poor kid!

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Like Island Oak, I came from a family where one parent (my dad) was overweight and non active, and one parent (mom) was slender, athletic and active. My mom was so obsessed by weight and looks that I have a sister with anorexia. I on the other hand was the “fat” one which is really funny considering that most of my adult life I was 124 lbs or under and 5 foot 7 inches. My parents did give me the benefit of healthy foods, and despite their unhealthy attitudes, I thank them for teaching me to eat properly and stay active.

On the other hand, I have 3 children and a step child now and my husband is a bit overweight. My oldest and youngest are skinny, almost too skinny. My middle child and step are both overweight. I recognize that I eat out more than my parents did, not by choice but out of necessity. As a single mom, I had to work, show up at athletic events, attend school functions, etc… There wasn’t always time to cook nutritious meals every night. My middle child is only slightly overweight and isn’t done growing yet so I don’t really worry about it too much. I have just cut back some of the unneccessary calories and fats in his diet and it seems to be working. My step on the otherhand, is very overweight at 11 yo. As is her mother and step dad and more recently her little sister gained a whole bunch of weight. I can’t control it because she doesn’t live with us. The only thing I can do is provide good food when she is with us, which I do. It makes me so sad and mad when she comes over and tells us that kids call her SUMO because she is fat.

Overweight kids aren’t to blame for their weight. I feel sorry for this kid. He is going to be teased and tormented by other kids. He is never going to be able to compete in athletics at the same level as his peers. If he doesn’t have a medical problem, he has or will have an emotional one! I see it all the time with my step… it is a vicious cycle. She eats because she is unhappy or bored, then she has less friends and kids tease her because of her weight or because she can’t keep up with them. So then she gets depressed about it and eats some more, making herself even bigger, and alienating herself even more… so she eats… and so on and so on and so on…
 
Like Island Oak, I came from a family where one parent (my dad) was overweight and non active, and one parent (mom) was slender, athletic and active. My mom was so obsessed by weight and looks that I have a sister with anorexia. I on the other hand was the “fat” one which is really funny considering that most of my adult life I was 124 lbs or under and 5 foot 7 inches. My parents did give me the benefit of healthy foods, and despite their unhealthy attitudes, I thank them for teaching me to eat properly and stay active.

On the other hand, I have 3 children and a step child now and my husband is a bit overweight. My oldest and youngest are skinny, almost too skinny. My middle child and step are both overweight. I recognize that I eat out more than my parents did, not by choice but out of necessity. As a single mom, I had to work, show up at athletic events, attend school functions, etc… There wasn’t always time to cook nutritious meals every night. My middle child is only slightly overweight and isn’t done growing yet so I don’t really worry about it too much. I have just cut back some of the unneccessary calories and fats in his diet and it seems to be working. My step on the otherhand, is very overweight at 11 yo. As is her mother and step dad and more recently her little sister gained a whole bunch of weight. I can’t control it because she doesn’t live with us. The only thing I can do is provide good food when she is with us, which I do. It makes me so sad and mad when she comes over and tells us that kids call her SUMO because she is fat.

Overweight kids aren’t to blame for their weight. I feel sorry for this kid. He is going to be teased and tormented by other kids. He is never going to be able to compete in athletics at the same level as his peers. If he doesn’t have a medical problem, he has or will have an emotional one! I see it all the time with my step… it is a vicious cycle. She eats because she is unhappy or bored, then she has less friends and kids tease her because of her weight or because she can’t keep up with them. So then she gets depressed about it and eats some more, making herself even bigger, and alienating herself even more… so she eats… and so on and so on and so on…
And her father your DH can not do something about this situation with his daughter?
Perhaps get her into counseling before this becomes an even BIGGER issue?
 
And then there’s people like me who eat all the time, really love chocolate and spent a whole weekend eating fast food while staying in Pittsburgh (because well…it’s FAST and we were tired) and just don’t gain weight. 5’0, 95lbs, still have yet to break 100. My goal is to make it to 110 by the time I graduate from college. I guess I just have a fast metabolism or maybe it’s because I eat a lot throughout the day.

