Possibly relocating for work

  • Thread starter Thread starter runningdude
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
R

runningdude

Guest
So, I am at a crossroads in life, and I am doing something quite rare for me, asking for prayers and advise. Usually, I am the one giving advice, but I am feeling stuck.

I am somewhere between finishing grad school, and getting a job in the transportation/civil engineering field. There are a handful of positions open, but all in neighboring states. I am starting to accept that I may need to relocate, and I am feeling both excited and nervous.

I feel a great deal of loyalty to my home state of Connecticut, and my home town in particular. I also feel a great deal of safety in familiar surroundings, and also wanted to stay close to my family. However, I also need to be employed, so I can be more ready to start a family of my own, which I discerned sometime ago as my vocation.

One job, which I am slightly over-qualified for, is about 2 hours away from home, but is generally only 4 days a week, and is in a generally affordable city. The flexibility of having Fridays off is appealing, as I can easily travel home to visit, and have amble to time to finish my studies on weekends.

If I get the job, I would likely accept. However, I may also need to negotiate a start date a few months out in December, as I am kind of stuck in a part-time job for the remainder of the academic semester. The job is through my school, and I would like to leave on good terms. This is also speculative, as I have not even interviewed for the job, yet.

I guess I am looking for advice about first time jobs, relocating, leaving existing employment, etc, as well as prayers and well wishes. I don’t really expect a tutorial, but some anecdotes about others experiences would be helpful. Thank you.

-RD
 
Praying to the Holy Spirit for you to secure employment & for your intentions.
 
runningdude said:
So, I am at a crossroads in life, and I am doing something quite rare for me, asking for prayers and advise. Usually, I am the one giving advice, but I am feeling stuck.

I am somewhere between finishing grad school, and getting a job in the transportation/civil engineering field. There are a handful of positions open, but all in neighboring states. I am starting to accept that I may need to relocate, and I am feeling both excited and nervous.

I feel a great deal of loyalty to my home state of Connecticut, and my home town in particular. I also feel a great deal of safety in familiar surroundings, and also wanted to stay close to my family. However, I also need to be employed, so I can be more ready to start a family of my own, which I discerned sometime ago as my vocation.

One job, which I am slightly over-qualified for, is about 2 hours away from home, but is generally only 4 days a week, and is in a generally affordable city. The flexibility of having Fridays off is appealing, as I can easily travel home to visit, and have amble to time to finish my studies on weekends.

If I get the job, I would likely accept. However, I may also need to negotiate a start date a few months out in December, as I am kind of stuck in a part-time job for the remainder of the academic semester. The job is through my school, and I would like to leave on good terms. This is also speculative, as I have not even interviewed for the job, yet.

I guess I am looking for advice about first time jobs, relocating, leaving existing employment, etc, as well as prayers and well wishes. I don’t really expect a tutorial, but some anecdotes about others experiences would be helpful. Thank you.

-RD
Click to expand...
I just moved across the country for grad school. It’s terrifying, but also one of best experiences I’ve ever had: I get to spend time discovering new facets of my personality that have surfaced from the move (and being away from everyone and everything I’ve known), trying new hobbies, and getting to know new people and a whole new culture.

I would wait to really think about it until you have the job offers: you can’t discern until you have the options, right? Then pray about it. For me, it was very clear that God was not pulling me in any one direction for grad school: there were multiple options that were good, and He was allowing me to choose what I wanted. So I prayed, asked Him to bless my decision and throw up insurmountable barriers if it was not His will, and moved.

As far as the existing job, most jobs will understand that you’re still finishing graduate school, and will work with you on a start date that doesn’t interfere with your education. So I’d just be honest about that and not be afraid to say that you need to start in December. Most university student jobs also know that their employees won’t stick around after finishing their degree, and are supportive of finding a new job in the “real world!” I’d let them know that you’re on the hunt for a new job now/soon, so that they can decide whether they’d like to hire a replacement, and to give you and the new employee ample time for training and passing off tasks. At the very least, NEVER leave without giving at least two weeks’ notice and wrapping up your projects.

I hope this helps! Prayers for you.
 
blueshells said:
I just moved across the country for grad school. It’s terrifying, but also one of best experiences I’ve ever had: I get to spend time discovering new facets of my personality that have surfaced from the move (and being away from everyone and everything I’ve known), trying new hobbies, and getting to know new people and a whole new culture.

