Possibly Under Demonic Influence?

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PatrickGerard

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Hello everyone,

I just wanted to share with you an experience I had and I could really use your prayers at the moment. I am a 20 year old male who was born and raised Catholic. I come from a traditionally catholic family and I do take my faith seriously (or rather as much as I can I am by no means a pious man). A little history about me…I have been struggling with pornography. I stumbled upon it as an 11 year old and it has been an issue since. However, this year I’ve really been trying to break free even though it seems impossible. Often times I’ll fall. I try to get up and stay positive but here’s the worst part-

I have committed so much sacrilege.

I try to go to confession as often as I can but if I view pornography on let’s say a Saturday night there isn’t confession and I don’t want to make a scene to my family at mass so I go up and receive the Eucharist unworthily. This just happened recently last mass.

Now on to what happened right now. I was lying here on my bed and I felt a really powerful urge. I told myself it wasn’t worth it and I pictured myself in two ways - one as a triumphant saint and one as a man trapped in a cage. I kept my mind on that picture but something had happened.

I started hearing a word. It started echoing in my mind. Something about the word seemed scary. I didn’t even know this word at all. I started thinking it was a name. I would dare not say it and I will not repeat it here. I typed the word into google and it appeared as the name of a powerful demon. I am not one who usually thinks too much on these things but this is too much of a coincidence, right? Or am I just crazy? Should I speak to a priest?

Either way please pray for me. I feel very uneasy and am even afraid to sleep. I could really use the prayers and God willing, His infinite grace and mercy. Thank you.
 
Hey bud, don’t worry some of us are awake. First I want to say pray this.
St. Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do thou,
O Prince of the heavenly hosts,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan,
and all the evil spirits,
who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls. Amen. .

O glorious prince St. Michael,
chief and commander of the heavenly hosts,
guardian of souls, vanquisher of rebel spirits,
servant in the house of the Divine King
and our admirable conductor,
you who shine with excellence
and superhuman virtue deliver us from all evil,
who turn to you with confidence
and enable us by your gracious protection
to serve God more and more faithfully every day.
 
About the pornography I understand how hard it is to turn away from. I struggled with it for years. While I haven’t viewed it in a long time I am still tempted from time to time.

As scary as what happened seems you can seek solace in God. No matter what God Loves you. I will be online all night if you need someone to talk to.
 
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Thank you for your prayers. Honestly I’ve prayed the St Michael and several Hail Marys and I feel much more at ease (still a little uneasy). It’s given me some time to reflect however. I was cursing the day I discovered pornography and how I wish I can go back it time. What I then realized was there is no way to change the past, only what we can change now. I also realized that this whole addiction has oddly made me appreciate the sacraments and the faith more. In a weird way, I’m becoming a “better” Catholic through sin. I think God can use any bad situation and turn it into grace, for either yourself or others.
 
Speaking with a priest is excellent advice. Having Catholic spiritual warfare prayers handy is also very good. Offered with great faith and hope, they can be very powerful.

Bear in mind that evil will try to influence you, but that God is infinitely more powerful and that the evil one has been defeated, but retains worldly influence until the end of time.

As you focus on God and learn the limitations of the evil one and his slaves (demons), you may very well come to view them as nothing more than an annoyance - in essence, spiritual mosquitoes.

Having said this, bear in mind that temptation to sin is not a sin, but entertaining the suggestion, or giving in to it is sinful. Each time you are tempted, think of it as opening the door to evil - demons must find a way in, and sin leaves your door wide open.
 
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It’s going to be ok! As awful as pornography seems and as overwhelming as it seems it can be beaten. While the temptation may always be there but that is fine as long as you win over it and don’t succumb to it. Do you like to read? If so I suggest reading these two articles from catholic answers. These two articles really help me whenever I feel the temptation.


 
Thank you for the two articles! They were a good read that helped me a lot!
 
Thank you for your advice, po18guy. I unfortunately have failed so many of those temptations in the past. I will do my best to acknowledge the temptation but choose the path of good.
 
You’re welcome! I know how tough the temptation can be but whenever that happens you just need to feed your soul something to give it that extra strength. I suggest to keep these two articles open on tabs in browser so that whenever the temptation hits you will have easy access to these articles and to others as well.
 
I will pray for you, I too am in a very unsettled state where I find it hard to sleep and am very scared.
Please also pray for me. I believe that you can beat these urges and become a better person in the eyes of the Lord, I pray for thee also
 
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Don’t be afraid! God will help if you ask for it. pray to St. Michael for the strength and courage to overcome your fears.
 
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Something in your life, your environment, your thought processes is triggering your urge to sin. Ponder all of the things it might be then…

…remove the trigger.

But - one stimulus, one trigger at a tme, otherwise you may feel overwhelmed and fall back.

The victory will be ultimate, not immediate.
 
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