Point of using NFP to avoid pregnancy

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Ilovejesus1234 said:
I do have a normal sex drive as any person but i am just having trouble understanding all this…why does the church say it is ok to have sex during a womans infertile cycle, i get the reason should be serious but why is it ok to do so? if again the basis should be always being open to life
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Do you understand who God is?

Mary was a virgin and she produced a child…Jesus!

You can be in your infertile period and open to life, the same way Mary was a virgin and was open to life and Gods will for her to produce a son.
 
It isn’t abnormal to have a low sex drive.

So actually you are asking, why does the Church allow NFP?
 
Ilovejesus1234 said:
Just please don’t be rude as well, i just want to have a calm conversation, though you answered my question i don’t understand why the answer would be that…
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another poster suggested that you read “Theology of the Body”. That would be my suggestion too. A number of posters have already made suggestions and given reasons. Now it’s up to you to learn and stop being stuck on this.
 
Lookingforjoy said:
Think of it this way…my family has dinner together for two reasons…to stifle our hunger, and to spend time together and bond as a family. Even if I worked late and wasn’t hungry when I came home, I would still sit down with my husband and kids to talk and share time as a family. The bonding is as important as satisfying hunger.

Sex has two purposes…creating new life and bringing spouses together. Even if I’m not fertile or in a position to have a baby, I still go with my husband to bond with him. If you’re only 19 and have been chaste this whole time you might not realize how much sex can bring spouses closer, but it can in a very real way. The bonding is as important as creating new life.
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Op is also not considering menopause in the equation.
 
God has relieved you of a very common vice if you ONLY want to have sex when trying to have a baby. Wow. Have you never wanted to have sex because you wanted I have sex or because you yearn deep in your soul I have as much of your beloved as physically and emotionally possible?

I’m not understanding how this question is possible.
 
Well i just had it for the wrong intentions when i was going through a bad time as far as morality, and i never experienced true making love…also i am just confused that if it is ok to have sex for unitive purposes but having the intention of procreative be a possiblity.

So lets say i get married and decide not to use nfp and make love whenever i want with my wife as long as i am respectful, but later on i hit lets say an economic road bump and i cannot afford to have another child, but i still want to make love to my spouse, with the possiblity of her also getting pregnant…this is where i am stuck…if i don’t really want her to get pregnant right now but still leave the intention of it open to god for a possible way that it could happen and would still obviously welcome it(knowing that this is a message from god saying"i will support you economically, enjoy your new child") is that fine.

If i want to make love but have the intention of her not getting pregnant at the moment due to economic concerns,in my heart… but still be welcoming a child if god thinks i can support it. Is that ok?

Also give me other examples where i would have a strong reason to avoid pregnancy (social, economic and physical)

Sorry if this doesnt make sense at all i am just writing my thoughts in text pretty much.
 
For starters, please read this section of the catechism which outlines the key teachings in this area, from 2360 onwards:

vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a6.htm

Sex isn’t merely for making babies. God’s design is that it unites the spouses, and is a source of pleasure for them (yes - pleasure!). This remains true even when pregancy is not possible, or when pregancy is to be avoided for serious reasons.
 
Ilovejesus1234 said:
Well i just had it for the wrong intentions when i was going through a bad time as far as morality, and i never experienced true making love…also i am just confused that if it is ok to have sex for unitive purposes but having the intention of procreative be a possiblity.

So lets say i get married and decide not to use nfp and make love whenever i want with my wife as long as i am respectful,

…easy there. Let’s add in, “and as long as she wants to, too.” Your hypothetical future wife gets some say in this, too.

but later on i hit lets say an economic road bump and i cannot afford to have another child, but i still want to make love to my spouse, with the possiblity of her also getting pregnant…this is where i am stuck…if i don’t really want her to get pregnant right now but still leave the intention of it open to god for a possible way that it could happen and would still obviously welcome it(knowing that this is a message from god saying"i will support you economically, enjoy your new child") is that fine.

If i want to make love but have the intention of her not getting pregnant at the moment due to economic concerns,in my heart… but still be welcoming a child if god thinks i can support it. Is that ok?

Yes.

Also give me other examples where i would have a strong reason to avoid pregnancy (social, economic and physical)

Sorry if this doesnt make sense at all i am just writing my thoughts in text pretty much.
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There are lots of reasons. Here are some (others may disagree):
  1. One or both of you is studying, and there’s a good chance that pregnancy and early parenthood would prevent you from finishing.
  2. One or both of you has a mental illness and doesn’t feel up to parenting.
  3. The wife is on medication that is dangerous to a developing fetus.
  4. You’re dealing with unemployment.
  5. The wife is getting up in years and there is a high risk of miscarriage or chromosomal abnormality (which can, of course, cause death if the abnormality is serious enough).
  6. The wife has a serious chronic illness (for instance type 1 diabetes or a heart condition).
  7. The existing children have you spread to the breaking point.
  8. The wife has had serious pregnancy complications in the past.
Etc., etc.
 
