Possibility of Childre

[Jazel]

For various reasons too numerous to go into here (both physical and psychological), and after much prayer, my Wife (non-Catholic) and I have decided not to have children of our own (to the extent that I will be having a vasectomy), but we have decided that we will in the future be foster parents and possibly adopt.

Does the fact that we are open to having children in our marriage (though not in the “traditional” way) obviate my sin, or am I trying to hard to split hairs?

-Jim

 

[Em_in_FL]

No, having the vasectomy is wrong.

If prayer and reflection have brought you to the conclusion that there is a serious/grave reason to postpone or avoid pregnancy that is fine.
And adoption is a wonderful thing!
But, a vascectomy violates the unitive and procreative aspects of conjugal love within marriage…
The proper method of avoiding conception would be Natural Family Planning.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church says:

2366
Fecundity is a gift, an end of marriage, for conjugal love naturally tends to be fruitful. A child does not come from outside as something added on to the mutual love of the spouses, but springs from the very heart of that mutual giving, as its fruit and fulfillment. So the Church, which is "on the side of life,"151 teaches that "it is necessary that each and every marriage act remain ordered per se to the procreation of human life."152 "This particular doctrine, expounded on numerous occasions by the Magisterium, is based on the inseparable connection, established by God, which man on his own initiative may not break, between the unitive significance and the procreative significance which are both inherent to the marriage act."153

2367
Called to give life, spouses share in the creative power and fatherhood of God.154 "Married couples should regard it as their proper mission to transmit human life and to educate their children; they should realize that they are thereby cooperating with the love of God the Creator and are, in a certain sense, its interpreters. They will fulfill this duty with a sense of human and Christian responsibility."155

**2368
A particular aspect of this responsibility concerns the regulation of procreation. For just reasons, spouses may wish to space the births of their children. It is their duty to make certain that their desire is not motivated by selfishness but is in conformity with the generosity appropriate to responsible parenthood. Moreover, they should conform their behavior to the objective criteria of morality:

    When it is a question of harmonizing married love with the responsible transmission of life, the morality of the behavior does not depend on sincere intention and evaluation of motives alone; but it must be determined by objective criteria, criteria drawn from the nature of the person and his acts, criteria that respect the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love; this is possible only if the virtue of married chastity is practiced with sincerity of heart.156

2369
"By safeguarding both these essential aspects, the unitive and the procreative, the conjugal act preserves in its fullness the sense of true mutual love and its orientation toward man’s exalted vocation to parenthood."157

2370
Periodic continence, that is, the methods of birth regulation based on self-observation and the use of infertile periods, is in conformity with the objective criteria of morality.158 These methods respect the bodies of the spouses, encourage tenderness between them, and favor the education of an authentic freedom. In contrast, “every action which, whether in anticipation of the conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible” is intrinsically evil:159

    Thus the innate LANGUAGE that expresses the total reciprocal self-giving of husband and wife is overlaid, through contraception, by an objectively contradictory LANGUAGE, namely, that of not giving oneself totally to the other. This leads not only to a positive refusal to be open to life but also to a falsification of the inner truth of conjugal love, which is called upon to give itself in personal totality. . . . The difference, both anthropological and moral, between contraception and recourse to the rhythm of the cycle . . . involves in the final analysis two irreconcilable concepts of the human person and of human sexuality.160**

2371
"Let all be convinced that human life and the duty of transmitting it are not limited by the horizons of this life only: their true evaluation and full significance can be understood only in reference to man’s eternal destiny."161

I have bolded the appropriate sections…
HTH!

 

[Em_in_FL]

If you’d like more information on Natural Family Planning be sure to ask! There are SEVERAL methods out there that are very effective. Also, contact your diocese for local classes!

 

[kevinsgirl]

What Em said!

 

[Paul2274]

Ends do not justify the means.

Paul

 

[Jazel]

Thank you all. Yes, I am familiar with NFP and the Catechism - My Catholic Education hasn’t completely faded yet

 

[agapewolf]

Being open to children is a must for a valid marriage. Now you may determine that you have to avoid because of a serious reason, as stated before, but closing off that possibility through a vasectemy is a grave sin.

Not knowing your situation, in general, one doesn’t know if circumstances might change

Also, one can never know what the future holds. What if your wife passes away and you marry again?

There have also been pregnancies that have happened after vasectamies.

 

[1ke]

Does the fact that we are open to having children in our marriage (though not in the “traditional” way) obviate my sin, or am I trying to hard to split hairs?

No, Jim, it does not.

It is not the *marriage *that must be “open to children” it is each act of sexual intercourse that must be ordered to procreation and the unity of the spouses.

Vasectomy is a mortal sin.

I encourage you to rethink this reckless plan of transgressing the moral law in such a serious way and consider that natural family planning is a moral way to postpone pregnancy, even indefinitely.

 

[kage_ar]

As you know, vasectomy is a mortal sin.

To have one done thinking “I’ll just go to confession” compounds by adding the sin of presumption.

Please, talk to your Priest.

 

[kresbrook]

do a Google search of “Contraception Why Not”. The CD is enlightening and sometimes funny, but the text is also on-line for you to read if you don’t want to wait for the CD. Once you read this I think you will beter understand WHY the Church teaches that contraception is wrong.

I always understood the teaching of the Church, but I never understood WHY. It’s very important to understand why.
Blessings to you and your Wife!!