Possible Job offer Vent, complete story

[Anglewannabe]

Summary: I have not had meaningful work in almost 2 years and I have been working hard at growing closer to God and trusting in His will and being grateful for what I do have

Surprising result: My spirits have been much higher and although I do not have nearly what I use to be able to afford, I am more grateful for that I have and am also I lot more sociable and much less resentful.

The reason for this post: I can NOT believe what just happened and the inconsiderateness of some people.

I attend professional meetings once in a while since it is the thing to do to hopefully be able to network (not that I believe in networking but that is for another post). At these meetings I have met a woman who can be very difficult to be around. Let’s call her Nancy.

Earlier today, I got an email from Nancy asking if I was still looking for work because she knows someone who is looking for a manager. I reply that I have no experience in their industry and no manager experience so I do not think I could handle the expectations. I thank her for thinking of me and attach my resume and tell her ‘Feel free to share it with anyone who is looking for my skill set’. I go to church and come back to a voice mail saying ‘Angie you always undersell yourself I think you have the transferable skills and would do this job really well, check your email I sent the job description’. I check my email, no job description so I decide to watch TV.

At 9pm (which I think is a bit too late to call), the phone rings. It is Nancy asking what I though of the job description. So I tell her I will check my emails again and after reading it, even though it would be a challenge, I do think I would be able to take it on. So I say ‘That really is different than the first impression I had, please send my resume’.

She keeps me on the phone for 20 minutes telling me about all the people she was thinking could fit that job All the reasons she will not suggest certain people and then carries on about the person who would have been perfect for the job and does not understand how this person could be so foolish as to say ‘no thanks’

I felt like she was dangling a carrot in front of my nose how she talked me into reconsidering and then when I said ok, started to tell me about all the competition.

Then she says, ‘I think your resume is too industry specific, in the cover letter, use more general terms so that they understand better what you do’. I bite my tongue, but my former employer paid a pretty penny for a professional service to help me rewrite my resume and this service knew very well that I would be going after various industries. So then I say to her ‘Are you free to give their name and address so I will know who to send the cover letter to?’ To which she responds ‘Well, I am not sure I will be sending the cover letter’ :banghead:

Why on earth would she tell me to spend time to writing a cover letter if she is not going to send it???

Then she told me about all the experience and software packages that I left off my resume and said ‘It would be important for you to include those since they will help’. I used my most polite voice and said ‘I did not put that stuff on my resume because I don’t have those skills and I don’t want to lie’. She said in a shocked tone ‘I though you did’

This woman has never worked with me, I have no idea where she gets these ideas.

So then I try again to get off the phone and she says ‘OK just send me the information’ to which I reply ‘what information, a cover letter or a revised resume’ and she says a revised resume. Now since I need a better job, and this seems like a good position, I will revise my resume but I am almost 100% sure she still won’t like it. And it just breaks my heart to waste time doing something futile because over the past 2 years I can not count how many hours I have spent writing cover letter only to not get a call back.

But then the icing on the cake. Nancy says ‘Ok, well let me think I will let you know if I will be sending in your resume or James’s’ So again, I use the most polite voice I can muster at the time and say ‘Why don’t you send in both and let them decide?’ To which she replies ‘Oh 2 is too much I just don’t want to do that’ :banghead:

This is not the first time this woman has waste my time hurting my feelings like that. Like I say, I will try to revise the resume, however, I am just dreading the upcoming conversations

Thanks for reading

Angie

 

[Cat]

Summary: I have not had meaningful work in almost 2 years and I have been working hard at growing closer to God and trusting in His will and being grateful for what I do have

Surprising result: My spirits have been much higher and although I do not have nearly what I use to be able to afford, I am more grateful for that I have and am also I lot more sociable and much less resentful.

The reason for this post: I can NOT believe what just happened and the inconsiderateness of some people.

I attend professional meetings once in a while since it is the thing to do to hopefully be able to network (not that I believe in networking but that is for another post). At these meetings I have met a woman who can be very difficult to be around. Let’s call her Nancy.

Earlier today, I got an email from Nancy asking if I was still looking for work because she knows someone who is looking for a manager. I reply that I have no experience in their industry and no manager experience so I do not think I could handle the expectations. I thank her for thinking of me and attach my resume and tell her ‘Feel free to share it with anyone who is looking for my skill set’. I go to church and come back to a voice mail saying ‘Angie you always undersell yourself I think you have the transferable skills and would do this job really well, check your email I sent the job description’. I check my email, no job description so I decide to watch TV.

At 9pm (which I think is a bit too late to call), the phone rings. It is Nancy asking what I though of the job description. So I tell her I will check my emails again and after reading it, even though it would be a challenge, I do think I would be able to take it on. So I say ‘That really is different than the first impression I had, please send my resume’.

