Pray for me to find out the root cause of my low self-esteem and remove it completely

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BlueCichlid

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I tend to suffer from a deep rooted insecurity that I have had since I was a small child. It is the root cause of virtually all my psychological and spiritual problems including envy and resentment, narcissistic tendencies, and low self-confidence. Almost all of my problems can be solved if I get rid of my insecurity, but I am not sure what exactly is causing it.

Please pray that I will be able to find out what it is and to be able to fix it.
 
I’m with you; I’ll be praying for you. It takes a lot of courage to admit to this and you’ve done a good thing in doing so.
 
Could it have been because the adults in your life would not allow you to try anything? You could have been discouraged from getting involved in activities, not allowed to join clubs or whatever.
Sometimes it makes one think - - what would your life be like if you were allowed to try different things. There are young geniuses out there who went to college at at 12 or 13 because they were just too advanced to go to high school.

A fact I am aware of was that a woman I knew felt a sense of not being good enough because she lived during the Great Depression and never had anything. She was always envious of those who had nice furniture, etc. One can never be at peace with themselves that way.

Dear Lord, help us to understand our own self-worth and that Your love suffices.

.
 
It may be due to the fact that I have autism, but it seems that my insecurity problems are backed up by resentment towards God. In fact, just today, I was thinking of the fact that God designed me this way and immediately I felt furious and felt like smashing a crucifix with a sledgehammer just to spite Him. Don’t worry though, I didn’t smash anything, I just felt like doing so, but I found a way to escape my anger.
 
Arizona_Fat_Gir said:
Could it have been because the adults in your life would not allow you to try anything? You could have been discouraged from getting involved in activities, not allowed to join clubs or whatever.
Sometimes it makes one think - - what would your life be like if you were allowed to try different things. There are young geniuses out there who went to college at at 12 or 13 because they were just too advanced to go to high school.

A fact I am aware of was that a woman I knew felt a sense of not being good enough because she lived during the Great Depression and never had anything. She was always envious of those who had nice furniture, etc. One can never be at peace with themselves that way.

Dear Lord, help us to understand our own self-worth and that Your love suffices.

.
Click to expand...
It may be due to the fact that I have autism, but it seems that my insecurity problems are backed up by resentment towards God. In fact, just today, I was thinking of the fact that God designed me this way and immediately I felt furious and felt like smashing a crucifix with a sledgehammer just to spite Him. Don’t worry though, I didn’t smash anything, I just felt like doing so, but I found a way to escape my anger.
 
Hail, Mary, full of grace! The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen!
 
Praying that God will send you the necessary resources to help you overcome your low self esteem. That’s a tough cross to bear and I have been there.

Mary.
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

For Help in Trials

Most holy apostle St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the name of the traitor who delivered your beloved Master into the hands of His enemies has caused you to be forgotten by many. But the Church honors and invokes you universally as the patron of hopeless cases–of things despaired of. Pray for me who feels so hopeless. Make use, I implore you, of that particular privilege accorded to you of bringing visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come to my assistance in this great need, that I may receive the consolations and succor of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations and sufferings, in particular (BlueCichlid), and that I may bless God with you and all the elect throughout eternity. I promise you, O Blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor, and I will never cease to honor you as my special and powerful patron, and to do all in my power to encourage devotion to you. Amen.

†

Prayer to Our Lady of Mental Peace

O Lady of Mental Peace,
Mother of Tranquility
and Mother of Hope,
look upon BlueCichlid in this time
of weakness and unrest.

Teach her searching heart
to know that God’s Love
for her is unchanging and
unchangeable, and, that
true human love can only
begin and grow by touching
His Love.

Let your gentle Peace -
which this world cannot give
  • be always with her.
    And, help her to bring this
    same Peace into the lives
    of others.
Our Lady of Mental Peace,
  • Pray for us!
    Amen.
Jesus, Help Me!

In every need let me come to You with humble trust,
saying:
Jesus, help me!
In all my doubts, perplexities, and temptations:
Jesus, help me!
In hours of loneliness, weariness and trials:
Jesus, help me!
In the failure of my plans and hopes, in disappointments,
troubles and sorrows:
Jesus, help me!
When others fail me, and Your Grace alone can assist me:
Jesus, help me!
When I throw myself on Your tender Love as Savior:
Jesus, help me!
When my heart is cast down by failure, at seeing no good
come from my efforts:
Jesus, help me!
When I feel impatient, and my cross irritates me:
Jesus, help me!
When I am ill, and my head and hands cannot work and
I am lonely:
Jesus, help me!

