Politics of friendship

[on_the_hill]

Here’s a deep theogical question.

Imagine an 11 year old girl. Her regular best friends are either on vacation or busy with their families. She is bored and eventually find something to keep herself entertained. Let’s call her “A”.

You are one of A’s friends. Not a regular friend but you have fun together. Would you be more upset if A called you to play because you’re her last resort, or would you be more upset if she didn’t call you but chose to stay home alone rather than call?

As I said, deeply theological.

 

[Kamaduck]

Here’s a deep theogical question.

Imagine an 11 year old girl. Her regular best friends are either on vacation or busy with their families. She is bored and eventually find something to keep herself entertained. Let’s call her “A”.

You are one of A’s friends. Not a regular friend but you have fun together. Would you be more upset if A called you to play because you’re her last resort, or would you be more upset if she didn’t call you but chose to stay home alone rather than call?

As I said, deeply theological.

How would I know that A called me as a last resort? I don’t think I would think that hard about it if she didn’t volunteer the information, as long as we were in fact friends.

I think most people are happy to be called over to play, even if they decide to decline in the end.

 

[Baelor]

You are one of A’s friends. Not a regular friend but you have fun together. Would you be more upset if A called you to play because you’re her last resort, or would you be more upset if she didn’t call you but chose to stay home alone rather than call?

If A only ever called me as a last resort, I would know where the friendship stood. One instance does not a pattern make.

Why would I be offended if someone stayed home alone? I stay home alone frequently instead of doing things with friends. They are my friends, so they understand that I like having alone time.

 

[jmcrae]

Here’s a deep theogical question.

Imagine an 11 year old girl. Her regular best friends are either on vacation or busy with their families. She is bored and eventually find something to keep herself entertained. Let’s call her “A”.

You are one of A’s friends. Not a regular friend but you have fun together. Would you be more upset if A called you to play because you’re her last resort, or would you be more upset if she didn’t call you but chose to stay home alone rather than call?

As I said, deeply theological.

When I was 11 years old, such complex ideas never found their way into my head. If someone called me to play, I decided based on whether I had had fun with them last time we played together (and the sincerity of their apology, if things went totally sideways the last time we played together), but it didn’t occur to me to wonder how long ago that was, actually.

Sometimes I played with people I barely knew because it was convenient for my mother that I do so.

 

[PatriceA]

Here’s a deep theogical question.

Imagine an 11 year old girl. Her regular best friends are either on vacation or busy with their families. She is bored and eventually find something to keep herself entertained. Let’s call her “A”.

You are one of A’s friends. Not a regular friend but you have fun together. Would you be more upset if A called you to play because you’re her last resort, or would you be more upset if she didn’t call you but chose to stay home alone rather than call?

As I said, deeply theological.

At 11 years old, especially with girls, friendships ebb and flow. Being a “last resort” could very will be the initial opportunity for a friendship that grows and lasts throughout high school and college.

Like someone already mentioned, it would be different if one was ALWAYS the last resort, but for the situation you mentioned, it could be a great beginning!

 

[Joy2day]

I agree with Kamaduck. The question assumes a lot of knowledge that would normally not be known - eg. that A was home alone and didn’t call, and then that A was calling as a ‘last resort’. This information could only be known with certainty if A actually communicated this to the 11 year old girl. Unless the 11 year old girl has full knowledge of A’s movements at all times…? Further, it seems unlikely that A would communicate these things - eg if A said to the 11 year old girl that there had been times when A had been home alone and did not want to spend time with the 11 year old girl, and further that this time was only as a ‘last resort’.

I don’t think this situation would naturally occur.