Please read, help. Someone. Anyone. I want and need someone to talk to

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ZeroJinraikyaku

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I don’t know if this is in the right section, but I am in need of someone to talk to.

Okay, so this is going to be a semi-long post. Bear with me, please. Anyway, here you go:

Firstly, let’s start with my name. My name is Paul, and I am an atheist. I am 19-years-old. I am also an undiagnosed autistic (Aspergers). Honestly, I vehemently hate myself with an unfathomable passion. I hate every single thing about myself, especially the way I am neurologically wired and how I’m a compulsive liar. I cannot stop lying whatsoever. It makes me hate myself even more because I myself do not like being liked to. Also, I can’t handle anything, not even everyday social interaction. My social anxiety is so intense, eye-contact is so painful (it feels like an array of needles poking my eyes, causing me to feel inevitably and undeniably nauseous) that it makes every single day a fight to want to live, and I can’t take it anymore. My overall anxiety intensifies as I get older, causing me to always feel as though I am about to vomit nonstop. I contemplate suicide on a day-to-day basis, always want to self-mutilate (note: I do not self-harm, it’s just a never-ending battle to want to do so), and cry literally every single day. I am honestly not happy at all anymore. I can’t even remember a time when I was completely happy, to be honest with you and, since I’m now second-guessing myself, God. Is God real? I’ve denied His existence for quite some time now, never second-guessed myself and questioned until recently.

Secondly, allow me to go further into detail about some of the problems I’ve been having throughout what was my high school years. I was homeschooled my entire life all the way until 2010, the year I started 9th-grade. Unfortunately, I dropped out of high school, a decision I wholeheartedly regret, in May 2012, the end of my sophomore year due to severe social anxiety, mood swings (honestly, I’m starting to think I was and still am bipolar), and constant academic pressure. I was doing quite well prior to dropping out, making decent grades in both Pre-AP English 10 and AP European History apart from failing Algebra I twice, another reason as to why I dropped out. Sadly, I cracked. I regret it. I regret not speaking up. Lastly, I regret not talking to a guidance counsellor about my internal problems.

Today, out of curiosity, I called my local high school to see if I could enroll back in and start right where I left off. According to the senior counsellor, who was an extremely kind lady that answered all of my questions and even pulled up my transcript to discuss my schedule if I do do decide to come back, I can. It’s apparently not too late because I’m under 21.

If God is real, how do I become close to Him? There are only three things I want to do at this very moment: get psychiatric help (even if it alters my future), graduate high school, and, if He truly is real, become closer to God. I honestly don’t know what to start, how to start, or when to start.

Also, should I enroll back in high school? Someone mentioned Job Corps to me to finish my high school diploma, but I’m not so sure. I took the GED in December 2013 and passed everything but the Mathematics portion of the test.

Please help. I feel so lost, so alone, so unloved. I get called crazy every time I try to talk about my problems… even though I try my absolute best to always lend a hand.

Thank you so much for reading this. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

-Paul
 
I’m so sorry for your situation but please don’t hate yourself.It’s not your fault.
I wish your parents were being more supportive.
In some peoples circumstances,home schooling doesn’t give them the opportunity to develop social schools and to know how to interact but the good thing is your still very young and can still learn.
Is there someone near your area that specialises in cognitive training for people with Aspergers?
Could you maybe try a social activity in a small group before re enrolling in HS?
Hs can be very stressful,particularly socially,for many people,and in your situation it could feel especially too much pressure or stress.
Are there any certain types of people or certain situations that make you feel particularly anxious?
 
Paul, it appears that you are trying to deal with these difficult issues alone and without even a clear diagnosis or any available help for these issues.
You assess that you are undiagnosed Asperger’s, and even that you may be bipolar.
You need to know what you are actually battling, so that you have the opportunity to seek help to manage your distressing difficulties.

There may be help available to make life more bearable.
I don’t know if home-schooling was chosen until you were in grade 9 because you found it painful to go to school with other children when younger, but if so, that just put off the inevitable and failed to help you cope better in public education. For most of us, in the adult world there is little escape for social difficulties.

I hope that you can find the means and the right professionals to help you understand and manage your painful issues. This seems a basic question.
The other question is regarding your education and future.
Have you considered speaking to the guidance counsellor at the High School as some part of trying to decide about your future, though you also may need other professional advice.