Always, always, in spite of weakness, falls and short-
comings of every kind:
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, help me and never forsake me!

Amen

†
 
I understand your pain because I had similar problems years ago, although i don’t know how old you are now. Part of the problem is seeking validation from others; that validation could include having a romantic partnership, gainful employment, the personal independence of an adult instead of having to live with your parents because you can’t afford not to, etc.

I will pray for you, but I do want to share some things with you. You mentioned that you got angry with God and were tempted to take a sledge hammer to a crucifix. As you know, this would not hurt God, and although it may have made you feel better while doing it, we all know that such an act would NOT solve your problems, which is ultimately what you want.

That said: take comfort that many of the Old Testament prophets also got angry with God, accusing Him of being a negligent parent, of being a mean master to His servants, and of duping them into being the laughingstock of the community. This did not stop any of them from being great prophets or being loved by God; in fact this anger is a testament to their own humanity. Perhaps you should ask God to guide you in ways that will help others and give the Lord Glory.

According to Paul Harvey’s “Rest of the Story” ===a lazy young goatherd was sent by his father to the city to work for an innkeeper who was a good friend of the father. However the young fellow had an attitude and didn’t really want the job, but he went through with it anyway and got transferred from every position he had at the hotel until the manager could no longer stand having him there. The innkeeper called the young fellow in his office to fire the young man, who begged for another chance so as not to have to go home to his father in shame. Since the innkeeper was still friends with the young man’s father, the innkeeper allowed the young man to resign instead and told him to go to another hotel instead. The young fellow did this and when he applied at the new hotel, he told the hiring manager that he had worked in every single department at his previous hotel;) Well he was hired and this time, he took the job seriously and ended up succeeding so well, that he eventually put his own name on a famous hotel. The young goatherd with the bad attitude was named: RITZ!

Og Mandino was on the verge of suicide when he went into a library and began reading. One of the books he read was Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude by W. Clement Stone. This book changed his life and he became a success.

I will wrap this up with a quote from “Doubt” the drama by Patrick Shanley. Father Flynn gives a sermon about the lonely individual who is plagued by personal doubt and torment who has nobody to turn to. Father Flynn tells the congregation that when they are in those situations “Know that you are NOT alone!” God IS with you! Now converse with Him as you would your best friend in your own colloquial language rather than the stained-glass language so many of us use when praying.

Peace of the Risen Lord Jesus Christ be upon you
 
Praying, speak to your priest/confessor, he can probably steer you to help.
 
Get involved with some activities that you might introject into your brain and psyche … as positive and strength and skillful and competence.

For example, read your way through various memoirs of positive people. Explorers. Sailors. Aviators … Charles Lindberg comes to mind. Jimmy Doolittle. Bob Hoover.

The book, KonTiki was very popular when I was growing up.

Books are much more powerful than watching movies.

Those people all had positive mental attitude … and if you read their books and others, you can take THEIR positive mental attitude and make it YOUR positive mental attitude.

At least one book per week.

Focus on some skill enhancing physical activity, even if it is walking … but it has to be several hours long and cover a substantial distance each time.

Just go out there. As you experience more, you will learn what to bring with you the next time. If you plan, then you might over plan, so just start walking. The next time, you will decide what to bring. Water [or maybe not.] A hat [or maybe not.]

I used to do this after school to save a nickel on bus fare. Started walking faster and faster with longer and longer strides … covering distances faster and faster. One day someone asked to accompany me; they were unable to keep up. They never asked again.

One of my friends was very overweight and started this fast walking thing. After a while, his wind and stamina got better and better. He began to jog every other pole. He lost weight. And his friends who supposedly were in better shape than him were unable to keep up.

You just keep pushing.

And as you walk, you can pray … or just talk to/with Jesus. Jesus, I love you … help me with this.

Giving you the opportunity to expand your ability to overcome obstacles.

You may expand into other activities. Depends on your money situation.

The other day, someone complained to me that he had never been overseas. I suggested he look up the Father Ray Foundation … named for Father Ray Brannon. They need people to teach English as a second language in Pattaya, Thailand.

Look it up.
 
There is a very young girl I know who saved her money and bought a basketball and every day went to a school yard in the late afternoon and shot baskets. SHE SHOCKED EVERYONE. Because all of a sudden, one day she got asked to throw a basket and … shazam … she did. How she did it is her secret. It took a while.

