I Hate myself Every single day Everyday i grow self hatred sometimes i wish death upon myself I just want to be friends with her or date her it Doesn’t Matter as Long as i’m near her thats all that matters when she hurts it hurts me And i’ve been thinking if there is a god before but, i know now all i want to do is be with her … is this a sign from god? her boyfriend broke up with her and 2 months before i said if i could have 1 wish it would be with her or 4 months im not sure
Dear Help:
The Self-Hatred is from the Father of Lies - Don’t listen to him, because LYING is his Native Language. Jesus loved you so much He not only died for you, He used those Roman Hammers to Engrave YOUR NAME in His hands. and, He’s the ONE Who’s waiting for you in the confessional, because He not only wants to put your sins away, He wants to tell you how much He loves YOU. So, Please go to confession, even if you have to “hijack” your pastor this Monday or Tuesday.
The embarrassment, the shame, the need to conceal this sin, is also from the Father of Lies - who only wants to pull you down into the same Lake of Fire he’s going down into. God NEVER intended for His children to go there - That’s why, In the fullness of time, while we were still God’s enemies, Jesus died for us so we might have LIFE and have it to the full. Satan, the ADVERSARY of the People of God, is using & magnifying the shame and embarrassment you feel so you won’t seek God’s MERCY & HELP in a time of need. He’s using them to drive you away from God. Don’t let him.
One of the Desert Fathers said where there were TEARS, there would be MERCY. It’s time for you to soak in the MERCY.
Regarding this girl whose bf left her - It’s not a sign - It’s TEENAGED Relationships. I remember girls who flitted from boy to boy like bees flitting from flower to flower, and the same for boys who seemed to do the same with girls. That they’re now doing this SEXUALLY and STARTING as YOUNG AS 11 & 12 just blows my mind. On this one, I would say NO just because it sounds like this girl could very easily become a “God before me” just from what I’ve read in your Posts.
You’ll be ready to date when you’re able to marry, and when you’re able to say the following:
Keith Green - Pledge my head to Head
listen to this about the effect of the Devil’s Lies
Keith Green - Lies
youtube.com/watch?v=a96P2CebMb8
At some point, we have to decide what’s (or Who’s) most important in our lives
Servant - Holy Roller Blues
youtube.com/watch?v=IhpXKK39jgo
Something on the Crucifixion of our Lord…
Petra - It is Finished Live (Greg X. Volz) Legendado
youtube.com/watch?v=VMiSerizCXc&feature=related
Ask your parents to listen to these songs - Better yet, listen to them together.
Petra - For Annie
Casting Crowns - Does anybody hear Her
youtube.com/watch?v=uhOJW4Uwy3c&NR=1&feature=fvwp
And, If your computer is in your room, ask your parents if they can help you, move it the common area at least for the next few months. That will help to keep you from using it for Computer Porn. Most of us have had “Paper Porn” at some time or the other - You’ve just got to “bit the bullet” and throw it out, not donate it to charity, throw it out (Recycling in the Paper Bin after shredding or tearing it apart is OK). The Porn just can’t be in a condition where someone else can “use it”. It’s done enough damage already.
Now, I’m going to ask my brothers to suggest things to take the place of the Porn and the Girl - You’re going to need Godly pursuits (Scripture Study, Prayer, the Sacraments including Daily Mass & Christ-Centered Activities) to take the place of this stuff you’re getting rid of…
Your Brother & Servant in Christ, Michael