I will say one thing about what I’ve noticed. A lot of Duquesne students aren’t overweight, and in watching what they eat, it’s embarrassing how much healthier they are with their choices (I go to a school with a lot of kids in medical related majors). When we inevitably get into the discussion about weight, I do find out that with most of them, their parents never really gave them an opportunity to become overweight, they grew up eating healthy foods, and it continued into college. I would NOT have expected that. Believe me, I think I’m one of only a handful of people who actually drinks soda (I still haven’t been able to get into drinking plain water). Although I have gotten into blueberry tea a lot (too bad I can’t find it out in Pittsburgh and have to go home to buy it).
 
I heard a study recently, as reported by a radio talk show, (sorry can’t remember who) That found that children today were eating the same number of calories…without the excercise that their parents got…

Something to chew on;)
 
And then there’s people like me who eat all the time, really love chocolate and spent a whole weekend eating fast food while staying in Pittsburgh (because well…it’s FAST and we were tired) and just don’t gain weight. 5’0, 95lbs, still have yet to break 100. My goal is to make it to 110 by the time I graduate from college. I guess I just have a fast metabolism or maybe it’s because I eat a lot throughout the day.
Usually I’d say you suck. But it’s not your fault. 🙂

I have a co-worker like that. She is 22 and weighs under 100 pounds. She eats like crazy. But… she also has Crones Disease so she has to watch certain things.
 
And her father your DH can not do something about this situation with his daughter?
Perhaps get her into counseling before this becomes an even BIGGER issue?
Nope, her mother won’t cooperate and actually sabotages it when we try. It is a sad situation, her mother is a nurse and thinks she knows better than everyone including doctors. I sat her (DSD) down and talked to her many times about how we eat to nourish the body, not till all food in the house was gone etc… My DH’s mother also sabotages it by overindulging the child too… and telling her I am evil for limiting her food intake. I can’t win and neither can DSD.

This is already way too big an issue. The child is openly envious of anything my kids get and asks grandma for things that we won’t give her and of course grandma is happy to oblige… Food, toys, it doesn’t matter. It is all about feeling like she “has” everything she wants.

When she gets to my house she immediately starts whining about being hungry. We eat as soon as we get home and 2 hours later, she starts up again with the “I’m hungry” If I don’t give her stuff to eat she gives me dirty looks then sneaks into stuff. I love this child but she is way out of control.

She knew we wouldn’t get her something for her birthday that my 16 yo got for Christmas so she went to Grandma and asked her for an electric guitar, a paintball gun, and a slingshot…just like my son. I caught wind of it and called grandma and tried to explain that we would rather the child not receive such costly gifts and that since we (grandma included) don’t let her take presents to her mom’s house cause mom just punishes her with them or sells them in garage sales, and she isn’t over grandmas enough to justify spending that kind of cash… I also told her that she never mentioned these things until now because my son has them. So grandma called her mom and made sure she could take it home and totally circumvented us.
 
This is child abuse. Those children in the picture should be taken away from their parents.
People who say things like this scare me. TAKE THE CHILD AWAY?! Because you think they’re bad parents?!

That’s great… just remember, it could be YOUR children taken away, should somebody be put in charge who decides that YOUR parenting isn’t what they think it ought to be…
 
Nope, her mother won’t cooperate and actually sabotages it when we try. It is a sad situation, her mother is a nurse and thinks she knows better than everyone including doctors. I sat her (DSD) down and talked to her many times about how we eat to nourish the body, not till all food in the house was gone etc… My DH’s mother also sabotages it by overindulging the child too… and telling her I am evil for limiting her food intake. I can’t win and neither can DSD.

This is already way too big an issue. The child is openly envious of anything my kids get and asks grandma for things that we won’t give her and of course grandma is happy to oblige… Food, toys, it doesn’t matter. It is all about feeling like she “has” everything she wants.

When she gets to my house she immediately starts whining about being hungry. We eat as soon as we get home and 2 hours later, she starts up again with the “I’m hungry” If I don’t give her stuff to eat she gives me dirty looks then sneaks into stuff. I love this child but she is way out of control.

She knew we wouldn’t get her something for her birthday that my 16 yo got for Christmas so she went to Grandma and asked her for an electric guitar, a paintball gun, and a slingshot…just like my son. I caught wind of it and called grandma and tried to explain that we would rather the child not receive such costly gifts and that since we (grandma included) don’t let her take presents to her mom’s house cause mom just punishes her with them or sells them in garage sales, and she isn’t over grandmas enough to justify spending that kind of cash… I also told her that she never mentioned these things until now because my son has them. So grandma called her mom and made sure she could take it home and totally circumvented us.
How sad…it would seem that you and your dh are trying to do the right thing and coming upona brick wall at every turn.
Perhaps a call to the authorities would help resolve the issues or perhaps counseling (court mandated if the mom does not agree) is what this young girl needs!
 