She keeps me on the phone for 20 minutes telling me about all the people she was thinking could fit that job All the reasons she will not suggest certain people and then carries on about the person who would have been perfect for the job and does not understand how this person could be so foolish as to say ‘no thanks’

I felt like she was dangling a carrot in front of my nose how she talked me into reconsidering and then when I said ok, started to tell me about all the competition.

Then she says, ‘I think your resume is too industry specific, in the cover letter, use more general terms so that they understand better what you do’. I bite my tongue, but my former employer paid a pretty penny for a professional service to help me rewrite my resume and this service knew very well that I would be going after various industries. So then I say to her ‘Are you free to give their name and address so I will know who to send the cover letter to?’ To which she responds ‘Well, I am not sure I will be sending the cover letter’ :banghead:

Why on earth would she tell me to spend time to writing a cover letter if she is not going to send it???

Then she told me about all the experience and software packages that I left off my resume and said ‘It would be important for you to include those since they will help’. I used my most polite voice and said ‘I did not put that stuff on my resume because I don’t have those skills and I don’t want to lie’. She said in a shocked tone ‘I though you did’

This woman has never worked with me, I have no idea where she gets these ideas.

So then I try again to get off the phone and she says ‘OK just send me the information’ to which I reply ‘what information, a cover letter or a revised resume’ and she says a revised resume. Now since I need a better job, and this seems like a good position, I will revise my resume but I am almost 100% sure she still won’t like it. And it just breaks my heart to waste time doing something futile because over the past 2 years I can not count how many hours I have spent writing cover letter only to not get a call back.

But then the icing on the cake. Nancy says ‘Ok, well let me think I will let you know if I will be sending in your resume or James’s’ So again, I use the most polite voice I can muster at the time and say ‘Why don’t you send in both and let them decide?’ To which she replies ‘Oh 2 is too much I just don’t want to do that’ :banghead:

This is not the first time this woman has waste my time hurting my feelings like that. Like I say, I will try to revise the resume, however, I am just dreading the upcoming conversations

Thanks for reading

Angie

I don’t understand some things about this story. Please clarify.

Why would “Nancy” send your cover letter? Is she a headhunter? Or some kind of other employment specialist?

If Nancy is a headhunter, you realize that she receives payment for finding people for companies. That would explain why she is working so hard to convince you to apply for the job.

Also, if she’s a headhunter, she has ways to find out things about you. That’s where she “gets those ideas.”

Why wouldn’t you send your own cover letter and resume? This is what I don’t understand about your post. I would never allow someone to send a cover letter and resume for me, unless that person was a headhunter that I had personally hired.

Thank you for clarifying this. I’m probably just missing something here.

From what I’ve read so far in your story–unless your clarifications shed a different light on it–I would say that in this economy, we have to go for any lead, no matter how personally uncomfortable we feel about the leads. Unless the leads seem “dangerous” e.g., “Hey, honey, come on over here and let me show you a great job opportunity.”, I think we have to swallow our fears, pride, embarrassment, discomfort, etc. and go for it. We have to be willing to step outside of our comfort zone.

 

[Anglewannabe]

.

Why would “Nancy” send your cover letter? Is she a headhunter? Or some kind of other employment specialist? .

Nancy is not a head hunter. She is someone I met at professional networking events. She is always studying and has more master and PHds than anyone I know. She has spent 10+ years working for her father’s company that employs her and 2-3 other people. I met her around 8 years ago and all she talked about was the better job she is looking for yet has not moved from her father’s company in all that time. If she has not moved from her dad’s company, I wonder how much she knows about getting a job.

.
If Nancy is a headhunter, you realize that she receives payment for finding people for companies. That would explain why she is working so hard to convince you to apply for the job. .

Again, Nancy is not a headhunter. She studies so much, her only social outlets are business meetings. I suspect she is very lonely and uses these opportunities to make friends. I think she is partly using this job as an excuse to call me since she spent so much time talking about things irrelevant to the job.

. Also, if she’s a headhunter, she has ways to find out things about you. That’s where she “gets those ideas.”.

Again, she is not a head hunter. I suspect she might have heard me make comments and jumped to conclusions. Nancy can be very argumentative. For example, in Canada, if your employer pays for you to take a course, you must pay income tax on the course. I did not realize this until it happened to me. I was talking at a business supper with someone and telling them that. Nancy sits at the table at the opposite end of me in the middle of the conversation and interrupts in a loud voice ‘NO COURSE ARE TAX DEDUCTIONS’ and then starts a big argument about business write off when I was talking about personal taxes. She is one of those people who only listens to a few words and then jumps to conclusions.

