*Emphasizing the love of God the Father throughout history, Pope Francis described the kingdom of God as “a kingdom which has the feeling of family, the flavor of a life shared.”
“Today we see how on different fronts the family is weakened and questioned,” the Pope said. “It is regarded as a model which has done its time, but which has no place in our societies; these, claiming to be modern, increasingly favor a model based on isolation.”
He continued:
Societies become increasingly inoculated – they refer to themselves as societies which are free, democratic, sovereign – but they are inoculated by ideological colonizations which destroy; and we end up being ideological colonies that then have a destructive effect on families, the family cell, which is the basis of every healthy society.
It is true that living in family is not always easy, and can often be painful and stressful but, as I have often said referring to the Church, I prefer a wounded family that makes daily efforts to put love into play, to a family and society that is sick from isolationism or a habitual fear of love. I prefer a family that makes repeated efforts to begin again, to a family and society that is narcissistic and obsessed with luxury and comfort.
How many children do you have? “No, we don’t have children as we like to go on holidays, be tourists, and I want to buy a villa.” Luxury and comfort without children, and yet, when you then want a child, it’s too late. This is so harmful, is it not? I prefer a family with tired faces from generous giving, to a family with faces full of makeup that know nothing of tenderness and compassion.*
Here is the text of his speech to families. He is talking about the evils of societal models based on isolation, and purposefully avoiding having any children for the sake of luxury. These are real things in the world today.
Couples are choosing to marry but remain child free, through contraception, sterilization and abortion. Note the moniker “child free”, not “childless”. They are redefining marriage as a pursuit of pleasure. I have read about this growing trend. It is happening all over the world.
And things such as “bedroom communities”, where the neighborhoods are totally empty during the day, and the entire household leaves to go to long work hours and school and after-school care and extracurriculars, coming home just in time to sleep and shower. This is a real thing, too. Ironically, these homes are often huge. But people get into their car in their garage and drive to work and drive from place to place and drive home straight into their garage, and they never see or speak to a neighbor or a friend. Neighbors live side by side for decades and never see each other’s faces.
Everyone will experience loneliness and feeling like outsiders now and then. Every family will struggle with the question of family planning and family size, at least for a little bit of time. These are not the models of isolation and the exclusion of children in pursuit of luxury.
I know Pope Framcis often says things that can be upsetting to lots of people, because he tends to speak more about lifestyle than about dogma, but in my opinion, this is one statement of his that we can feel encouraged by. If you are feeling tired and stretched and giving until it hurts sometimes and seeking out friendships with others, mutually supportive ones, then he is speaking to you. He wants to see your tired faces, your self-sacrificing hearts, because those are far more beautiful than the most rested, beautifully made-up face of a person that serves only themselves.
But I’m glad it makes Pope Francis happy to see us when we’re tired. I guess I bring that man a great deal more joy than I thought I did.