POLL FOR GIRLS: What is/was most important to you in selecting a spouse?

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Hermione

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This is the equivalent of the poll for guys šŸ™‚ Thanks for voting in it! Hmm, I didnā€™t include faith on purpose because I thought everyone would choose it and all the other options would be at 0ā€¦

but now I regret my decision!

GRRR I canā€™t make good polls! šŸ˜¦
 
Although lots of things went into my choice, I decided that it had to be someone I respected and admired enough (which covers many good points, Iā€™ll admit) that I would be willing to do things his way, even if I thought he was wrong at the time. That was the absolute non-negotiable.
 
I fell in love with his hands. He has the most amazing hands, and the things he does with themā€¦

Oh, stop thinking dirty thoughts. Heā€™s a magician and a pretty good piano player.
 
Similar goals- we both wanted a family and mom home with the kids. Also, heā€™s a great Mr. Fix It. My dad could fix anything and I grew up never having had a repair man in the house. I always knew I wanted to marry someone who could fix things! (my 16 yr old son now jokes that he wants to marry a girl who can fix things!!) ā€”KCT
 
For me it was his sense of humor. I know whatever life throws us, we will laugh through it together. He is very easy to cheer up, and he always tries to make me laugh. I love him so much! (Humor wasnā€™t one of the choices, but he is also a hunkā€¦so I chose that one šŸ‘ )
 
I canā€™t answer this because it wasnā€™t one thing, initially. It was (and is) the entire package. I know that is a cliche but it is true.

I, like the male poster from the other thread, preferred for him to meet at least some of my specifications of a ā€œdream guyā€ because, after all, I was hoping Iā€™d be looking at that face for a long time to come.

I also wanted a man who met certain personality expectations. This included being kind, funny, considerate, faithful, a good Catholic, from a large family, and hardworking. Others may have had different expectations or hopes; those were just my own.

I think itā€™s silly to say that women are ā€œaboveā€ men or morally superior because they are not (as) focused on physical attraction. We are ALL attracted to superficial characteristics at first, because that is all we know of the person at firstā€“what is on the surface.

I see nothing wrong with the other poster detailing out his dream woman characteristics, although I do think he spends a tad too much time pondering physical beauty. I think when he meets the girl who intrigues him so much that he canā€™t stop thinking about her, he will cease to be focused on physical beauty and will naturally turn towards her inner beauty. As we all did, when discovering our spouses.

By the way, I just want to add that my husband far exceeded my hopes and dreamsā€“he is everything on my old list and more!

And no he has not retained his physical beauty perfectlyā€“he is almost bald now and has lost tons of muscle mass due to his switch to an office job. Itā€™s not that I donā€™t careā€¦I really DID find him terribly attractive with big muscles and hair (lol) but it is part of life. He keeps himself as attractive as he can be right now and Iā€™m sure when our little ones are older he will get back in shape. So in the end it is about being the best spouse we can be to each other, given the limitations of our current lifestyle. So, yeah, Iā€™d have a problem with him being obeseā€“in my opinion that is disrespectful not only to his body but to our marital relationship as well.

I have really veered off topic. I meant to say that I valued many things when becoming interested in him and they all blended together to be one huge flashing sign in my brain saying, CHOOSE HIM!!
 
For me it was character. Before I met my husband I dated a guy who unbeknownst to me was dating five of us at the same time and he was engaged to one of the five. You should have seen his face when we all showed up at his door. It looked something like this :bigyikes: After that, I vowed never to date anyone I could not trust to be faithful. Character was important because while I do not believe in divorce, I do believe in death :rolleyes:
 
Iā€™m with deacons wifeā€¦ Iā€™m looking for character. It seems to me that if you have character everything else follows:

honor
respect
level headed thinking
love
commitment
religion

(not necessarily in that order)

