Pornography/Masturbation & Hell

[TrinityOfLord]

Hi all,

I just joined the forums, so I’ll be seeing you around!

Sorry to start on a bad note but…
I’m a 15 year old guy. I’m very deep in the faith, I’m in a ton of church activities, and go to mass twice a week. However, I’m not afraid to admit that one sin I struggle with is Masturbation. Seems that this has been posted a lot on these forums! xD
I never watch porn though. I watched it like twice a couple years back. Didn’t watch it once I found out it was a sin.

Anyways, last night I was really “Turned on” so to speak. I got so tempted that I turned on porn :banghead: and started to masturbate. After, I looked up why it was a sin and somebody said that if you watch it, even if you repent, you will go to hell. :bigyikes: I’m kind of scared now…

Anyways, I really do not sin much at all. (And I really try my best not too!) So this is a big strike on the board. So is it true that if I repent, I’m still going to hell? And if I die, say tonight, in a state of mortal sin will I go to hell?

And one last question. It’s extremely hard not to masturbate. Longest I’ve gone is a week. So will that send me to hell? Or is it counted a venial sin by the terms from the C.C.C. saying that the sin is reduced by means of immaturity.

Thanks very much! God bless!

 

[Perlesvaus]

God’s grace is infinite; not only will He forgive you, He will lead you out of masturbation. I was trapped there, with increasingly perverse pornography, and after about five years of sin I have been free for more than one and a half. I will not go back.

I spent years trying to give it up, and religious programmes helped, but were not enough. Breaking up with my first girlfriend upset me enough to change my life in many ways - I became so busy that I had less time to view pornography and masturbate - but I fell after a few months. Nevertheless, those months made me realise that it could fall away.

After a catastrophic failure on holiday, I silently broke down, refused to fight any more, and turned to God to take control. I then held to the truth of His love, almost assuming that He had broken it. I decided that not only would I be able not to sin in this way, but actually that I could masturbate any longer. This was sealed when I received the Sacrament of Confirmation later the same month; I have neither masturbated nor viewed pornography since that time.

This is probably confusing, but what you really need to take away is that your sin cannot defeat His love, and that it is entirely contrary to Church teaching that you might not be forgiven if you do repent. It sounds like your spirit already is penitent. Go to confession, and ask for the priest’s guidance. God will bless you.

 

[TrinityOfLord]

Thank you for your reply. So the church teaches that you will go to hell for this?? If so, I’m screwed!! I’m scared now!

 

[SeanF1989]

Thank you for your reply. So the church teaches that you will go to hell for this?? If so, I’m screwed!! I’m scared now!

Keep going to confession, get your parents to put an adult block on pornographic sites and find a hobby to keep your mind and hands busy.

Prayer works too.

 

[billcu1]

The Rosary helped me the most. Stay away from near occassion. And There is pure and impure intent in actions if you are dating too.

 

[Perlesvaus]

Thank you for your reply. So the church teaches that you will go to hell for this?? If so, I’m screwed!! I’m scared now!

If you knew it was really wrong and decided to it, and you do not confess. If you go to confession and tell the priest the truth, you cannot be touched and will be forgiven. You have to do this before taking communion. It is a serious issue, but the grace of God is good enough.

Remember that God wants you to be saved, and you only need to accept His offer of pardon.

Oh, and it is a good idea to tell your parents. This sounds disastrously awkward, and I never did until after the issue was over; I ended up telling them anyway. It’ll be weird at first, but together you’ll be better at sorting things out. Trying to set up your own filter is a menace. You can make yourself forget the password, but you can’t get someone else to alter it…

Incidentally, I’m 21, and was in the pornography situation from about 14 to 19. I did a lot more than it sounds like you have, and I knew it was against God’s will for most of that time. Since then God has led me far deeper into His love, and has done great things for me.

 

[ClearWater]

As to confession of masturbation, if it would make it easier, refer to it as “self gratification” as another member of the forum has suggested. Some people have great difficulty confessing the sins, because of the phrasing. Often, by changing the wording, it can make it at least a little easier.

I’ve heard some men have problems with this especially while showering. I know I’ll probably get yelled at for being so old fashioned, but old timers used to take cold showers when they wanted to work on this issue. In modern times, people laugh, and ridicule this, but why not be open to any suggestions? The old timers had a lot more success with these problems. I think we should listen to them!

As to pornography, avoid it. Do NOT keep any in the house. If you have any, destroy it. If it’s on the internet, it’d be better to destroy your computer than go to hell over this. However, I trust you can find another solution. I imagine you’ve seen the movie, “Fireproof”. He also struggled with pornography as a married man, and you can see how it hurt his relationships, especially with his wife!

In a marriage, he would always be comparing this young, model, whose flaws have been removed by the computer, to make her into this impossible image for women to even obtain!

Further, this is somebody’s daughter…wife…sister. How would you feel if this person were your sister or daughter? She is a daughter of God! We are made in the image and likeness of God! We need to remember that, that every action we do will later be public knowledge!