Ilovejesus1234 said:
If i want to make love but have the intention of her not getting pregnant at the moment due to economic concerns,in my heart… but still be welcoming a child if god thinks i can support it. Is that ok?
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Yes, that is fine. You are trying to avoid, but still open to life.

Also, the church doesn’t give a list of reasons to try to avoid conception. It is something that the couple must discern together. Some couples discern monthly. Something that may seem like a serious reason for one couple may not be a big deal to another. There is no list of church approved reasons to strictly use NFP.
 
So i can make love to my spouse for unitive purposes, for so and so years… and also be open to life as a possibilty if lets say my wife has… this is just an example i don’t know if this condition exists… if she cannot make eggs anymore
 
Ilovejesus1234 said:
So i can make love to my spouse for unitive purposes, for so and so years… and also be open to life as a possibilty if lets say my wife has… this is just an example i don’t know if this condition exists… if she cannot make eggs anymore
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When your wife becomes menopausal, she won’t be able to produce children. She won’t have a menstrual cycle, no fertile period. You can still have sex with her. Again, I am a 25 year old infertile woman and the church is A-ok with me having sex with my husband. Every single night, if we wanted to.
 
KendraDZ1902 said:
When your wife becomes menopausal, she won’t be able to produce children. She won’t have a menstrual cycle, no fertile period. You can still have sex with her. Again, I am a 25 year old infertile woman and the church is A-ok with me having sex with my husband. Every single night, if we wanted to.
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just remember about self control though that is what nfp is made for(basically it is one of the many reasons why it is used)
 
Ilovejesus1234 said:
just remember about self control though that is what nfp is made for(basically it is one of the many reasons why it is used)
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I’ve been controlling myself for months now and still have a couple more to go. Totally have control covered. 👍

We don’t have to practice NFP. I have no signs of fertility. You can’t chart fertile/non fertile days when there is nothing to chart. 🤷

I think you should be more concerned with you not understanding church teaching on sex in general before you tell others what to do in the bedroom.

Sex every night would be exhausting for one and I wouldn’t have sex when I’m on my period. I was just trying to make a point.
 
Ilovejesus1234 said:
just remember about self control though that is what nfp is made for(basically it is one of the many reasons why it is used)
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🤷

This comment is strange and I think out of line.

By your own admission, your understanding of the Church’s teaching on sex is limited. I’d stick to trying to understand it better before trying to admonish others.
 
Ilovejesus1234 said:
What is the point of having sex during a woman’s infertile periods, i know there should be reasons to use NFP, especially if a couple is having social, economic, and phsyical problems…and they absolutley cannot raise a child in correct conditions. But what would be the point of having sex during a woman’s infertile periods if you are not having a baby…I don’t get it…

Can someone help me… 😦
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Sex is fun, that’s why. Husbands and Wives enjoy it.

Don’t be so serious, there should be some simple joys in life for loving spouses.
 
Okay i understand and i am just copying what was in the bible not assuming church teaching
 
Country_Gal said:
If you want Biblical reference, the Songs of Solomon are famous for exalting the marital bed.
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i already know about it, i was just saying when making love just have self control and temperance. Thats it. I’m not trying to judge or assume or be hostile i am just saying what i have been taught as a catholic
 
Ilovejesus1234 said:
i already know about it, i was just saying when making love just have self control and temperance. Thats it. I’m not trying to judge or assume or be hostile i am just saying what i have been taught as a catholic
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You only want to have sex when your wife is fertile. I was just pointing out that isn’t church teaching. The Church doesn’t say that you have to have sex while fertile, or nothing at all. You can have sex any day and it would be fine. If you want to avoid children, I would suggest that your wife chooses some type of NFP and follow it closely. If you don’t care one way or the other, don’t chart and just let things happen. If you are seriously trying to conceive I would also suggest your wife chart so she will know when she is fertile.

There are many times in a woman’s life where she can’t have children. Be it during non fertile days, being pregnant already, breastfeeding, menopause, having a hysterectomy, or just being infertile. The Church has no rule/law saying that these women cannot have sex with their husbands. Like it or not, I’m pretty sure that the church isn’t going to change their minds on this.
And most people will want to practice the marital embrace more often than just when they want a child. You shouldn’t deny your spouse this bonding time.

Also, men can have infertility issues too.
 
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