A place to start with God is to talk with Him, honestly about yourself. Share your desire and your struggles, make God part of every day, as your friend. Tell God you’re not sure you believe in Him, because life, so far. has been so hard. Say sorry if you’ve offended against Him, but tell Him that every day, every moment of every day, you need help. You need to know you’re not alone, that He will somehow help you through this, in your low times and less painful times.

I’m sorry life is so hard for you. I can only imagine, but I do hope and pray that you will receive the support and advice that you need.
I hope you can finish your education and that you can find your place in the world.
All the best, Trish
 
ZeroJinraikyaku said:
I don’t know if this is in the right section, but I am in need of someone to talk to.

If God is real, how do I become close to Him? There are only three things I want to do at this very moment: get psychiatric help (even if it alters my future), graduate high school, and, if He truly is real, become closer to God. I honestly don’t know what to start, how to start, or when to start.

-Paul
Click to expand...
Cry out to God in your pain. Ask Him to save you. Keep crying out. Ask Him for peace. Ask for love. Ask for healing. We are all beggars.
 
**Hi Paul. I don’t have any advice, but I will keep you in my prayers. :hug1:

Blessed Mother, please intercede for us.
Hold the sorrowful, strengthen the fearful,
mother and love the weary, abused, neglected
or forgotten among us,
give your aid to all needing help or healing,
assist those who are sick, in pain or suffering,
be with those needing peace,
console the lonely or brokenhearted,
comfort the lost or hopeless,
guard the unborn,
pray for those who are dying or who have died,
soften those with hardened hearts,
enlighten those who do not yet see truth,
help us be brave enough to let our hurt and anger go,
show us the way to do the right thing,
protect those who are in danger,
and guide us from every evil.
May all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen :gopray:**
 
Be real with God, talk to him, tell Him your doubts about Him. Ask that He may open your eyes to Him. When you find Him it won’t always make your problems go away, but He will give you a new found joy to overcome obstacles. The great thing about God is that he doesn’t call us because we are qualified, He calls us because He loves us. He loves us so much He sent his son to die for our sins. You came to the right website with your struggle ! God gave us community to build each other up! Continue running for help!

I once heard an analogy of how we know God is real. Just take a second and think of the beauty we have on Earth, how detailed each and every organism is and how well they work together. Our human bodies have so many functions that run so smoothly. Look at your fingerprint and notice just how much detail is there. Now think about it, did all this beauty and perfection on Earth just happen or was it created? When you look at a dictionary, you see a giant book of words with perfectly matched definitions. Now saying the world evolved with a Big Bang is like saying a typewriter exploded and the result was a dictionary. How could something with so much detail and beauty just happen? It has to have been created.
Keep your openness to God and He will work wonders in your life! God bless you!
 
Ok, I’m sorry about responding with a really long post. If anything I say is hard to read, feel free to ask questions.

I don’t know a lot about other options, but the idea of going back to high school sounds like a good option for you. 19 isn’t really a lot older, you wouldn’t stand out a lot compared to the other kids. If there’s a junior college in your area, it might be a good idea to look for a math student who could tutor you in Algebra. Often higher math students are very glad to help people struggling with high school math.

I think your options are very limited if you don’t go back to school. Listening to you describe your anxiety and issues with social interaction, you don’t sound like someone who would be content working a job at a fast-food restaurant. You will have more career options with an education. I don’t know what you’re looking at as far as careers go, but look for something that uses your skills but wouldn’t involve a lot of working with other people.

I’m afraid there is no cure all for the issues you described in your post. I think a counselor can probably help you, but you will probably have to struggle with it yourself too. Often other people can help but they can’t magically cure the problem.

I’m glad to see you looking to God for help. I would be very glad to answer any questions you have as you seek God and try to find out if He is real.

I do caution you that faith is not an absolute cure-all-the-problems-I-ever-had! thing. I am not quite normal psychologically and while God has made certain issues MUCH easier for me to deal with by giving me a better attitude, I still struggle with my own issues.

I will do my best to explain the basics of Christianity, what it takes to be close to God, and how to reach Him. I apologize if this is unclear because putting the Gospel in easy to understand terms can be hard for me. Also, I haven’t looked you up and I’m not assuming you come from a Christian background, so I’m translating all these ideas out of churchy terms.

