Please pray, I am in a living hell

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ellzeena

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Thursday is my birthday, the second without my daughter. On March 2, it will be two years since she did the unthinkable. I am being tormented to a degree that all my prayer and even my service to the Church no longer helps me. At Adoration today, I was being hounded; I thought Satan couldn’t follow me there? The second year has been worse than the first. I need strong prayer warriors, I have to survive this, I still have work to do for Him. But I don’t know how I can live the rest of my life with this torment. Remember me in your prayers.
 
Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -
by the Divine Power of God -
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.

Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
Keeping you in my prayers. Hold on to the hands of Jesus and meditate on him on the Cross. Cast all your wounds and torments to Him. He will never let you go!
 
My thoughts are with you. For myself, the breaks with my children did not come suddenly, but in death by a thousand cuts. It still hurts deeply.

You are in Jesus loving hands.

:gopray2:
Suzanne57 said:
Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -
by the Divine Power of God -
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.

Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
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It is a great sorrow to lose one’s child.
I will pray for healing, compassion, forgiveness…whatever is needed to reunite you both in faith and love and to fulfill God’s will in both your lives.
May God bless and comfort you, and protect you.

May God embrace you on this your birthday.
A warm hug,
Trishie
 
My sweet dear, I am so deeply sorry for your struggles and loss. My prayers go out to you.
 
Eternal God, when my spirit has burned to ashes, ground to dust with a boulder of mute and heavy sorrow, please give me trust in Your personal love for me.

When mine, or others’ mistakes or uncaring have wounded and savaged my heart, where are You to restore what is injured even when I plead for Your intervention and strive to heal the damage? And yet, though You seem absent, I still humbly cry out for Your mercy and healing.

When my efforts leave me helpless with no path left to try, please comfort me and show me a new path.

When others undermine with repeated assaults and short-circuit my resolve, send wise friends to comfort and support me. For no sooner has one problem and heartache eased or resolved than another, equally painful, arises for another or myself.

When I seek You but sometimes feel You are heartlessly steeled against me and my life becomes a flat salt desert. Please help me to trust in You even then, when trust no longer seems possible.

When my heart cries out repeatedly, groping in the helplessness of fears, disappointments and grief that words cannot convey; screaming in the silence of my brain. Is my only comfort, some day, death?

Yet still I call on You and place my tatters of faith in You.
 
1 Thessalonians 5:9-10
New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)
9 For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. 10 He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him.
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You and your daughter live today…in different states of being…but still you live together in Christ Jesus, Our Lord…because the same God who said: “let there be light…and there was light”…is the same God who says that you and your daughter live together in Christ…and so it is…so it is!

May I recommend a book that I pray will be of help and comfort to you in your time of tribulation.

Pax Christi

Arise from Darkness
What to Do When Life Doesn’t Make Sense
**Fr. Benedict Groeschel
**
http://www.ignatius.com/Content/Site107/ProductImages/AFD-P.gif
“This sensitive and profound book may become the book that can help you most in your own sufferings or that you can give to others when your own words fail.”
—Ronda Chervin, Ph.D., Author, The Kiss from the Cross
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“Just the kind of wise guidance we have come to expect from Father Groeschel. It is clear, simple, compassionate, personal, practical, Christ-centered and full of Gospel quotes that come alive in Groeschel’s hands.”
—Peter Kreeft, Author, Making Sense Out of Suffering
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Fr. Benedict Groeschel, CFR is the director of the Office of Spiritual Development for the New York Archdiocese. He has written numerous books on the spiritual life and pastoral counseling. He is a member of the Franciscans of the Renewal who preach evangelical reform and work with the homeless in the South Bronx.
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ignatius.com/Products/AFD-P/arise-from-darkness.aspx
**“O God, Our Help in Ages Past” **
Isaac Watts, 1719
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O God, our help in ages past,
Our hope for years to come,
Our shelter from the stormy blast,
And our eternal home.
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Under the shadow of Thy throne
Thy saints have dwelt secure;
Sufficient is Thine arm alone,
And our defense is sure.
Click to expand...
Before the hills in order stood,
Or earth received her frame,
From everlasting Thou art God,
To endless years the same.
Click to expand...
A thousand ages in Thy sight
Are like an evening gone;
Short as the watch that ends the night
Before the rising sun.
Click to expand...
Time, like an ever rolling stream,
Bears all its sons away;
They fly, forgotten, as a dream
Dies at the opening day.
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O God, our help in ages past,
Our hope for years to come,
Be Thou our guard while troubles last,
And our eternal home.
Click to expand...
 
ellzeena said:
Thursday is my birthday, the second without my daughter. On March 2, it will be two years since she did the unthinkable. I am being tormented to a degree that all my prayer and even my service to the Church no longer helps me. At Adoration today, I was being hounded; I thought Satan couldn’t follow me there? The second year has been worse than the first. I need strong prayer warriors, I have to survive this, I still have work to do for Him. But I don’t know how I can live the rest of my life with this torment. Remember me in your prayers.
Click to expand...
I have never suffered your particular pain involving the loss of a child. But I have read a lot about this and part of what I read is about the importance of faith and prayer though your heart is breaking. Also, support groups and books, exercise, nutritious eating, serving others, creativity in some form, and, not least, getting a pet if you don’t already have one, are other tools you can use to cope with this terrible loss. The second year is often more difficult than the first, as you say, and remember too there is no timetable for grieving and the process is often messy.

I will pray for your healing so that you can continue to lead your life in the service of G-d and your fellow man.
 
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death
Amen.

St. Jude, pray for them!
 
I suggest praying the Rosary if you haven’t been already and wearing it around your neck, perhaps under your shirt if you feel weird about wearing one. Also, perhaps you should consider getting a Medal of St. Benedict (or Crucifix Medal of St. Benedict. They’re basically the same thing.) Make sure to have it blessed by a priest if you get one. Here’s a link about them that includes the blessing for the priest to say over one:

osb.org/gen/medal.html
 
ellzeena, I am so sorry for your intense pain. I will remember you in prayer.
 
I am so touched by what you wrote, Ellzeena, and the courage it took to speak about something so close to your heart.

Tomorrow is the feast of Our Lady of Lourdes, and I have just placed a prayer intention for you and your daughter at the Grotto in Lourdes, France. Here is the link in case you would like to do so, too. (It’s all in English.)

en.lourdes-france.org/praying/placing-a-petition-at-the-grotto-of-lourdes

You’re in my prayers, especially on Thursday and March 2nd. Stay close to Jesus and let His Blessed Mother wrap you in her mantle, hold you close and comfort you with heavenly love as you grieve.
 
As an uncle, I have felt the pain of separation from my nieces.

Your plight deeply touches me.

I will pray for you.
 
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