Poor confessions?

[jam3andy]

Twice in the span of my last 3 or 4 confessions, the priest (two different priests at my parish) have responded in a way that has me wondering if I am making poor confessions.

On one occasion, during a pause of mine trying to tell my sins, the priest said ‘just tell me your sins’.

On the second occasion, after completing telling my sins, there was what seemed like an awkward silence for a few seconds and the priest blurted out ‘act of contrition’. I was thrown off by this response as it’s been my experience in roughly monthly confessions over the last 3-4 years for the priest (even this priest) to offer some words after I complete my confession. Perhaps my imagination, but I got the feeling by his manner and words that there was some problem with my confession. He repeated ‘act of contrition’ and I finally caught on and made my act of contrition. The priest advised me of my penance, said a prayer of absolution and that was it. I left the confessional feeling like I’d done something wrong.

Am I making something out of nothing?

 

[PaulfromIowa]

On one occasion, during a pause of mine trying to tell my sins, the priest said ‘just tell me your sins’.

Were you offering unnecessary details or narrative? We are to confess sins in kind and number.

On the second occasion, after completing telling my sins, there was what seemed like an awkward silence for a few seconds and the priest blurted out ‘act of contrition’. I was thrown off by this response as it’s been my experience in roughly monthly confessions over the last 3-4 years for the priest (even this priest) to offer some words after I complete my confession.

How was he to know that you were done confessing? It is normal to end one’s confession with a brief act of contrition.

 

[pianistclare]

There’s really no way to know, and you shouldn’t tell us what you said anyway that may have put them off. I suggest this:
Go to a different parish, make an appointment with a priest and say frankly:
*Father, I feel like maybe I need help with the way I make my confession. Would you please hear my confession and let me know if anything is amiss? *

 

[57classic]

There’s really no way to know, and you shouldn’t tell us what you said anyway that may have put them off. I suggest this:
Go to a different parish, make an appointment with a priest and say frankly:
*Father, I feel like maybe I need help with the way I make my confession. Would you please hear my confession and let me know if anything is amiss? *

Yes!

Also remember, even though the priest is acting as Christ in the confessional, he is still a human being and every human being has a bad day occasionally. You get the confessor of the day. When you have a serious need to talk it’s probably not a good idea to go to Saturday afternoon confession where there may be several people in line.

Do you ever consider that Father has to ponder his own failings when it comes to confession-- how many times a priest must kick himself mentally for all the things he could have said but didn’t. Some priests are gifted preachers but are truly lacking in the confessional, others are great confessors but don’t work well with the elderly/sick/young, take your pick. They are doing a huge job, if you need more, make an appointment for confession and express your need for guidance.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I agree with the advice of pianistclare.

In my experience, the priest says “Just tell me your sins” when the person may be rambling or going on too long and the priest wants to cut to the chase, perhaps because he is on a schedule or thinks other people may be waiting.

Also, when I finish with telling my sins, I usually say something like “That’s everything for now” so the priest knows I’m ready to go to the next step. Sometimes he’ll offer advice and sometimes he will just say make the act of contrition. I suspect this priest was just moving to the “act of contrition” step but it may have come off as abrupt to you.

 

[Mary_Ellen]

Going into to much detail can make the confession cumbersome and may illicit the response you received from your priest in the first instance.

I usually end my list of confessed sins with something like “For these and for all the sins of my past life I am truly sorry.” This indicates to the priest that I am done, and contrite. This would have taken care of the second instance you wrote about.

If these problems continue for you, you may wish to take pianistclaire’s advice into consideration and make an appointment with a priest.

Be at peace.

 

[JRS_88]

I usually end my list of confessed sins with something like “For these and for all the sins of my past life I am truly sorry.” This indicates to the priest that I am done, and contrite. This would have taken care of the second instance you wrote about.

I do this, too.

 

[brian_custer]

i have always felt that the simpler (and quicker) you make your confession, the better; especially if there are people waiting in line behind you

ps i agree you should meet w/ your priest privately to discuss this

 

[Bruised_Reed]

Here is a link to a guide for confession, including examination of conscience, and a “script” to follow. If there is a better resource I hope someone will link it.

I’ve heard different things that some people do before,during, and after confession that might make things awkward; for example someone who speaks at conferences or writes for Catholic publications said when he went to confession after his examination of conscience but before he enters the confessional he prays the Act of Contrition. Nothing wrong with that. But if I do the same when I go to confession, and I’m prompted to Pray the Act of Contrition, I can make it awkward and say, “I already did that” or I can just pray it again.

Ask for guidance from the priest. When I had been away from the sacrament for a while I asked the priest for help and he walked me through the process.