Or you could walk past a garage sale or yard sale and buy a very cheap golf club and a few balls and just practice putting. Very cheap practice.
 
BlueChiclid you are in my prayers. I too have suffered a similar self-worth issues from time to time.

Please consider watching Fr. Ripperger on Youtube. His videos on the ‘Virtue of Mortification’, ‘Perfectionism’ and ‘Guardian Angels’ might be helpful to you.

Sit with the Blessed Mother and pray the rosary. It was life changing for me. I am in my late forties, and although I have recited it in the past I committed to saying it daily just this year. Amazing.

Take some time and visit the Blessed Sacrament. In times of stress or sadness, it’s not unusual for people to visit Him several times a week. Our Lord is so patient and loving and strong, that he can handle your anger.

God Bless you and I wish you God’s Peace tonight.
 
Praying for you.

You know, I wish you could see yourself as God sees you when He looks at you. His eyes only see love. He doesn’t see autism, gender, scars, missing limbs, mental challenges or skin color. He looks at you as every parent does to their child, with total love. To God, you are perfect.

Love is very much like a fire burning in your fire place. It burns and gives you heat and light. You can keep taking from that original fire and light other things, but the original fire doesn’t become any smaller or less because fire was taken from it to light other things. Love is like that, you can give it, and give it and it doesn’t make the first thing that you loved any less loved.

Happiness works the same way. You can be genuinely happy for another person’s good fortune or success it doesn’t make you any less by being happy for another. Please never forget that we ALL have our cross to bear and just because you may not see another’s, doesn’t mean they aren’t weighted down with theirs. We may envy another, but perhaps their cross is 500 times bigger than the one we carry, would we really switch crosses ?

In the long run, does it really matter where your low self-esteem came from ? Does it change anything to be stuck on why you have it as opposed to changing it ? Having low self-esteem was something that was taught/you learned over time, and you learned to make it work in your favor in dealing with things. It is no longer working in your favor and you want to change how you view yourself, that is great ! But, that change has to first come from you. Will anything change in how you view the world if you keep looking at it in the same way ? Get out of your “safe zone”, be happy for other people, find things you can genuinely compliment other people on. Remember, this takes absolutely nothing away from you. Be the first one to compliment, cheer and congratulate others. Learn to be happy for others. Remember, their crosses might tower over you if you could see them.

My friend, God is so totally in love with you, let yourself know it and feel it. God bless you.
 
Cynical_Realist said:
I understand your pain because I had similar problems years ago, although i don’t know how old you are now. Part of the problem is seeking validation from others; that validation could include having a romantic partnership, gainful employment, the personal independence of an adult instead of having to live with your parents because you can’t afford not to, etc.

I will pray for you, but I do want to share some things with you. You mentioned that you got angry with God and were tempted to take a sledge hammer to a crucifix. As you know, this would not hurt God, and although it may have made you feel better while doing it, we all know that such an act would NOT solve your problems, which is ultimately what you want.

That said: take comfort that many of the Old Testament prophets also got angry with God, accusing Him of being a negligent parent, of being a mean master to His servants, and of duping them into being the laughingstock of the community. This did not stop any of them from being great prophets or being loved by God; in fact this anger is a testament to their own humanity. Perhaps you should ask God to guide you in ways that will help others and give the Lord Glory.

According to Paul Harvey’s “Rest of the Story” ===a lazy young goatherd was sent by his father to the city to work for an innkeeper who was a good friend of the father. However the young fellow had an attitude and didn’t really want the job, but he went through with it anyway and got transferred from every position he had at the hotel until the manager could no longer stand having him there. The innkeeper called the young fellow in his office to fire the young man, who begged for another chance so as not to have to go home to his father in shame. Since the innkeeper was still friends with the young man’s father, the innkeeper allowed the young man to resign instead and told him to go to another hotel instead. The young fellow did this and when he applied at the new hotel, he told the hiring manager that he had worked in every single department at his previous hotel;) Well he was hired and this time, he took the job seriously and ended up succeeding so well, that he eventually put his own name on a famous hotel. The young goatherd with the bad attitude was named: RITZ!

Og Mandino was on the verge of suicide when he went into a library and began reading. One of the books he read was Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude by W. Clement Stone. This book changed his life and he became a success.