One of the first fundamental ideas is that people are not perfect. We were born with an inclination to do bad things. Because of that, we can’t be close to God spiritually now or physically in Heaven, because we aren’t perfect and don’t deserve that. BUT God sent Jesus (who was part of himself) to earth. Jesus died on a cross 2000 years ago. He lived a perfect life for us and then suffered a punishment for us, and that made up for the perfect lives we haven’t lived and the punishment we deserve. Now there’s a chance for anyone to be close to God, because of that.

Not everyone has received this forgiveness, though. To be saved, we need to admit in our hearts that we’re imperfect. We need to believe that God is real and Jesus did die to atone for our sins. And we need to pray, confessing that we’ve done wrong things and asking God to save us.

Also, this belief that God is real isn’t something we reach on our own. God gives us this faith. If you’re having a hard time believing that God is actually there, pray. Ask Him to show you that He exists. Ask God to give you faith. One of the things about the Christian faith that no other religion really has is the fact that God is with us, and he is listening, and we can pray to Him casually. Most religions don’t believe you can ask a god for help as if he’s in the room!

Please reply or message me if you have any questions about what I said, if something wasn’t clear, or if there’s some new development. I am here and ready to help.

I will pray that God will show himself to you and give you faith, and hopefully some peace and love too. 🙂

God bless you,
Grace
 
Paul please speak to a mental health professional. Seek counseling and try to find answers to some of your psychological issues. You mentioned undiagnosed autism, depression, self-harming, and that you feel you may be bipolar. The bottom line is that until you speak with someone who knows more about the mind and mental illness, you won’t know how to approach these feelings and reactions that you have to the world.

Please talk to a counselor and see about getting a psychiatrist. You shouldn’t be trying to diagnose yourself.

I suggest that you attend to your mental health NOW rather than trying to solve a mental illness with a spiritual bandaid. Talk to a counselor and then come back to this forum to discuss faith.
 
Paul, you need to seek out professional care for your medical/learning issues. Tolerate absolutely no more of this “undiagnosed” business. Get diagnosed. Find out why you have trouble with math.

Going back to school is probably not going to be successful until you get professional help for those issues so please do not delay. Seek out a good counselor, family practice doctor, or pediatrician. A professional won’t insult you by calling you “crazy”. Your medical or learning disability issues are not your fault. Don’t let fear or anxiety stop you.

Yes, there is a God and wants a relationship with you. Daily prayer can be a very calming thing.
 
Paul,

Reading your sincere and heartfelt post has made me feel like you are my own son. If you were here in front of me, I’d wrap my arms around you. How very brave and mature of you to write that post; recognising that you need help and asking for it. Bless your sweet and gentle heart. x

You have many worries; your mental health, your education, your sins and a feeling that God is calling you. Of these four; I would advise dealing with your health and speaking to God first.

School is hard enough without undergoing treatment at the same time. As you have discovered; you have almost two years left to return to school; I feel you should spend one of those years seeing a psychiatrist; who may very well send you for counselling. While these people help you get your head above water; you must do your part by eating well, sleeping well (8 hours and in bed at a decent hour). This may seem trivial but my my lad Conor, who is also 19, suffers from depression and, when he neglects these things; disaster always follows.

As to God; he is already with you. You have been stalked by despair and He has protected you. They say faith is a leap in the dark; I disagree. I find God in the asking and receiving of the strength I need to care for my family and especially my son. When otherwise I would have ‘gone down with the ship’, I pray for help and, out of nowhere, receive the heart to move forward.

I didn’t always feel this way. For almost 10 years I prayed ‘I don’t know if you’re there, but…’ prayers. Looking back; He was there all along but, mired in sin, loss, grief and despair as I was; I couldn’t see my hand before my face.

Speak to your family about consulting a psychiatrist as soon as possible. They are probably worried to death for you! When you see him; deliberate and speak slowly so that every word from your lips is truth. Speak to God; even and especially if you think He isn’t there. Pray for strength, pray for courage, pray to know Him. Eat and sleep well and take exercise; even if it’s just a walk up and down the street. Avoid violent and despairing books and movies; feel your hurting heart with kindness and gentleness. I recommend everything CS Lewis and Tolkein have to say. 😊 Be kind to yourself and your family. Do not avoid their company if you can help it.