I would wait to really think about it until you have the job offers: you can’t discern until you have the options, right? Then pray about it. For me, it was very clear that God was not pulling me in any one direction for grad school: there were multiple options that were good, and He was allowing me to choose what I wanted. So I prayed, asked Him to bless my decision and throw up insurmountable barriers if it was not His will, and moved.

As far as the existing job, most jobs will understand that you’re still finishing graduate school, and will work with you on a start date that doesn’t interfere with your education. So I’d just be honest about that and not be afraid to say that you need to start in December. Most university student jobs also know that their employees won’t stick around after finishing their degree, and are supportive of finding a new job in the “real world!” I’d let them know that you’re on the hunt for a new job now/soon, so that they can decide whether they’d like to hire a replacement, and to give you and the new employee ample time for training and passing off tasks. At the very least, NEVER leave without giving at least two weeks’ notice and wrapping up your projects.

I hope this helps! Prayers for you.
Click to expand...
Thank you. Your last paragraph in particular is very reassuring. 🙂
 
If you are working part-time at your school and finishing grad school, it is expected that you will be leaving soon. I wouldn’t worry about informing them that you are looking for work. Just give them your 2 weeks notice when you are ready and bon voyage. I am sure the university will roll right along without you (no offense). One thing I have learned is that everybody is replaceable in the corporate world.

Moving to a new location can be a scary thing, but you are young and will make friends. You may have some lonely times, but it doesn’t take long to feel part of a new community. I moved a number of times in my career, especially when I was young.

You mentioned taking a job for which you are overqualified. If that is the best you can find, then go ahead and take it. Or if it gives you some particular experience you need, then it is OK to take a lower position. But I would encourage you to keep looking for a job that will challenge you and pay commensurate to your market worth.

If you want to be a family man; families can be quite expensive. It may be that one day you are the sole or main breadwinner. If the market sees you in a low level position for too long, they may perceive you as lacking ambition and drive. And that can hurt your career prospects more than you might think.

For example, I wanted to change to a different type of engineering job at age 26 with 4 years of work experience in a slightly different type of job. Several hiring managers thought it would be too difficult to make a transition after just 4 years out of school. Just fair warning that time goes by faster the older you get.

Good luck out there.
 
runningdude said:
So, I am at a crossroads in life, and I am doing something quite rare for me, asking for prayers and advise. Usually, I am the one giving advice, but I am feeling stuck.

I am somewhere between finishing grad school, and getting a job in the transportation/civil engineering field. There are a handful of positions open, but all in neighboring states. I am starting to accept that I may need to relocate, and I am feeling both excited and nervous.

I feel a great deal of loyalty to my home state of Connecticut, and my home town in particular. I also feel a great deal of safety in familiar surroundings, and also wanted to stay close to my family. However, I also need to be employed, so I can be more ready to start a family of my own, which I discerned sometime ago as my vocation.

One job, which I am slightly over-qualified for, is about 2 hours away from home, but is generally only 4 days a week, and is in a generally affordable city. The flexibility of having Fridays off is appealing, as I can easily travel home to visit, and have amble to time to finish my studies on weekends.

If I get the job, I would likely accept. However, I may also need to negotiate a start date a few months out in December, as I am kind of stuck in a part-time job for the remainder of the academic semester. The job is through my school, and I would like to leave on good terms. This is also speculative, as I have not even interviewed for the job, yet.

I guess I am looking for advice about first time jobs, relocating, leaving existing employment, etc, as well as prayers and well wishes. I don’t really expect a tutorial, but some anecdotes about others experiences would be helpful. Thank you.

-RD
Click to expand...
The job 2 hours away sounds like a very good fit.

Good luck!
 
Groo said:
If you are working part-time at your school and finishing grad school, it is expected that you will be leaving soon. I wouldn’t worry about informing them that you are looking for work. Just give them your 2 weeks notice when you are ready and bon voyage. I am sure the university will roll right along without you (no offense). One thing I have learned is that everybody is replaceable in the corporate world.
Click to expand...
That’s very true. If you want to be very generous, give 30 days’ notice. Nobody can say with a straight face, “Runningdude only gave us 30 days’ notice!” if it’s a low-level position.

We’ve settled down starting in our early/mid 30s, but we were highly mobile 20-somethings, and it was fine (I was born in State A, went to college in State B, went abroad with the Peace Corps, went to grad school and met my husband in State C, moved to State D with my husband, moved to DC with my husband and kid, moved to State E with my husband and two kids–it sounds like a lot, but it was actually fine). Once you have a family of your own, home is where your family is. We’ve settled down in a state that neither of us had even visited until my husband got a job there.
 