This is a common problem at your age, and I’m glad you have chosen to work on it. I give you a lot of credit.

Good luck and God bless you!

 

[billcu1]

Thank you for your reply. So the church teaches that you will go to hell for this?? If so, I’m screwed!! I’m scared now!

It’s a grave matter. To be a mortal sin takes a little more than knowing it’s wrong and doing it anyway possibly . There are culpability issues too that come into play stress, anxiety, and so on can make people do this. And at your age your quite probably going through a lot of stress now.

 

[TK421]

Pray to our Holy Mother frequently and be frank in your confessions. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, then that means you’re doing it right. And whatever you do, do not believe that you are trying in vain. If you give up pushing against this temptation, your addiction will grow stronger and stronger by the year. There are millions and millions of people in the world that masturbate to porn several times in a day, every day of the week, and it is devastating to their ability to find a true partner and draw close to God. Your sex drive is supply and demand. The more you feed it, the more it wants.

Fight the good fight everyday and continue to pray with a contrite heart. God delights in forgiving us of our sins. If you do this, you will not go to Hell, and by fighting our temptations, we grow stronger. Fighting against this temptation as a teenager means that you are ahead of the curve and will likely avoid many problems down the road. This is very encouraging.

 

[TrinityOfLord]

Pray to our Holy Mother frequently and be frank in your confessions. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, then that means you’re doing it right. And whatever you do, do not believe that you are trying in vain. If you give up pushing against this temptation, your addiction will grow stronger and stronger by the year. There are millions and millions of people in the world that masturbate to porn several times in a day, every day of the week, and it is devastating to their ability to find a true partner and draw close to God. Your sex drive is supply and demand. The more you feed it, the more it wants.

Fight the good fight everyday and continue to pray with a contrite heart. God delights in forgiving us of our sins. If you do this, you will not go to Hell, and by fighting our temptations, we grow stronger. Fighting against this temptation as a teenager means that you are ahead of the curve and will likely avoid many problems down the road. This is very encouraging.

Thank you so much all of you! I’ve decided to go to confession when I can. Hopefully I don’t die beforehand! What happens if I can’t make it to confessions before mass? Should I not take communion?

I find all of your answers (especially the one above) VERY encouraging. This was a one time event, and let’s hope it stays that way. I have been living in guilt all day. I feel like I’ve betrayed God and almost like I’ve lost connection with him.

Coincidentally, I was in class today and my peer says “If you could have unlimited free porn or have free sex every day what would you choose?”. I said neither. He was shocked. I told him I don’t watch porn and he said that there’s something wrong with me. He watches it daily. It’ll be his loss however when he meets God I guess. I go to a Catholic school which dosen’t make it any better.
It’s sad how people think this is the norm. It’s disgusting. I feel like everyone should just take a look at what their morals are.

 

[SeanF1989]

Thank you so much all of you! I’ve decided to go to confession when I can. Hopefully I don’t die beforehand! What happens if I can’t make it to confessions before mass? **Should I not take communion? **

I find all of your answers (especially the one above) VERY encouraging. This was a one time event, and let’s hope it stays that way. I have been living in guilt all day. I feel like I’ve betrayed God and almost like I’ve lost connection with him.

Coincidentally, I was in class today and my peer says “If you could have unlimited free porn or have free sex every day what would you choose?”. I said neither. He was shocked. I told him I don’t watch porn and he said that there’s something wrong with me. He watches it daily. It’ll be his loss however when he meets God I guess. I go to a Catholic school which dosen’t make it any better.
It’s sad how people think this is the norm. It’s disgusting. I feel like everyone should just take a look at what their morals are.

No, taking Communion while in a state of mortal sin is another mortal sin.

 

[Perlesvaus]

If you have to go to mass first, discreetly stay kneeling when others go up to receive. People won’t notice, or will just assume you have your reasons. It is still a blessing, because you are still in presence of body and blood of Christ.

If you are with your parents, this is of course tricky, which is why it really is a good idea to let them understand what’s going on.

I completely agree with your horror at pornography in our society. A lot of my friends are atheists, but it’s still really wrong; you can pretend people enjoy it, but there is plenty of testimony that they do not, and I can’t conceive of sex being so public and yet remain the beautiful gift God gave us. I even used to lie that I did not watch pornography to argue it’s horrors; this was obviously bad, as I did watch pornography. Thankfully, the Catholic line on this is clear.

I wasn’t a Catholic when it started for me, and God’s grace was so great that this terrible sin was turned into a path to clearer faith; there was a horrible time when I could not decide whether it was wrong or not. Intrinsically, it felt exciting but bad, so natural moral law was certainly at work. I’m glad to see that you have the understanding of your faith to also understand that this is wrong. God’s grace will guide you if you want to be guided (and you blatantly do), something I’m learning through my current problems.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Hi all,

I just joined the forums, so I’ll be seeing you around!

