"Portable Porn Machine"

[Gordon_Sims]

We should treat all teenagers as devious, sneaky little liars and porn additcts until proven otherwise.

I don’t think that’s necessarily the case, but someone is breaking the rules at school. If it’s not any of these parents’ kids, who is it? The handful of kids who don’t have smart phones?

 

[pensmama87]

We should treat all teenagers as devious, sneaky little liars and porn additcts until proven otherwise.

I don’t agree with this (at any rate I’m fairly sure you’re being sarcastic), BUT that said, I will say that my parents probably never, ever thought I would look at it. Now, I wasn’t interested for very long and it was more a mixture of curiosity and repulsion than anything. There might or might not be more safeguards on it now, but I also came of age with anonymous AOL chatrooms (and MSN chat, remember that?) and p2p networks like Kazaa. My parents still don’t know about the stuff I said and saw and I hope they never do. I was almost victimized twice by child predators but thankfully my alarm bells went off when they wanted to know my exact address (looking back there were so many signs that it was super creepy that I completely missed!). There’s been a series of Youtube videos where a guy poses as a predator to show parents that even their very good kids don’t follow basic Internet safety guidelines.

While I don’t think kids need to be under total lock and key until they graduate (that presents its own problems), I’d err on the side of being too strict rather than not strict enough. Just my two cents as a “good kid” who wasn’t nearly street smart enough.

 

[Rico_S]

There might or might not be more safeguards on it now, but I also came of age with anonymous AOL chatrooms (and MSN chat, remember that?) and p2p networks like Kazaa. My parents still don’t know about the stuff I said and saw and I hope they never do. I was almost victimized twice by child predators but thankfully my alarm bells went off when they wanted to know my exact address (looking back there were so many signs that it was super creepy that I completely missed!). There’s been a series of Youtube videos where a guy poses as a predator to show parents that even their very good kids don’t follow basic Internet safety guidelines.

Scary! I think I’ve seen that video with parents sitting in the back of the van as the phony predator picks up the teenager from her home. It’s pretty unsettling.

I suppose its possible that we are naive and my kids are doing things behind our backs like that. But, we talk about things like predators, strangers trying to contact them through social media. We talk openly about how dire the consequences are if they make a poor decision in this regard. They have seen the video you referenced. I’m confident that, like you, they will hear the alarm bells. Heck, they won’t even answer their phone if they don’t recognize the number.

I have a personal question that you don’t have to answer at all if you don’t want. While I am sure it will depend on the extent of your “curiosity and repulsion”, but what sort of impact did you seeking out of porn images as a teen have on you? I will share that I saw images and videos I shouldn’t as a teen. Some pretty bad ones. I don’t have some life long porn obsession. I didn’t seek out girls to use as a young man and I certainly don’t treat women like ****. Nor do I think that sex is like it is protrayed in porn. Honestly, I believe it has had a neglible impact on my life.

I do believe that porn can create real problems for people.

This question isnt realy intended for you pensmama87. So, since many think that the temptation is too great for kids to handle, I am curious, are you all locking up your alcohol? What about your prescription meds…or even a cash stash that you keep around for cash emergencies?

 

[Regina7]

I’m curious, are you suggesting that kids be taught card catalogues, dewey decimal system, etc? How to navigate around a library?

Kids should be taught how to use a library. Students should be able to find information from other sources besides online- from books, periodicals, reference sources, etc. So many kids today are so reliant on technology that they see no other way when that technology isn’t working.

 

[UbiCaritas]

Kids should be taught how to use a library. Students should be able to find information from other sources besides online- from books, periodicals, reference sources, etc. So many kids today are so reliant on technology that they see no other way when that technology isn’t working.

Agreed, with the caveat that online sources (many academic journals are online-only now, for example) are as important, or possibly even more so, than print sources. When I was in grad school, the class I found most helpful/interesting/useful in the long term was a class on bibliography. It taught us how to find sources, in both physical and digital form, in our field. Keywords, manipulating search algorithms, that sort of thing.

Insofar as phones go, our plan with our kids is to do something similar to what DH’s parents do. There will be several basic (read: non-smart) phones set aside for kid use. A house rule will be that kids do not leave the house without a phone–the time is past when you could expect to find a payphone on every corner. At the same time, the phones are randomized, so no one phone is assigned to a particular kid: someone calling that number won’t know who they’ll get. Furthermore, the phones are to be used for contacting parents/caregivers/etc only, and records get reviewed periodically.

For the internet, use in common rooms on common devices only. We’re unlikely to get filters because I have yet to find one that doesn’t cause significant issues with the computer on which it’s installed*, though if porn is ever an issue, we’ll revisit that.

