Practical guidance for adulthood and parenting?

[Kindness]

Hello all. I am a married mother of 3 young children and I am looking for advice and encouragement hopefully in the form of books I can study on how to create a home and raise a family. My background is that I had a wonderful young childhood and fantastic mothering but my dear mother died of cancer when I just turned 13. My father was severely bi-polar and my mother had protected us and shielded us from the effects of my dad’s mental illness. It had become so severe that they were preparing to separate. When my mother died the parenting for my brother and myself ended. From an apparently secure and prosperous family life our lives quickly descended into chaos, due to no parenting or guidance.

Now years later my brother and I are both married with children and my brother owns his own business. Neither of us have ever had an older adult in our lives who has offered any emotional support or guidance and I have done the best I can in the circumstances I find myself. I have a husband who tells me he loves me every day and is a very hard worker and great provider for our family. However, I struggle with creating routines in my household and knowing what to prioritize. My children are healthy and do well in school but I often feel like I am “making it up as I go” regarding being an adult and a parent. I have read some Catholic books but many have the tendency to present a romantic view of motherhood to the point where the illustrations are from the Victorian era. I do not find them helpful or inspiring.

I know I am not the only adult who grew up in a chaotic and non-parented environment. Are there books that have helped you with organization and growing in maturity? The only book so far that I think will help me with raising my children is “Created for Work: Practical Insights for Young Men” by Bob Schultz. He is Protestant and the bible quotes are from the King James Version, but nothing I have read contradicts Catholic teaching. He gives concrete, practical advice on raising boys (which would be helpful to girls and adults too) as Christians in a modern world. Is there anything similar for Catholics? Thank you and may God bless you today.

 

[dashso40]

Hello, I don’t know of any books off hand, but someone in the social group “Good Grief”, may be able to help you in that matter, b/c I know there are people in that group who have lost parents, some at a young age like you…We have a great Christian book store around us that has a great Catholic section…now you don’t live around me but you could probably find books from the internet…I know this site has books on parenting…Good Luck and try the Good Grief group…God bless you

 

[Em_in_FL]

First off… I’m so sorry you had to go through that as a child - I couldn’t imagine.

Are there any groups at your Parish for Moms? Maybe a ministry where you could just spend time with other Catholic mothers and pick their brains on a personal level? Sometimes the advice is so much more practical and loving when it comes from an actual person and not from a book.
If there aren’t any groups at your Parish… maybe consider starting one?

But… if it’s any consolation - even though I was raised in a VERY stable home growing up… I still feel like I’m making things up as I go along - on a daily basis. So some of that just is the nature of parenthood.

God bless you and your family…