People who say things like this scare me. TAKE THE CHILD AWAY?! Because you think they’re bad parents?!

That’s great… just remember, it could be YOUR children taken away, should somebody be put in charge who decides that YOUR parenting isn’t what they think it ought to be…
There are people who would decide who could take children away, it’s called Social Services. And they DO take children away from their parents if they have evidence they are being bad parents. They don’t take them away just because they *think *they are bad parents. (P.S. I don’t have children.)

What if this child had been smoking a cigarette? Would you, as an adult, want to step in? This is worse than putting a cigarette in that child’s mouth. Think about the major health problems those children will develop when they get older, sleep apnea, heart disease, blood clots, high blood pressure, the list goes on and on! Now, I have been chastised once for not knowing what REALLY is the problem here, but assuming that the childrens’ parents are just irresponsible and the kids do not have any health problems that make them fat, then this IS child abuse. The health of those children is being jeopardized by parents who do not care!

If I ever do anything to my children that warrants Social Services to take them from me, then so be it. Hopefully they wouldn’t do it because they think I am a bad parent, it will be because they KNOW I am a bad parent.
 
There are people who would decide who could take children away, it’s called Social Services. And they DO take children away from their parents if they have evidence they are being bad parents. They don’t take them away just because they *think *they are bad parents. (P.S. I don’t have children.)

What if this child had been smoking a cigarette? Would you, as an adult, want to step in? This is worse than putting a cigarette in that child’s mouth. Think about the major health problems those children will develop when they get older, sleep apnea, heart disease, blood clots, high blood pressure, the list goes on and on! Now, I have been chastised once for not knowing what REALLY is the problem here, but assuming that the childrens’ parents are just irresponsible and the kids do not have any health problems that make them fat, then this IS child abuse. The health of those children is being jeopardized by parents who do not care!

If I ever do anything to my children that warrants Social Services to take them from me, then so be it. Hopefully they wouldn’t do it because they think I am a bad parent, it will be because they KNOW I am a bad parent.
 
When I was young there was no Cartoon Network or Disney Channel. You watched a few cartoons when you came home from school and then there was nothing until Saturday morning. That was cartoon day!

If you don’t have tv to vegetate in front of then what do you do? You get bored. And when kids are allowed to get bored then they find ways to entertain themselves. I discovered books and writing but most kids were outside playing.

I was lucky though. I came from a time period when a lot of children were just beginning to be ‘latch key’ kids. Although my mother was single, I had a Grandma who watched us during the day, so that we could go outside and play.
 
The child did not wake up one morning weighing what he weighs. It happened over time and is something that should have been addressed a long time ago. The parents should be at least “talked to”.But then again, so should the doctor who neglected to do anything from the start.
In my opinion, this is one case where the parents are at fault. Who feeds the child anyway??
Kathy
 
I heard a study recently, as reported by a radio talk show, (sorry can’t remember who) That found that children today were eating the same number of calories…without the excercise that their parents got…

Something to chew on;)
I think today’s fast food is more calorie and fat-dense than traditional home-cooked meals, but I definitely believe that the lack of exercise is having an effect (see my earlier post).

People used to walk more, as well. Look at all the children who get driven to and from school every day, when they don’t live far enough away to qualify for bus transportation. I guess there’s a lot more crime for parents to be concerned about today, although I see this even in areas with very low crime rates.

I remember walking to the supermarket with my mother (everyone used to have those little personal carts that you could use to lug the groceries home).

My friends and I watched plenty of TV, but we had a lot of active play, as well. On Saturdays, or after school, we would just go to our friend’s houses, ring the bell, and ask “Can Susie come out to play?” When we had enough kids, we’d figure out something to do. There was a nearby field (we called it “the field”) that had a basketball court, a swing set, and plenty of open space to run around or ride bicycles. There was no such thing as having to wait for our parents to arrange a “play date” so we could go to someone’s house, and sit there engaging in passive pursuits.

One more thing – school lunch isn’t the same as it used to be. Look at the school lunch menus in the local newspapers – they read like fast-food-joint menus. My school lunches were a piece of meat or fish, with vegetables, a rice or potato, and sometimes salad (Friday was usually fish sticks or a small, personal-size cheese pizza – in public school, no less. 😃 ). Dessert was usually either fruit (fresh, canned, or a fruit dessert) or pudding. The beverage was milk, not soda. I guess you can’t get away with that kind of meal anymore – kids will just throw the healthy stuff into the trash can.

Maybe I grew up on a different planet, but back in those old fogey days, Mom didn’t make a different meal for each member of the family – she made one meal, and if you wanted to eat, you ate what was put in front of you. OK, maybe you “played with” more than ate a few things you really didn’t like, but I can’t remember any of this fussiness you see today (either in my house, or in any of my friends’ or relatives’ houses) where little Johnny gets macaroni and cheese or chicken tenders seven nights a week, because “he won’t eat anything else”. Did I grow up on Mars? We got used to eating a wide variety of foods, so we didn’t go ballistic when school lunch featured spinach or wax beans. Now, kids who have had their every culinary whim catered to, won’t eat school lunch unless it looks like McDonald’s. Add to that, no phys ed, no recess, no outdoor play, etc., and why are we surprised that kids are getting fatter?

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There are people who would decide who could take children away, it’s called Social Services. And they DO take children away from their parents if they have evidence they are being bad parents. They don’t take them away just because they *think *they are bad parents. (P.S. I don’t have children.)

What if this child had been smoking a cigarette? Would you, as an adult, want to step in? This is worse than putting a cigarette in that child’s mouth. Think about the major health problems those children will develop when they get older, sleep apnea, heart disease, blood clots, high blood pressure, the list goes on and on! Now, I have been chastised once for not knowing what REALLY is the problem here, but assuming that the childrens’ parents are just irresponsible and the kids do not have any health problems that make them fat, then this IS child abuse. The health of those children is being jeopardized by parents who do not care!

If I ever do anything to my children that warrants Social Services to take them from me, then so be it. Hopefully they wouldn’t do it because they think I am a bad parent, it will be because they KNOW I am a bad parent.
You know, foster care isn’t exactly healthy for children. Some carers are wonderful. Some are terrible. The system is really, really bad.

I am glad you’re not a policy maker at Social Services.
 
You know, foster care isn’t exactly healthy for children. Some carers are wonderful. Some are terrible. The system is really, really bad.

I am glad you’re not a policy maker at Social Services.
Eh, whatever. :rolleyes: I’m so sure you know me well enough to make that assumption.
 
The irony! :rolleyes:
I admitted the fact that I didn’t know what the real story was.
Now, I have been chastised once for not knowing what REALLY is the problem here, but assuming that the childrens’ parents are just irresponsible and the kids do not have any health problems that make them fat, then this IS child abuse.
 
To the OP, By you posting this picture on here for all to comment on , arent you continuing to do what you said was horrible in the first place? Maybe a better thing would have to just said a prayer for this child and his parents and be done with it. Now there are all these posts on here, a Christian forum, of people being less than charitable. (not all posts)
 
I’m with Deb. Kids don’t get out and just play like they used to. As a kid, I rode with my sisters several miles away to the 7-11 for a slush puppie. We rode all over. My parents didn’t worry about us because they didn’t need to. We skated up and down the street and climbed trees.

I have read that, statistically speaking, we don’t have to worry today as much as we do. However, with a new kidnapping broadcast across the country every few days, it gives the impression of being much more widespread than it is. I don’t let the kids play out front without supervision (something we routinely did as kids). I sure as heck won’t let them ride bikes several miles away. Not these days.

I am fortunate that we have a school coach here who, nearly ten years ago, felt called by God to do “homeschool PE”. We also try to take them to parks as often as possible.

Diet is only part of the equation.

Obesity is also linked to whether or not someone was breastfed. Breastfed babies learn “self-regulatory” feeding. Should we take kids from non-breastfeeding moms? This is a rhetorical question,of course. Please don’t turn it into a hijack.

I also agree with the poster who suggested praying for these and all children with health issues. We should extend the prayer to include a general prayer for the well-being of our society–so children can run and play free from anxiety.
 
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