It could very well be laziness…but then, it could be ignorance or guilt that is why the parent(s) have not sought help for this child too. I used to be a foster parent, and to put some of your minds at ease, a child is not taken out of the home without an investigation. A parent that feels helpless and hopeless can be shown what kind of support is out there for them and the child. A parent that is undereducated or even of lower intelligence can be taught how to properly care for a child. If the parent has been given the opportunities and resources but does nothing…then is in danger of court intervention.
Trust me, they are very careful about their investigations. I have even been accused and investigated for child abuse too. My oldest started walking very early and would fall and hit his head. The doctors thought he had too many bruises and accused me. When I told them that he was walking they didn’t believe me until during our cough heated discussion, my oldest stood up on the counter in the emergency room and almost fell off…shut that doctor right up! Another time I went through an investigation because the same child had bruises on his thighes. I readily admitted that I caused them…because he had sleep apnea and when he wouldn’t wake up because he stopped breathing, you have to get them to wake up so they breathe any way you can and inflicting pain sometimes is the only way to wake them… You know once the lack of oxygen to the brain starts…they just don’t wake up by normal means. I told the investigator I would rather a bruised baby than a dead baby any day… The doctors and my sons medical records confirmed that he had sleep apnea from birth and we had been instructed on this method of resuscitation when he stopped breathing and was unresponsive. Even with bruises and my admittance to causing them, they didn’t take my son. They didn’t even further the investigation or order random checks on me and my son.
For the poster that said foster homes can be terrible…I agree, I have seen some bad ones, but then I have seen alot more great ones. I got to the point where our judge knew me for taking in the toughest kids and he would ask my opinion quite often in court. He even told one kid if they couldn’t make it in my house, then they couldn’t make it anywhere and he would send them to a group facility. The kids loved my house not because I am an easy mom…but because I was fair and I told them what I expected out of them from the start.
The kids set their own punishments ahead of time so they knew the rules and what the consequence was if they broke them. I taught other fosterparents how to make behavior contracts and how to enforce them. I didn’t put alarms on the doors or lock the kids in their rooms like you hear about foster parents doing…I just let them know what was and wasn’t acceptable in my house. I only kicked out 2 kids in all the years I was a foster parent…one for selling drugs and one because she broke a rule that had leaving my house as a consequence…she tried to kill herself as a gesture to get her way, and I don’t get manipulated like that. The state even offered me double the per diem rate to take her back…it isn’t about money, if you do it right you end up spending more than you receive anyway.
DER! ----It’s fast food,
If you want good food take time from your busy life and prepare a proper meal. It’s not to hard in fact children love to help out.