I have relocated twice in my life for work, one over 2000 kilometers. I had the same fears and excitement both times. I had to leave my family the first time; and had to break up with my girlfriend the second as long distance relations don’t work and she did not want to move to a forsaken place like Brisbane. (Strangely we have remained the best of friends, although I have been married these twenty years.) Both were for more money and I think this should be a good guide. Don’t move for the same money as your possible four day job in your area, as any move is expensive.
I have always traveled in my job, usually all over Australia, but sometimes to facilities I managed in an exec. role in the U.S. Britain, Malaysia etc. so travel back to see my mum was just another flight. You may not have this luxury, but don’t forget Skype.
You have to make new friends and sometimes this is not possible at work, especially if you are in Human Resources, as I was. It is hard to retrench or sack a friend, so not getting too close was a sadness in the job. As soon as you get to your new residence, if your relocation offer does not include a full environmental debriefing eg schools, churches, interest groups, libraries shopping centres, best rental opportunities; do your own research before you move. Always rent for a year to acclimatize yourself. Invite your friends to visit at every opportunity so you don’t lose them. Ring them often. Friendships can fail from distance and must be especially fostered.
Make friends at Church, if you can. I have never made a friend ever in the local parish in all my life. I find them socially sterile like the familiarity of the ten o’clock bus. You know their faces. they sit in the same pews but if you go for a coffee after Mass, expect to stand alone until it gets cold.
Find interest groups surrounding your academic interests. Get referrals from friends of their friends who live in the new area.
I had a ball in every change, including a 12 month assignment away from my wife and child in a coal mining area of the outback. Now that is isolation! Had to fly my family up (at company cost) every four weeks just to keep my wife sane… (Yes Dear, I missed you too…) So always save for travel back to family for special events.
As a man your status and self respect as an eventual provider unfortunately , (until we release ourselves from the tyranny of this feminist society where it is all about them) will dress your manhood within the community. That is not what you are of course. (Only kidding girls.)
However you do need to further your career and this nowadays may require travel as never before. I hope these comments help.
 
Xantippe said:
That’s very true. If you want to be very generous, give 30 days’ notice. Nobody can say with a straight face, “Runningdude only gave us 30 days’ notice!” if it’s a low-level position.

We’ve settled down starting in our early/mid 30s, but we were highly mobile 20-somethings, and it was fine (I was born in State A, went to college in State B, went abroad with the Peace Corps, went to grad school and met my husband in State C, moved to State D with my husband, moved to DC with my husband and kid, moved to State E with my husband and two kids–it sounds like a lot, but it was actually fine). Once you have a family of your own, home is where your family is. We’ve settled down in a state that neither of us had even visited until my husband got a job there.
Click to expand...
I agree that 30 days notice is OK in this case, being a part-time job out of university. But I have never given more than 2 weeks notice and never will. My only exception will be retirement when a longer notice is appropriate.

The dynamic in a work environment changes ounces you give notice. The employer will not be giving you any new assignments. Coworkers know you are leaving. It is just a very uncomfortable (and often boring) environment for that period of time. Two weeks can feel like an eternity, let alone 30 days.

Also there is a risk (small in this case) that the employer will just let you go right then and there with a week or two of pay. If you were counting on 30 days, then that could be painful. People can be very nice to your face, and then when there is nothing more to get out of you their true colors show. Just beware.

No one has ever looked unfavorably on anyone I have worked with for giving two weeks. OP does not have to worry about a bad teference with 2 weeks notice. As articulate and conscientious as OP is, I am certain they will do nothing but wish him well.
 
Groo said:
I agree that 30 days notice is OK in this case, being a part-time job out of university. But I have never given more than 2 weeks notice and never will. My only exception will be retirement when a longer notice is appropriate.

The dynamic in a work environment changes ounces you give notice. The employer will not be giving you any new assignments. Coworkers know you are leaving. It is just a very uncomfortable (and often boring) environment for that period of time. Two weeks can feel like an eternity, let alone 30 days.

Also there is a risk (small in this case) that the employer will just let you go right then and there with a week or two of pay. If you were counting on 30 days, then that could be painful. People can be very nice to your face, and then when there is nothing more to get out of you their true colors show. Just beware.

No one has ever looked unfavorably on anyone I have worked with for giving two weeks. OP does not have to worry about a bad teference with 2 weeks notice. As articulate and conscientious as OP is, I am certain they will do nothing but wish him well.
Click to expand...
I think the OP is probably pretty safe either way as a low-level college employee. When you’re that low on the totem pole, nobody’s going to bother being nice to you if they aren’t actually nice. I totally see how that would work higher up the food chain, though.
 
