faith that I can get over all these challenges He seems to be giving me, but satan is also showing no mercy and I often fear dying in my sleep because I probably would go to hell.
Oh, and on top of all this (I won’t go into detail because it’s probably too horrific to explain) I have nerve problems which runs in the family but I think that the nerve problems me, my mom, and my half brother get are from stress. I have had SO MUCH stress since I got intrusive thoughts and this just destroys me because last time I had these nerve issues, I cried so much and was always depressed. (Not to mention I tried telling someone about it but since I really don’t know what is happening to me I guess it can only be explained as another challenge or struggle given to strengthen me.) That was at least 6 months ago. Since then my body got pretty much used to it and I was fine! Well… Round 2 strikes me. It happened a few days ago and now that the effects have fully hit me I am back in that same loop of depression and I’m always crying behind my closed door. Please pray for me and hopefully you read all this because it’s nice to get it all off my chest knowing someone can maybe relate and/or understand me? Thanks, it really helps. And hopefully, my relationship with God continues to grow so I can overcome all this. :hypno:
Oh, and on top of all this (I won’t go into detail because it’s probably too horrific to explain) I have nerve problems which runs in the family but I think that the nerve problems me, my mom, and my half brother get are from stress. I have had SO MUCH stress since I got intrusive thoughts and this just destroys me because last time I had these nerve issues, I cried so much and was always depressed. (Not to mention I tried telling someone about it but since I really don’t know what is happening to me I guess it can only be explained as another challenge or struggle given to strengthen me.) That was at least 6 months ago. Since then my body got pretty much used to it and I was fine! Well… Round 2 strikes me. It happened a few days ago and now that the effects have fully hit me I am back in that same loop of depression and I’m always crying behind my closed door. Please pray for me and hopefully you read all this because it’s nice to get it all off my chest knowing someone can maybe relate and/or understand me? Thanks, it really helps. And hopefully, my relationship with God continues to grow so I can overcome all this. :hypno:
