L
lynnehelen
Guest
The antibiotics began working almost instantly on my stomach infection and I am feeling much better.
In the course of all this terror and strife I came tonight to peace and a new perspective.
For tonight I feel to my knees and realized that it was STILL all about the two abortions I had.
I finally came to repentence in truth and tears, and then I realized I still hadn’t really repented in truth of the first abortion, either, which I thought I was okay about, and did so in a second, I still cried for that child, too.
I thank God for the three people who steered me in the right direction about those abortions. I was defensive about them at first, even though I knew, or felt, I was going to Hell.
A woman at a crisis pregnancy counselling center who my born-again Christian friend in Pennyslvania led me to years ago prayed over me and counselled me about post-abortion syndrome, and I had all the symptoms. I kept in touch with her for awhile. She gave me information about an annotated Bible I read for along time which led me down a wrong path but helped me in its own way.
I also talked to a Priest in Maryland, who let me understand that it wouldn’t just go away, that I would be living with this, that it wasn’t okay. That made me angry at the time, even though he reassured me that it probably wasn’t mortal sin because of the medications I was taking. That was back in 1995. In 1997 I talked to a counselor, a wise man whom I will always love, who said, no, that’s wrong, when i brought up the abortions. He was very supportive but let me understand that I had done wrong.
It has been a long journey, but now I see my marriage (issues there, but I won’t go there right now), and my relationship with my 18-year old son and his problems, differently.
So I pray for blessings on these 3 people, 4, actually, if I count Lynda, my born-again Christian friend who was also severely mentally ill. She lied to me about certain things and led me incorrectly, and I blamed her, but I will pray about forgiving her. It was her phone call and her misguided fear of sexuality and men that helped to precipitate my hateful decision in having the first abortion instead of seeing a doctor first, as I and the baby were very ill. I don’t want to blame her, but I still don’t know how to think about this, as that phone call triggered a certain kind of reaction I was subject to at that time and left me in a panic when I was very scared and trying to figure what to do.
So please pray for Lynda, she is a manic depressive whom I knew from the state hospital who found Jesus when she was a little girl but was very confused and ostracized by the church. We were very close at one time. She moved from Pennsylvania to Arizona with her parents and we lost touch.
I pray I will continue to find peace and healing and that my situation with my husband will work out and that my son will find the Truth and leave mj behind. Thank you for all the time and love you have shared with me, all who have answered my prayer requests.
Also, God bless and keep my lawyers, and guide all of us in this situation to a rightful outcome.
I have left out my parents–I changed their status from “no further contact” to “indefinite probation” in my life, as I realized that, although I do not want them to persist in their efforts to assist me, it wasn’t their fault how things went after I left with Alex–it’s between me and him. Please continue to pray to St. Michael Archangel for me, as I still feel the presence of evil around me.
In the course of all this terror and strife I came tonight to peace and a new perspective.
For tonight I feel to my knees and realized that it was STILL all about the two abortions I had.
I finally came to repentence in truth and tears, and then I realized I still hadn’t really repented in truth of the first abortion, either, which I thought I was okay about, and did so in a second, I still cried for that child, too.
I thank God for the three people who steered me in the right direction about those abortions. I was defensive about them at first, even though I knew, or felt, I was going to Hell.
A woman at a crisis pregnancy counselling center who my born-again Christian friend in Pennyslvania led me to years ago prayed over me and counselled me about post-abortion syndrome, and I had all the symptoms. I kept in touch with her for awhile. She gave me information about an annotated Bible I read for along time which led me down a wrong path but helped me in its own way.
I also talked to a Priest in Maryland, who let me understand that it wouldn’t just go away, that I would be living with this, that it wasn’t okay. That made me angry at the time, even though he reassured me that it probably wasn’t mortal sin because of the medications I was taking. That was back in 1995. In 1997 I talked to a counselor, a wise man whom I will always love, who said, no, that’s wrong, when i brought up the abortions. He was very supportive but let me understand that I had done wrong.
It has been a long journey, but now I see my marriage (issues there, but I won’t go there right now), and my relationship with my 18-year old son and his problems, differently.
So I pray for blessings on these 3 people, 4, actually, if I count Lynda, my born-again Christian friend who was also severely mentally ill. She lied to me about certain things and led me incorrectly, and I blamed her, but I will pray about forgiving her. It was her phone call and her misguided fear of sexuality and men that helped to precipitate my hateful decision in having the first abortion instead of seeing a doctor first, as I and the baby were very ill. I don’t want to blame her, but I still don’t know how to think about this, as that phone call triggered a certain kind of reaction I was subject to at that time and left me in a panic when I was very scared and trying to figure what to do.
So please pray for Lynda, she is a manic depressive whom I knew from the state hospital who found Jesus when she was a little girl but was very confused and ostracized by the church. We were very close at one time. She moved from Pennsylvania to Arizona with her parents and we lost touch.
I pray I will continue to find peace and healing and that my situation with my husband will work out and that my son will find the Truth and leave mj behind. Thank you for all the time and love you have shared with me, all who have answered my prayer requests.
Also, God bless and keep my lawyers, and guide all of us in this situation to a rightful outcome.
I have left out my parents–I changed their status from “no further contact” to “indefinite probation” in my life, as I realized that, although I do not want them to persist in their efforts to assist me, it wasn’t their fault how things went after I left with Alex–it’s between me and him. Please continue to pray to St. Michael Archangel for me, as I still feel the presence of evil around me.