Petaro said:
I have relocated twice in my life for work, one over 2000 kilometers. I had the same fears and excitement both times. I had to leave my family the first time; and had to break up with my girlfriend the second as long distance relations don’t work and she did not want to move to a forsaken place like Brisbane. (Strangely we have remained the best of friends, although I have been married these twenty years.) Both were for more money and I think this should be a good guide. Don’t move for the same money as your possible four day job in your area, as any move is expensive.
I have always traveled in my job, usually all over Australia, but sometimes to facilities I managed in an exec. role in the U.S. Britain, Malaysia etc. so travel back to see my mum was just another flight. You may not have this luxury, but don’t forget Skype.
You have to make new friends and sometimes this is not possible at work, especially if you are in Human Resources, as I was. It is hard to retrench or sack a friend, so not getting too close was a sadness in the job. As soon as you get to your new residence, if your relocation offer does not include a full environmental debriefing eg schools, churches, interest groups, libraries shopping centres, best rental opportunities; do your own research before you move. Always rent for a year to acclimatize yourself. Invite your friends to visit at every opportunity so you don’t lose them. Ring them often. Friendships can fail from distance and must be especially fostered.
Make friends at Church, if you can. I have never made a friend ever in the local parish in all my life. I find them socially sterile like the familiarity of the ten o’clock bus. You know their faces. they sit in the same pews but if you go for a coffee after Mass, expect to stand alone until it gets cold.
Find interest groups surrounding your academic interests. Get referrals from friends of their friends who live in the new area.
I had a ball in every change, including a 12 month assignment away from my wife and child in a coal mining area of the outback. Now that is isolation! Had to fly my family up (at company cost) every four weeks just to keep my wife sane… (Yes Dear, I missed you too…) So always save for travel back to family for special events.
As a man your status and self respect as an eventual provider unfortunately , (until we release ourselves from the tyranny of this feminist society where it is all about them) will dress your manhood within the community. That is not what you are of course. (Only kidding girls.)
However you do need to further your career and this nowadays may require travel as never before. I hope these comments help.
Click to expand...
Very good advice. I relocated 4 times over the first 10 years of my career. I met my wife at the first relocation and got married there. It has certainly been a good adventure for the two of us. The experience I gained over these first 10 years benefitted my career greatly. It was difficult for us making and keeping friends and being away from family.

Don’t be afraid of a good opportunity that will benefit you. Trust in God and carry on!
 
I went to college 3 hours away from my hometown from which I never moved before (near a major city). After graduation I found one engineering job in my hometown near my extended family and my wife’s extended family. There probably better jobs elsewhere but family was important to me. Now that we have children our extended family is available to help.

You don’t have to necessarily sacrifice this if you move away. You just have to make new family with people you trust. My coworker who moved from another state always has trouble getting a babysitter or help with her child.

I think we could survive if we moved away but we love our family and friend network here too much. I live 5 min from where I grew up and drive 30 min to work one way (my first job I drove 8 min).
 
john1513 said:
You don’t have to necessarily sacrifice this if you move away. You just have to make new family with people you trust. My coworker who moved from another state always has trouble getting a babysitter or help with her child.
Click to expand...
College towns are very good for being able to find bright, responsible, enthusiastic sitters.
 
hi, I can relate. If you are looking for a job in your chosen career (transportation/civil engineering) - with a grad degree - you may have to relocate to get established in the career. I am an engineer - BS and MS degrees - and relocating for the right opportunity is par for the course nowadays. Depends on the employer and the opportunity how much risk you want to take. Maybe do a controlled search - pick areas of the country you would be willing to move to based on data: crime, religion, politics, climate and target employers there. But sometimes for the dream job, you have to be flexible. I think I read in your post you are not married and settled yet. That helps in regards to pain of relocation on the family. I’ve relocated six times now in my career and some were good and some I wish I handn’t of. All the best. And pray about it too.
 
Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement, especially the anecdotes of making moves work, and reassurance that jobs are generally understanding of start dates.

My current job is a front desk attendance/proctor, and I am actually the only employee on duty at my site, which offers classes by teleconference away from the main campus. I would prefer to give as much notice as possible, so replacement could be found.
 
May Saint Joseph intercede on your behalf as you discern your course of action in the months ahead. May you flourish in the position you attain, to the glory of Our Lord.
Amen.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top