. Why wouldn’t you send your own cover letter and resume? This is what I don’t understand about your post. I would never allow someone to send a cover letter and resume for me, unless that person was a headhunter that I had personally hired.

I never heard about this job. I have googled the location and industry and now suspect I know what company it is. They only employ 55 people and don’t even have their own website. The job is not posted on the internet. I suspect the manager decided to call his contacts instead of posting the job. If Nancy does not send my resume by Monday, I will send it myself. However they will want to know how I found out about it and I will have to tell them Nancy told me. They will probably call Nancy for reference and that is why I don’t want to ruffle Nancy’s feathers.

.
Thank you for clarifying this. I’m probably just missing something here…

With all due respect, I think you did jump to the wrong conclusion the way you assumed Nancy was a head hunter.

. From what I’ve read so far in your story–unless your clarifications shed a different light on it–I would say that in this economy, we have to go for any lead, no matter how personally uncomfortable we feel about the leads. Unless the leads seem “dangerous” e.g., “Hey, honey, come on over here and let me show you a great job opportunity.”, I think we have to swallow our fears, pride, embarrassment, discomfort, etc. and go for it. We have to be willing to step outside of our comfort zone.

And yes this lead does seem dangerous not in the sense that it is illegal or immoral, but in the sense that Nancy is a very difficult person and I can easily get my feelings hurt. After all, why would she talk me into applying for the job and then tell me about all the other people she thinks would be better qualified? I feel she is leading me on and getting a jolt out of it.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

I think your first response was spot on: thanks for thinking of me, but no thanks. It doesn’t seem that Nancy has any more skill at job hunting.

There is no harm in sending your resume to a company even if they don’t have a job opening posted. If they ask you can say you heard through your networking group.

I will say a prayer for your employment. Two years out of work is very difficult.

 

[underacloud]

Someone - who is not a professional headhunter - wants to help you find a job?

And you think they are inconsiderate?



She took up only 20 minutes of your time on the phone, including offering what she thinks are helpful suggestions, in an effort to potentially help you find employment, and you find that somehow galling. I think you should cut “Nancy” some slack and either gratefully accept her help or politely decline it.

If you think this is a ruse for her to try to make friends, again cut her some slack. You don’t have to be friends with people, but don’t get upset that others want to be your friend. If you don’t want to talk to her, you should consider doing a better job of screening your calls.

 

[Anglewannabe]

Someone - who is not a professional headhunter - wants to help you find a job?

And you think they are inconsiderate?

.

The way Nancy went about was very inconsiderate. I originally said ‘no’, she called me up to talk me into changing my mind and then told me 'I will think if I will send you resume or someone else’s.

Getting a persons hopes up only to turn around and crush them is always inconsiderate

 

[underacloud]

The way Nancy went about was very inconsiderate. I originally said ‘no’, she called me up to talk me into changing my mind and then told me 'I will think if I will send you resume or someone else’s.

Getting a persons hopes up only to turn around and crush them is always inconsiderate

Perhaps because you originally said no, and then resisted the suggestion to amend your resume or cover letter to highlight particular skills and make them more relevant to this specific job, she thought that you were not very interested.

Perhaps Nancy was concerned that sending in your resume might reflect badly on her if they were to call you and you were not interested.

Perhaps Nancy didn’t quite consider how all this might raise your hopes and then crush them, but she’s still thinking of you and trying to help.

I think you should cut Nancy some slack here. You make out as though she’s deliberately trying to torment you. If you really think that is the case, don’t take her calls. As I suggested, you should consider becoming better at call screening.

 

[Anglewannabe]

Perhaps because you originally said no, and then resisted the suggestion to amend your resume or cover letter to highlight particular skills and make them more relevant to this specific job, she thought that you were not very interested.

She could have plainly said ‘It doesn’t sound like you are interested, I no longer feel comfortable sending in your resume’ But to tell me about all the other people she was considering instead of me was not necessary especially because she was using the names of people she knows I know

Perhaps Nancy was concerned that sending in your resume might reflect badly on her if they were to call you and you were not interested…

Again, she could have simply said she was no longer comfortable sending in my resume

Perhaps Nancy didn’t quite consider how all this might raise your hopes and then crush them, but she’s still thinking of you and trying to help.

Regardless, her behaviour was not appropriate. Please read the response I gave to CAT and how I talked about how she can be a difficult person the way she screams across a table and interrupts conversations.