*In my experience, the filters work best as a deterrent for computer use for anything at all due to the sheer aggravation of the PC perpetually freezing/crashing/et all mid-program, but I digress.

 

[pensmama87]

Scary! I think I’ve seen that video with parents sitting in the back of the van as the phony predator picks up the teenager from her home. It’s pretty unsettling.

I suppose its possible that we are naive and my kids are doing things behind our backs like that. But, we talk about things like predators, strangers trying to contact them through social media. We talk openly about how dire the consequences are if they make a poor decision in this regard. They have seen the video you referenced. I’m confident that, like you, they will hear the alarm bells. Heck, they won’t even answer their phone if they don’t recognize the number.

I have a personal question that you don’t have to answer at all if you don’t want. While I am sure it will depend on the extent of your “curiosity and repulsion”, but what sort of impact did you seeking out of porn images as a teen have on you? I will share that I saw images and videos I shouldn’t as a teen. Some pretty bad ones. I don’t have some life long porn obsession. I didn’t seek out girls to use as a young man and I certainly don’t treat women like ****. Nor do I think that sex is like it is protrayed in porn. Honestly, I believe it has had a neglible impact on my life.

I do believe that porn can create real problems for people.

This question isnt realy intended for you pensmama87. So, since many think that the temptation is too great for kids to handle, I am curious, are you all locking up your alcohol? What about your prescription meds…or even a cash stash that you keep around for cash emergencies?

Well, I was a radical feminist for several years and thought religion was an absolute crock. I don’t know how much pornography influenced that, but I did know that both my father and brother were users and my perspective of their hypocrisy and sexism definitely influenced my views. I was very suspicious of men for a long time. I was also sexually assaulted as a teen (by an acquaintance.) These things all interact with each other in strange ways. It’s hard to tell what had what influence. But I do know that I won’t do as my parents did and just trust that my kids will continue to be “good kids” and make good choices.

I think it’s very good that you are openly talking with them about it. That by itself I think does wonders. As far as other hazards, I think it depends on the kid. I did develop an eating disorder. Maybe it would have been alcohol or meds if I’d had those in our house growing up (we did not). I have a relative who is a (now recovering) heroin addict after becoming addicted to pain meds after he had surgery as a teen.

Some people have “addict personalities.” I think really the important thing is to be open and teach and model healthy coping to your kids and positive outlets. We weren’t allowed to discuss hard stuff growing up and we weren’t encouraged to ask questions. The narrative I heard growing up was that I was “smart and good” and so was expected to figure out everything for myself. I suppose I did, in my own way.

 

[DarkLight]

Scary! I think I’ve seen that video with parents sitting in the back of the van as the phony predator picks up the teenager from her home. It’s pretty unsettling.

I suppose its possible that we are naive and my kids are doing things behind our backs like that. But, we talk about things like predators, strangers trying to contact them through social media. We talk openly about how dire the consequences are if they make a poor decision in this regard. They have seen the video you referenced. I’m confident that, like you, they will hear the alarm bells. Heck, they won’t even answer their phone if they don’t recognize the number.

I have a personal question that you don’t have to answer at all if you don’t want. While I am sure it will depend on the extent of your “curiosity and repulsion”, but what sort of impact did you seeking out of porn images as a teen have on you? I will share that I saw images and videos I shouldn’t as a teen. Some pretty bad ones. I don’t have some life long porn obsession. I didn’t seek out girls to use as a young man and I certainly don’t treat women like ****. Nor do I think that sex is like it is protrayed in porn. Honestly, I believe it has had a neglible impact on my life.

I do believe that porn can create real problems for people.

This question isnt realy intended for you pensmama87. So, since many think that the temptation is too great for kids to handle, I am curious, are you all locking up your alcohol? What about your prescription meds…or even a cash stash that you keep around for cash emergencies?

This is definitely necessary - young adults, not just kids, can fall victim to danger online or over social media. You can keep phones away from kids, but those kids grow up to be adults and go to college somewhere where parents can’t be watching all the time. Better to have the education before that age.

 

[anon67074017]

Just as one would have to choose to access porn which is located in a public library. The internet provides content from anywhere and everywhere in the world and makes one’s own information available to anyone in the world. I know some people who publish online blogs and link them to all their social media. They put a lot of personal information in there. Do they realize that their information is available to hackers, international mafia, criminal traffickers, and hordes of voyeurs all over the world? Do parents realize that a child’s phone opens every dark side of the world to the child and opens the child’s world to the whole world? Porn providers love to provide content to everyone. Hackers love to accumulate personal information and sell it. The internet makes what would have been a useful information gadget into a dangerous gadget. We don’t give a child a credit card and allow him to travel the world alone; but we do give him a smart phone and allow him to travel the world alone.

I am sure that people know of all the risks associated with use. I think that responsible usage should be promoted.