Practicalities of wearing a mantilla

  • Thread starter Thread starter odile53
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
O

odile53

Guest
I don’t know if I’m looking for suggestions, or just venting here. I went to an EF Mass today, replete with triangle mantilla. High winds prevented me from securing it adequately and neatly in the car, anyways, I was concerned about missing the start of Mass. So I sprinted into the church, stashing the car keys with one hand and digging out the bobby pins with the other.

I generally wear my hair in a high chignon. Try as I might, I couldn’t get that silly mantilla on so that it wasn’t either a) dangling in my face, Cousin Itt style (if anyone remembers the Addams Family!,) or b) with it flopping toward the back of my head. Five bobby pins later, all of which seemed stuck straight into my scalp, the front of that annoying piece of lace was near my hairline and secured so the sides wouldn’t dangle in my face. Naturally, I ended up getting a headache from the five bobby pins along my hairline.

Hey, I want to be reverent, I want to be in conformity with the generally accepted standard of veiled modesty at the EF Mass, and maybe even (if I can get more comfortable with it) start wearing it to the OF Mass, but that mantilla was more a distracting annoyance than a statement of faith.

I have to be doing something wrong. Ladies, what is it?

HELLLPPP!!!
 
ah yes bobby pins
and hairpins, does anyone remember that lost art?
mantillas, the long ones, used to come with combs for the purpose of security, which are not much use on short hair, sadly, nor are hairpins for that matter
 
I have never worn a mantilla so I cannot comment on that aspect but might I suggest you look into other forms of veiling? I cover my hair for mass (OF) using a plain scarf, it’s easy to wear and doesn’t require securing with pins and personally I don’t find it distracting or fussy. Mantillas are very beautiful but they’re not the only option.

Also, there is a social group called Veiled In Grace. The women there are very helpful and there may be some who have had similar experiences and can offer suggestions.
 
I have a large mantilla because I have a large head.😛
Anyway, I do not put mine on outside, i wait until I am inside in the gathering space. I do not enter the part of the church where the pews are (I forget if this area has a special name or not) without my mantilla on. I do not need any hair pins because I have so much lace it stays in place well enough.
Perhaps you just need a scarf or a larger mantilla.
I hope you find a solution to your problem.

God bless,
~Rae
 
When I wore a smaller mantilla, I used a few clip type barrettes to secure it in place. Now that I bought a larger one, I don’t worry about having to secure it in place as its more of a scarf, and stays in place.

BTW, the Veiled in Grace group is great, and everyone is great there.
 
odile53 said:
I don’t know if I’m looking for suggestions, or just venting here. I went to an EF Mass today, replete with triangle mantilla. High winds prevented me from securing it adequately and neatly in the car, anyways, I was concerned about missing the start of Mass. So I sprinted into the church, stashing the car keys with one hand and digging out the bobby pins with the other.

I generally wear my hair in a high chignon. Try as I might, I couldn’t get that silly mantilla on so that it wasn’t either a) dangling in my face, Cousin Itt style (if anyone remembers the Addams Family!,) or b) with it flopping toward the back of my head. Five bobby pins later, all of which seemed stuck straight into my scalp, the front of that annoying piece of lace was near my hairline and secured so the sides wouldn’t dangle in my face. Naturally, I ended up getting a headache from the five bobby pins along my hairline.

Hey, I want to be reverent, I want to be in conformity with the generally accepted standard of veiled modesty at the EF Mass, and maybe even (if I can get more comfortable with it) start wearing it to the OF Mass, but that mantilla was more a distracting annoyance than a statement of faith.

I have to be doing something wrong. Ladies, what is it?

HELLLPPP!!!
Click to expand...
Thank God he didn’t make me a woman. 🙂

Don’t wear a veil or wear a hat.
 
A friend of mine passed this tip to me:

She sewed a piece of Velcro --the hook side-- into the middle of her round chapel veil. The piece was only about an inch, and matched the color of the veil.

It worked for me, because my hair is way too fine and slick for a bobby pin, but the little hooks kept the veil right in place.

Now I wear a long, mantilla veil, and wrap it around my shoulders to keep it on.

Because of the high winds in this area, I, too, don’t veil until I’m safely in the vestibule.
 
I don’t put it on in the car, invariably it gets messed up before I get into church. Instead, especially if it’s windy I wait and put it on after I enter the narthex.
 
My wife has one from veils by Lilly, they will sew a comb into the front for you making it quick and easy to put in and eliminating the need for bobby pins. My wife loves it, and we have two little kids that will yank at it sometimes and the comb keeps it in. Plus Lilly is a pregnant stay at home mother of 3 and she hand makes each mantilla. Here’s a link to her website: veilsbylily.com/
 
odile53 said:
I don’t know if I’m looking for suggestions, or just venting here. I went to an EF Mass today, replete with triangle mantilla. High winds prevented me from securing it adequately and neatly in the car, anyways, I was concerned about missing the start of Mass. So I sprinted into the church, stashing the car keys with one hand and digging out the bobby pins with the other.

I generally wear my hair in a high chignon. Try as I might, I couldn’t get that silly mantilla on so that it wasn’t either a) dangling in my face, Cousin Itt style (if anyone remembers the Addams Family!,) or b) with it flopping toward the back of my head. Five bobby pins later, all of which seemed stuck straight into my scalp, the front of that annoying piece of lace was near my hairline and secured so the sides wouldn’t dangle in my face. Naturally, I ended up getting a headache from the five bobby pins along my hairline.