You are so young; give this one year over to being as well as you can; in mind, body and soul. Next year; you can tackle your education with a strong and willing heart.

There are people from all over the world here on CAF; from the Us, Europe, India, Asia; and those are just the folks I like to hear from! You have friends here, Paul. At any time of the day or night; we will be praying for you and hoping to hear you are well.

Take good care of yourself lad.

Jenny x
 
ZeroJinraikyaku, one of the primary ways in which God helps us and shows us his love is through other people. He’s not a man in the sky micromanaging the world. He created and set forth physical and spiritual laws which make the world (and cosmos) go round. Too often people who do not believe have been presented a very infantile idea of what God is and of how to read the Bible.

I am sorry you are having all these issues. As others have said, it’s not your fault. Unfortunately, each of us has a cross to bear, and it seems some of us have a heavier than others. Belief in God is not a fix-it-all. It helps, but you need to seek out others. I think you have a good idea in going back to school. Unless you have a really good reason NOT TO, you should take advantage of the opportunity of going back to school free of charge.

As for your anxiety, you really need to see someone. Since this is a Catholic forum and I am working from a Catholic perspective, I recommend you see a Catholic priest and tell him your issues. He can recommend a therapist to you or give you guidance of where to best look. I am war of drugs. They are over-used and dangerous to long-term health. That said, they are not inherently evil and CAN help you manage a condition, especially initially.

Just fair warning: Many unscrupulous doctors will put labels on you because its financially profitable. The government often pays hospitals and doctors more per condition. That shouldn’t stop you from seeking the help you need, though. It’s just something to be aware of. You need to weigh your options, the pros and cons. And right now it seems like you just need to see someone who can help you.

As for getting closer to God, there is a saying: As you do so shall you believe. Pray. Talk to God. And if the atheist in you is saying “this is silly”, pray mentally and remember that studies show that prayer and meditation does a body good anyway!

One point of view I consider, though not Catholic in nature, is this: If nothing really matters and belief in God does you good, then why not just choose to believe in God? God is not something that you can disprove anyway. And he just might be real! I’m not saying that you should believe in something just because it makes you happy. But if there’s something that has at least some chance of being true and calls to you and is not damaging to you, then why not? Maybe there’s a reason that it calls to you.

When you want to hurt yourself remember that it not only against God’s law, but that he loves you and that other human beings love you as well. You may have a cross to bear- this world is fallen and flawed and so our our bodies, sometimes to a great degree- But YOU are perfect and beautiful. Yes, the wiring might be off, but your defects are not you AND they can be treated spiritually and physically as to become manageable and even negligible with time and determination in THIS WORLD.

In any case, good luck with your issues. It looks like you have a long road ahead, but you’ve already started on your journey. Please update us on your progress!
 
ZeroJinraikyaku said:
I don’t know if this is in the right section, but I am in need of someone to talk to.

Okay, so this is going to be a semi-long post. Bear with me, please. Anyway, here you go:

Firstly, let’s start with my name. My name is Paul, and I am an atheist. I am 19-years-old. I am also an undiagnosed autistic (Aspergers). Honestly, I vehemently hate myself with an unfathomable passion. I hate every single thing about myself, especially the way I am neurologically wired and how I’m a compulsive liar. I cannot stop lying whatsoever. It makes me hate myself even more because I myself do not like being liked to. Also, I can’t handle anything, not even everyday social interaction. My social anxiety is so intense, eye-contact is so painful (it feels like an array of needles poking my eyes, causing me to feel inevitably and undeniably nauseous) that it makes every single day a fight to want to live, and I can’t take it anymore. My overall anxiety intensifies as I get older, causing me to always feel as though I am about to vomit nonstop. I contemplate suicide on a day-to-day basis, always want to self-mutilate (note: I do not self-harm, it’s just a never-ending battle to want to do so), and cry literally every single day. I am honestly not happy at all anymore. I can’t even remember a time when I was completely happy, to be honest with you and, since I’m now second-guessing myself, God. Is God real? I’ve denied His existence for quite some time now, never second-guessed myself and questioned until recently.