Sorry to start on a bad note but…
I’m a 15 year old guy. I’m very deep in the faith, I’m in a ton of church activities, and go to mass twice a week. However, I’m not afraid to admit that one sin I struggle with is Masturbation. Seems that this has been posted a lot on these forums! xD
I never watch porn though. I watched it like twice a couple years back. Didn’t watch it once I found out it was a sin.

Anyways, last night I was really “Turned on” so to speak. I got so tempted that I turned on porn :banghead: and started to masturbate. After, I looked up why it was a sin and somebody said that if you watch it, even if you repent, you will go to hell. :bigyikes: I’m kind of scared now…

Anyways, I really do not sin much at all. (And I really try my best not too!) So this is a big strike on the board. So is it true that if I repent, I’m still going to hell? And if I die, say tonight, in a state of mortal sin will I go to hell?

And one last question. It’s extremely hard not to masturbate. Longest I’ve gone is a week. So will that send me to hell? Or is it counted a venial sin by the terms from the C.C.C. saying that the sin is reduced by means of immaturity.

Thanks very much! God bless!

You might want to confess it but it might be mitigated because you are a teen. In the Church approved Chatechism for teens (Youcat) it states

Masturbation is an offense against love, because it makes the excitement of sexual pleasure an end in itself and uncouples it from the holistic unfolding of love between a man and a woman. That is why “sex with yourself” is a contradiction in terms. [2352]

The Church does not demonize masturbation, but she warns against trivializing it. In fact many young people and adults are in danger of becoming isolated in their consumption of lewd pictures, films, and Internet services instead of finding love in a personal relationship. Loneliness can lead to a blind alley in which masturbation becomes an addiction. Living by the motto “For sex I do not need anyone; I will have it myself, however and whenever I need it” makes nobody happy.

The Church does not demonize masturbation, but she warns against trivializing it.

So you can see that the Church does not demonize it. And thinks it not trivial not because it is a sin, but because it is socially damaging.

The Catechism states

2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action."138 “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."139

To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.

"Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.

I’d stick with the youcat idea of it not being demonized.

 

[ClearWater]

I think people believe with masturbation and pornography that they can try to decrease this problem, that it would actually be much worse without these two crutches. However, I think both of these are a little like trying to put out a fire using gasoline.

 

[Perlesvaus]

Yes, trying to decrease the amount I masturbated or watched pornography wasn’t really useful at all. It was a remarkably clean break when it happened.

 

[TrinityOfLord]

Well, today I went to mass (as I usually do awithout my parents…) and did not recieve communion. After, I went to Father and asked for confession. Both me and my 3 good friends went. I felt so good. Afterwards, I went into deep prayer. I feel so relieved and good now. Thank you all for your replies.

I never had a porn addiction. Just a masturbation one. They both are a bad habit though. Hopefully I can break it now. Today started a new thing with me. I’m going every 4th Wednesday to confession now. This will hopefully break the habit.

Pray for me, and I’ll pray for you. Thank you all SO much! And 'll be seeing you around on the forums!

God bless!

 

[TrinityOfLord]

Well, today I went to mass (as I usually do awithout my parents…) and did not recieve communion. After, I went to Father and asked for confession. Both me and my 3 good friends went. I felt so good. Afterwards, I went into deep prayer. I feel so relieved and good now. Thank you all for your replies.

I never had a porn addiction. Just a masturbation one. They both are a bad habit though. Hopefully I can break it now. Today started a new thing with me. I’m going every 4th Wednesday to confession now. This will hopefully break the habit.

Pray for me, and I’ll pray for you. Thank you all SO much! And 'll be seeing you around on the forums!

God bless!

 

[TrinityOfLord]

Well, today I went to mass (as I usually do without my parents…) and did not recieve communion. I instead recieved a blessing. (I am an alter server.) After, I went to Father and asked for confession. Both me and my 3 good friends went. I felt so good. Afterwards, I went into deep prayer. I feel so relieved and good now. Thank you all for your replies.

I never had a porn addiction. Just a masturbation one. They both are a bad habit though. Hopefully I can break it now. Today started a new thing with me. I’m going every 4th Wednesday to confession now. This will hopefully break the habit.

Pray for me, and I’ll pray for you. Thank you all SO much! And 'll be seeing you around on the forums!

God bless!

 

[Perlesvaus]

Excellent! God bless you.

 

[jimmybeth]

If you try to quit repeatedly and cannot quit on your own then it might be an addiction.
Most people do not understand about this matter. But I do.
Some of the posts are about quitting with will power and God. With an addiction will power is not enough and sometimes in this state it seems that God is not listening. There is a great program called SA which is Sexaholics anonymous. With the help of twelve steps and a support group with similar problems there are many who have had sexual sobriety for more than 30 years. The stories you hear there are amazing. By listening to others who are fighting this addiction and their success’s and learning new tools that will help you deal with life much better than ever before, you can find freedom.
For the families of a sex addict who have been hurt by this behavior their is also a program called S-Anon. Both of these programs have conventions of 1000’s who have recovered and
have had a spiritual awakening that has brought me to God and Catholicism much more deeply.