And the lady who mentioned handsā€¦ I agree there too. Not in a sexual way either! šŸ˜› There is a lot to be seen in a manā€™s hands.
UNDER a spreading chestnut-tree
The village smithy stands;
The smith, a mighty man is he,
With large and sinewy hands;
And the muscles of his brawny arms
Are strong as iron bands.
Click to expand...
His hair is crisp, and black, and long,
His face is like the tan;
His brow is wet with honest sweat,
He earns whateā€™er he can,
And looks the whole world in the face,
For he owes not any man.
Click to expand...
Week in, week out, from morn till night,
You can hear his bellows blow;
You can hear him swing his heavy sledge,
With measured beat and slow,
Like a sexton ringing the village bell,
When the evening sun is low.
Click to expand...
And children coming home from school
Look in at the open door;
They love to see the flaming forge,
And hear the bellows roar,
And catch the burning sparks that fly
Like chaff from a threshing-floor.
Click to expand...
He goes on Sunday to the church,
And sits among his boys;
He hears the parson pray and preach,
He hears his daughterā€™s voice,
Singing in the village choir,
And it makes his heart rejoice.
Click to expand...
It sounds to him like her motherā€™s voice,
Singing in Paradise!
He needs must think of her once more,
How in the grave she lies;
And with his hard, rough hand he wipes
A tear out of his eyes.
Click to expand...
Toiling,ā€”rejoicing,ā€”sorrowing,
Onward through life he goes;
Each morning sees some task begin,
Each evening sees it close;
Something attempted, something done,
Has earned a nightā€™s repose.
Click to expand...
Thanks, thanks to thee, my worthy friend,
For the lesson thou hast taught!
Thus at the flaming forge of life
Our fortunes must be wrought;
Thus on its sounding anvil shaped
Each burning deed and thought.
Click to expand...
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Click to expand...
 
I also looked for character. I had been burned by guys who cheated and faithfulness was very important to me, as well as stability. After that, desiring children and wanting a stay at home mother for them was high up, and finally a good sense of humor.

Lucky for me, I found him! And, even though faith was not on my list, thankfully it is a big part of our lives now.

God Bless,
Nicole
 
I did not vote, as none of these were the most important when I chose my husband. I chose my husband because he is the smartest man I have ever met in my life AND most importantly, he is smart enough to know that all gifts come from God. He brought me to the faith, and hopefully, we can bring each other and our children to heaven.
 
when I was still single and searching for a husband the things that were most important to me in a man were first that he was a strong Catholic, second that he was very intelligent, and third that he valued intelligence and ambition in his wife (sadly, many ā€œgood catholicsā€ I met did not value this last thing - some outright had contempt for it). I was very lucky to meet such a man and marry him.
 
I voted for How he shares your interests with you However on a scale from 1 to 5 it ranks the lowest:
  1. Faith
  2. Character
  3. Physical Appearance
  4. Intelligence
  5. Shares the sames interests
    and as anoother poster stated ā€¦handsā€¦strong and good.
 
I didnā€™t vote either because none really fit. I never dated a guy until my husband (minus 1 blind date with a brother of one of my friends boyfriends that didnā€™t work out.)

I got the impression when guys would come talk to me and my my friends (this is highschool) they giving me a bunch of pick up lines and going out of their way to act ā€œcoolā€. Complete turn off. And I didnā€™t trust guys like that.

So anyway I met my husband at a local park when I was walking there with a friend of mine. I recognized him from school although we had never talked (it was a very big highschool). Him and his friend came and talk to us. Dating him was the furthest thing from my mind. But there was a connection. Itā€™s the same kind of connection I felt when I met my bestfriend when we were 13, (weā€™re still bestfriends 19 years later). Itā€™s hard to put into words.

He wasnā€™t going out of his way to impress me, and he wasnā€™t cocky. The funny thing is when my friend and I left the park that day I said to her ā€œMy parentsā€™s would kill me if I brought home a guy like that.ā€ Because of his outward appearance. Motorcycle jacket complete with spikes, ripped jeans, skull rings on his fingers, and long hair. Yikes! At the time I thought he was an average looking guy as far as attactiveness goes.

So how did we go from friends to dating? I trusted him and he always treated me with respect. He has a very good heart even if he didnā€™t always use his head.

Well when I did ā€œbring this guy homeā€ after hanging out as friends in school my mom says ā€œHe looks like a nice boyā€:eek: Donā€™t ask me how she came up with that, but I guess his personality comes through.

Now if youā€™d asked me how attractive my husband is, Iā€™d say heā€™s the hottest thing around. Even hotter than Jon Bon Jovi (and thatā€™s saying alot!) Honestly I think he has grown more handsome with age (not that he was bad looking before), but I also think as my love has grown deeper through the years he is more attractive not just for how he looks but who he is.

Now, whatā€™s important? Trust, honesty, sensitivety, respect,self sacrifice. And some of those are things we had to learn as we ā€œgrew upā€ together. I married him when I was 18, so we had alot of growing up to do. It was very hard at times. Do I have regrets for following my heart and not my head - not for a moment. I adore my husband! :love:
 
  1. Respect my decision to wait for marriage.
  2. My be Not like my father.
  3. Religious, adhere to Church teachings.
  4. Then funny, charming, sweet, thoughtful and all that jazz.
 
  1. Must respect my decision to wait for marriage.
  2. Must be Not like my father.
  3. Religious, adhere to Church teachings.
  4. Then funny, charming, sweet, thoughtful and all that jazz.
 
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