Secondly, allow me to go further into detail about some of the problems I’ve been having throughout what was my high school years. I was homeschooled my entire life all the way until 2010, the year I started 9th-grade. Unfortunately, I dropped out of high school, a decision I wholeheartedly regret, in May 2012, the end of my sophomore year due to severe social anxiety, mood swings (honestly, I’m starting to think I was and still am bipolar), and constant academic pressure. I was doing quite well prior to dropping out, making decent grades in both Pre-AP English 10 and AP European History apart from failing Algebra I twice, another reason as to why I dropped out. Sadly, I cracked. I regret it. I regret not speaking up. Lastly, I regret not talking to a guidance counsellor about my internal problems.

Today, out of curiosity, I called my local high school to see if I could enroll back in and start right where I left off. According to the senior counsellor, who was an extremely kind lady that answered all of my questions and even pulled up my transcript to discuss my schedule if I do do decide to come back, I can. It’s apparently not too late because I’m under 21.

If God is real, how do I become close to Him? There are only three things I want to do at this very moment: get psychiatric help (even if it alters my future), graduate high school, and, if He truly is real, become closer to God. I honestly don’t know what to start, how to start, or when to start.

Also, should I enroll back in high school? Someone mentioned Job Corps to me to finish my high school diploma, but I’m not so sure. I took the GED in December 2013 and passed everything but the Mathematics portion of the test.

Please help. I feel so lost, so alone, so unloved. I get called crazy every time I try to talk about my problems… even though I try my absolute best to always lend a hand.

Thank you so much for reading this. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

-Paul
Click to expand...
I’m so sorry you’ve been through all of this. That sounds awful. I’d like to echo what the posters above have said- please seek help. I know you know this already, but it is very important that you get a diagnosis and figure out what all of your problems may be. Your health is not something you can ignore. :nope:

Until then, though, know that you are in my prayers. It’s very difficult dealing with mental illness, especially when people don’t believe that you’re ill at all. Rest assured, no matter what happens, God loves you, and the posters on this forum seem to care about you, too. That’s at least a few people who want you to take care of yourself, right? 🙂

As far as the existence of God goes, I think I would start with getting to know Jesus. He’s the foundation of our faith, so I would say you should start with the gospels. You can start with any of them, but if you want a recommendation, I’d say Matthew is a good introduction. (Though the first few paragraphs are a genealogy- don’t be discouraged!)

There’s nothing wrong with praying even if you’re not sure God exists- the important thing is that you’re looking for the truth. He’s not going to be upset just because you haven’t figured it out yet. 🙂

God be with you, brother. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about anything. :hug1:
 
Paul,

I’m so sorry for what you have gone through, but I am glad you’re reaching out. I have a few dear friends on the spectrum, and I know how hard it can be to seek out help in others.

Do you have the option to do an online high school? It might help you avoid the social anxiety and allow you to complete your degree in peace 🙂

As for God, I would start with reading Philippians. It’s a quick and easy book of the bible to read, and I think you might appreciate the fact that it reads quite like an instruction manual of how to live a Christian life.
 
ZeroJinraikyaku said:
I don’t know if this is in the right section, but I am in need of someone to talk to.

Okay, so this is going to be a semi-long post. Bear with me, please. Anyway, here you go:

Firstly, let’s start with my name. My name is Paul, and I am an atheist. I am 19-years-old. I am also an undiagnosed autistic (Aspergers). Honestly, I vehemently hate myself with an unfathomable passion. I hate every single thing about myself, especially the way I am neurologically wired and how I’m a compulsive liar. I cannot stop lying whatsoever. It makes me hate myself even more because I myself do not like being liked to. Also, I can’t handle anything, not even everyday social interaction. My social anxiety is so intense, eye-contact is so painful (it feels like an array of needles poking my eyes, causing me to feel inevitably and undeniably nauseous) that it makes every single day a fight to want to live, and I can’t take it anymore. My overall anxiety intensifies as I get older, causing me to always feel as though I am about to vomit nonstop. I contemplate suicide on a day-to-day basis, always want to self-mutilate (note: I do not self-harm, it’s just a never-ending battle to want to do so), and cry literally every single day. I am honestly not happy at all anymore. I can’t even remember a time when I was completely happy, to be honest with you and, since I’m now second-guessing myself, God. Is God real? I’ve denied His existence for quite some time now, never second-guessed myself and questioned until recently.