Hey, I want to be reverent, I want to be in conformity with the generally accepted standard of veiled modesty at the EF Mass, and maybe even (if I can get more comfortable with it) start wearing it to the OF Mass, but that mantilla was more a distracting annoyance than a statement of faith.

I have to be doing something wrong. Ladies, what is it?

HELLLPPP!!!
Click to expand...
That sounds frustrating. Once at mass a woman didn’t have any bobby pins and her mantilla kept slipping backward and I could tell she was getting really frustrated.

You could try taking a little jar of hairspray and after putting the bobby pin in where you want it, spray the spot where the bobby pin is. I have had to do that before.
 
My wife does sometimes wear a mantilla but she also had difficulty getting to sit correctly. Normally, she wears what would be more of a scarf or wrap as her head covering.

That is important to remember. The tradition is a woman covering her head. A mantilla is one way to do that but far from the only way. As far as I can tell the mantilla started being used in the 16th century, and became very popular in the US because Jackie Kennedy wore one.

Nothing wrong with mantillas, however don’t stress if some other form of veiling is more practical for you.

Pax
 
I quit veiling after a woman in church took it upon herself to ask me if I was a virgin (I’m young and was wearing a black mantilla. gasp!), but what I used to do since bobby pins slide out of my fine hair, is:
  1. Get four of these hair clips,
    http://bios.weddingbee.com/pics/121334/hairclip.gif
Place them in your hair so that you have two crosses evenly spaced at the top of your head. It works best if you fully inter-lock them. These will serve as anchor-points.
  1. Place your mantilla on top of your head and make it even.
  2. Take two bobby-pins, one for each anchor. Stick each one in through the mantilla and the anchor with the non-straight side down (it helps the bobby-pin to stay in place).
Voila! Your mantilla is securely attached to your head. Not even the grabby toddler sitting behind you will be able to yank it off your head (Been there, Done That. It lasted.)
 
Deo_Gratias42 said:
I quit veiling after a woman in church took it upon herself to ask me if I was a virgin (I’m young and was wearing a black mantilla. gasp!), but what I used to do since bobby pins slide out of my fine hair, is:
  1. Get four of these hair clips,
    http://bios.weddingbee.com/pics/121334/hairclip.gif
Place them in your hair so that you have two crosses evenly spaced at the top of your head. It works best if you fully inter-lock them. These will serve as anchor-points.
  1. Place your mantilla on top of your head and make it even.
  2. Take two bobby-pins, one for each anchor. Stick each one in through the mantilla and the anchor with the non-straight side down (it helps the bobby-pin to stay in place).
Voila! Your mantilla is securely attached to your head. Not even the grabby toddler sitting behind you will be able to yank it off your head (Been there, Done That. It lasted.)
Click to expand...
You should not allow that to let you stop veiling, I would have told that lady to mind her freakin’ business. Veiling is such a good thing that many Catholic women don’t do anymore.
 
paul11b said:
You should not allow that to let you stop veiling, I would have told that lady to mind her freakin’ business. Veiling is such a good thing that many Catholic women don’t do anymore.
Click to expand...
It was more me feeling exceptionally uncomfortable with the fact that I was noticed and singled out in a fairly large congregation that made me stop veiling. Given that veiling is supposed to be a sign of humility and a way for women to not attract attention to herself during Mass, I kind of figured it was defeating its purpose.
 
odile53 said:
Don’t the little hooks rip at your hair?
Click to expand...
That’s the whole idea of it. They grip on, like tiny teeth, keeping the veil on top of my head. Works great for my fine hair ane with small veils. Of course, when I take it off, I have to smooth down my hair a bit, but then, I have to smooth down my hair when I take my long, wrap around my shoulders mantilla off, too.
 
Deo_Gratias42 said:
It was more me feeling exceptionally uncomfortable with the fact that I was noticed and singled out in a fairly large congregation that made me stop veiling. Given that veiling is supposed to be a sign of humility and a way for women to not attract attention to herself during Mass, I kind of figured it was defeating its purpose.
Click to expand...
I can see where you’re coming from, but just because you are the only one who is doing what is right, don’t let everyone else, who is wrong, stop you from doing what is right. Check out this article on the subject: fisheaters.com/theveil.html . It’s not like you have to wear a long veil, just a little one, or anything that covers your head is veiling. It’s just sad that the church has become so modern that they make a good Catholic like you, who is doing what she is supposed to be doing, feel like you’re wrong, when they are wrong.
 
Almost all the women in my parish veil, as we did when I was a kid in the 1960s. Some of them prefer hats, as my Mom did.
 
paul11b said:
I can see where you’re coming from, but just because you are the only one who is doing what is right, don’t let everyone else, who is wrong, stop you from doing what is right. Check out this article on the subject: fisheaters.com/theveil.html . It’s not like you have to wear a long veil, just a little one, or anything that covers your head is veiling. It’s just sad that the church has become so modern that they make a good Catholic like you, who is doing what she is supposed to be doing, feel like you’re wrong, when they are wrong.
Click to expand...
I wasn’t the only person veiling. I attend a parish with the EF celebrated by the FSSP where this happened. Ironically enough, I started veiling at my uber liberal parish over the summer, and no one seemed to care. I love the EF, and my parish, but it’s little things like this which make me have second thoughts.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top