 

[JimG]

It’s been awhile since I’ve been job hunting, so maybe this is just a generational difference. But when I was job hunting, I never turned down any lead, no matter how unlikely. And I never told a potential employer that I didn’t have the required skills to do a job. Rather, I tried to convince them that I could do whatever job was being offered. And I often tailored my resume to fit the job being applied for. Most jobs that I got were ones that I had never done before; but in almost any job one learns by doing. Whenever a hiring manager turned me down, I asked if he knew of other places which might be hiring, and I got some good leads, and a job, that way.

 

[underacloud]

Regardless, her behaviour was not appropriate. Please read the response I gave to CAT and how I talked about how she can be a difficult person the way she screams across a table and interrupts conversations.

I read your reply to CAT. That’s fine. We don’t have to be friends with everyone who wants to be our friend. If you don’t enjoy this woman’s company then simply try to avoid it, including phone calls.

Keep in mind that if you accept a favour from her, it will be hard to not feel indebted to her.

 

[Anglewannabe]

It’s been awhile since I’ve been job hunting, so maybe this is just a generational difference. But when I was job hunting, I never turned down any lead, no matter how unlikely.

I changed my mind and let her send in my resume so I haven’t turn this down. I just resent having to put up with a very difficult person. She has left me a few voice mails and I have replied via email since as I said before, she is hard to deal with.

And I never told a potential employer that I didn’t have the required skills to do a job. Rather, I tried to convince them that I could do whatever job was being offered.

This woman wanted me to put things on my resume that would be blatant lies. The employer would know first day I am on the job that I never used the same software they use. That would really make me look bad

 

[Anglewannabe]

Keep in mind that if you accept a favour from her, it will be hard to not feel indebted to her.

Yes I 100% agree with what you are saying here. And that is where my whole dilemma lies. In this economy and in my current situation I can not afford to turn down job leads. But it is my concern that I will now ‘owe’ her my friendship. Perhaps that is why I take her calls… subconsciously I feel I owe it to her.

Anyway, my first post came right after I got off the phone with her so it was coming from the heat of the moment

Angie

 

[CAROLOFTHEBELLS]

Angie,

I have been unemployed for longer than you and I really understand where you are coming from. Just wanted to tell you that.

Best of luck to you.

 

[Pax2u]

It’s been awhile since I’ve been job hunting, so maybe this is just a generational difference. But when I was job hunting, I never turned down any lead, no matter how unlikely. And I never told a potential employer that I didn’t have the required skills to do a job. Rather, I tried to convince them that I could do whatever job was being offered. And I often tailored my resume to fit the job being applied for. Most jobs that I got were ones that I had never done before; but in almost any job one learns by doing. Whenever a hiring manager turned me down, I asked if he knew of other places which might be hiring, and I got some good leads, and a job, that way.

JimG’s response is spot on. If you need work you go after every lead, and never assume you can’t do a job…if you get to the interview process then those who hire have decided you could potentially handle what it entails. You need to focus on selling yourself, and rise above hurt feelings.

 

[JimG]

JimG’s response is spot on. If you need work you go after every lead, and never assume you can’t do a job…if you get to the interview process then those who hire have decided you could potentially handle what it entails. You need to focus on selling yourself, and rise above hurt feelings.

A little off topic, but once I accepted a job in a different city in a field I had never worked in. We moved within two weeks, and got an apt in the new city. I told my wife, “I don’t know if I can even do this job!” But after a few days, I learned it, and it turned out to be my major career!

 

[Irishmom2]

I would let her do whatever she is doing with this resume, but I would decline politely any further offers for help from Nancy.

 

[Cat]

With all due respect, I think you did jump to the wrong conclusion the way you assumed Nancy was a head hunter.

I didn’t assume she was a headhunter. I asked, “Is she a headhunter?”

 

[Anglewannabe]

JimG’s response is spot on. If you need work you go after every lead, and never assume you can’t do a job…if you get to the interview process then those who hire have decided you could potentially handle what it entails. You need to focus on selling yourself, and rise above hurt feelings.

It is responses like this that make it so hard to be unemployed. People are so insensitive. God gave me reason and I know when a lead is good and when it is most probably a dead end. I will not be so ignorant to think I can do a job I do not have the qualification for. If you lie to a company once, they will remember you forever. It is better to be honest about your abilities than to burn your bridges with a reputable company.

It is as you are implying that someone who has never been to medical school can apply for a job as a doctor and do it Doesn’t work that way

 

[Anglewannabe]

A little off topic, but once I accepted a job in a different city in a field I had never worked in. We moved within two weeks, and got an apt in the new city. I told my wife, “I don’t know if I can even do this job!” But after a few days, I learned it, and it turned out to be my major career!

If a job can be learned in a few days, it is not a job that requires a lot of background

 

[CAROLOFTHEBELLS]

Going after every lead is like chasing chickens expecting to catch one.