Secondly, allow me to go further into detail about some of the problems I’ve been having throughout what was my high school years. I was homeschooled my entire life all the way until 2010, the year I started 9th-grade. Unfortunately, I dropped out of high school, a decision I wholeheartedly regret, in May 2012, the end of my sophomore year due to severe social anxiety, mood swings (honestly, I’m starting to think I was and still am bipolar), and constant academic pressure. I was doing quite well prior to dropping out, making decent grades in both Pre-AP English 10 and AP European History apart from failing Algebra I twice, another reason as to why I dropped out. Sadly, I cracked. I regret it. I regret not speaking up. Lastly, I regret not talking to a guidance counsellor about my internal problems.

Today, out of curiosity, I called my local high school to see if I could enroll back in and start right where I left off. According to the senior counsellor, who was an extremely kind lady that answered all of my questions and even pulled up my transcript to discuss my schedule if I do do decide to come back, I can. It’s apparently not too late because I’m under 21.

If God is real, how do I become close to Him? There are only three things I want to do at this very moment: get psychiatric help (even if it alters my future), graduate high school, and, if He truly is real, become closer to God. I honestly don’t know what to start, how to start, or when to start.

Also, should I enroll back in high school? Someone mentioned Job Corps to me to finish my high school diploma, but I’m not so sure. I took the GED in December 2013 and passed everything but the Mathematics portion of the test.

Please help. I feel so lost, so alone, so unloved. I get called crazy every time I try to talk about my problems… even though I try my absolute best to always lend a hand.

Thank you so much for reading this. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

-Paul
Click to expand...
Son: my daughter had Asperger’s complicated by serious mental illness and took her life. She was compulsively worrying about why she could not go to college, get a job, go out into the world…just as you are. Know this, and know it WELL, and THINK about it: if you take your life, you will destroy your mother.

You don’t have to believe in God. God believes in you. That’s why you’re posting here. You are looking for an answer YOU ALREADY HAVE. Seek psychiatric help, medication and therapy. There are MANY people with Asperger’s who live full lives. Psychiatric testing and evaluation can tell you if there are complications but LIFE is given us, we did not earn it. ALL LIFE suffers, no one lives in a storybook. God had taken you here: now you do the rest. Find a large teaching hospital. Check into the ER. Seek help.
 
It seems too me, dear person, that the first thing you should do (besides ask for God to help you) is get yourself some help for your mental and possible neurological issues and anxiety before you attempt to go back to a public school. From what you have described, putting yourself into such a setting , which necessarily involves a lot of social interaction, without any treatment or support , might be a recipe for disaster. Your admitted suicidal tendencies are something that really should be considered a medical emergency, and my advice is to get help NOW. You are in my prayers.
 
I will be praying for you, Paul.
If you are looking for God, that means that God is looking for you.
May God bless you and keep you, make his face shine on you, and give you peace.
 
**Blessed Mother, please intercede for us.
Hold the sorrowful, strengthen the fearful,
mother and love the weary, abused, neglected
or forgotten among us,
give your aid to all needing help or healing,
assist those who are sick, in pain or suffering,
be with those needing peace,
console the lonely or brokenhearted,
comfort the lost or hopeless,
guard the unborn,
pray for those who are dying or who have died,
soften those with hardened hearts,
enlighten those who do not yet see truth,
help us be brave enough to let our hurt and anger go,
show us the way to do the right thing,
protect those who are in danger,
and guide us from every evil.
May all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen :gopray: **
 
Your story is similar to that of someone whom I love very much. I have no advice, I’m sure other posters will handle that, but know that I am saying a prayer for you and this other person right now. I hope you can find a good solution for each of your struggles. It may be hard since you find yourself questioning, but in all things, cling to God. If it’s easier, perhaps appeal to Mary and ask her to intercede on your behalf.

I hope you can find peace.
 
Paul,

I was very moved by your story. Know that we here at CAF are praying for you and wish you the best.

I agree with everybody who advised you to seek professional help. Ask your family doctor if they can refer you to a psychiatrist and a counselor. (I suspect you’ll need both - a psychiatrist to give you an official diagnosis and meds if necessary and a counselor to help you develop strategies to deal with your anxiety.) Going back to school is a wonderful goal, but if you’re going to succeed at this goal, first you need to get your emotional problems in check.

One prayer that has helped me when I’m frightened is the Breath Prayer. “Oh Lord Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” Say (or think) the first six words as you breath in and the rest of the words as you breathe out.

Please come back and let us know how you are doing.
 
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