I will wrap this up with a quote from “Doubt” the drama by Patrick Shanley. Father Flynn gives a sermon about the lonely individual who is plagued by personal doubt and torment who has nobody to turn to. Father Flynn tells the congregation that when they are in those situations “Know that you are NOT alone!” God IS with you! Now converse with Him as you would your best friend in your own colloquial language rather than the stained-glass language so many of us use when praying.

Peace of the Risen Lord Jesus Christ be upon you
Click to expand...
True. I said I was TEMPTED to smash a crucifix with a sledgehammer, but I had no intention of doing so. All this was aroused by “striking oil” as in finding out what made me feel so insecure.
 
Divine Mercy Chaplet

O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fountain of Mercy for us, I trust in You!
O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fountain of Mercy for us, I trust in You!
O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fountain of Mercy for us, I trust in You!

Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death, Amen.

I believe in God, the Father almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried; He descended into hell; on the third day He rose again from the dead; He ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of God the Father almighty; from there He will come to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting. Amen.

Eternal Father, I offer you the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your Dearly Beloved Son, Our Lord, Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

For Help in Trials

Most holy apostle St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the name of the traitor who delivered your beloved Master into the hands of His enemies has caused you to be forgotten by many. But the Church honors and invokes you universally as the patron of hopeless cases–of things despaired of. Pray for me who feels so hopeless. Make use, I implore you, of that particular privilege accorded to you of bringing visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come to my assistance in this great need, that I may receive the consolations and succor of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations and sufferings, in particular (BlueCichlid), and that I may bless God with you and all the elect throughout eternity. I promise you, O Blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor, and I will never cease to honor you as my special and powerful patron, and to do all in my power to encourage devotion to you. Amen.

†

Prayer to Our Lady of Mental Peace

O Lady of Mental Peace,
Mother of Tranquility
and Mother of Hope,
look upon BlueCichlid in this time
of weakness and unrest.

Teach her searching heart
to know that God’s Love
for her is unchanging and
unchangeable, and, that
true human love can only
begin and grow by touching
His Love.

Let your gentle Peace -
which this world cannot give
  • be always with her.
    And, help her to bring this
    same Peace into the lives
    of others.
Our Lady of Mental Peace,
  • Pray for us!
    Amen.
Jesus, Help Me!

In every need let me come to You with humble trust,
saying:
Jesus, help me!
In all my doubts, perplexities, and temptations:
Jesus, help me!
In hours of loneliness, weariness and trials:
Jesus, help me!
In the failure of my plans and hopes, in disappointments,
troubles and sorrows:
Jesus, help me!
When others fail me, and Your Grace alone can assist me:
Jesus, help me!
When I throw myself on Your tender Love as Savior:
Jesus, help me!
When my heart is cast down by failure, at seeing no good
come from my efforts:
Jesus, help me!
When I feel impatient, and my cross irritates me:
Jesus, help me!
When I am ill, and my head and hands cannot work and
I am lonely:
Jesus, help me!

Always, always, in spite of weakness, falls and short-
comings of every kind:
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, help me and never forsake me!

Amen

†
 
BlueCichlid said:
I tend to suffer from a deep rooted insecurity that I have had since I was a small child. It is the root cause of virtually all my psychological and spiritual problems including envy and resentment, narcissistic tendencies, and low self-confidence. Almost all of my problems can be solved if I get rid of my insecurity, but I am not sure what exactly is causing it.

Please pray that I will be able to find out what it is and to be able to fix it.
Click to expand...
What you can do is to build up new strengths.

As if you are constructing a new house.

Use memory “bricks” … to construct rooms.

Most towns have adult education courses at very modest cost … I took auto mechanics and carpentry. They were great. *

Met someone who turned out to be a whiz at absorbing foreign languages.

Other people turned out to have talents at computer programming. A blind guy turned out to be the BEST teacher ever at some computer courses.

Everybody is built differently, but try different things … and if you find something you like, then you can take more courses in those areas.

Here is the United States, we have a huge amount of adult education.

Was at a reception and met someone who ended up with a degree in math. All from adult education.

We have many, many professional magazines; many are free subscriptions for people who are “consultants”. Everyone can call themselves a “consultant”.

One of our friends ended up taking courses to be an EMT. Enjoyed them. Took the various tests and eventually ended up working in that field.

Another person took a rocketry course. Ended up with a job at NASA. A lot of work, but enjoyed it. And was persistent in studying and reading. Went to space camp. Persistence.*
 
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