Pray for my ability to forgive

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I woke up again in the night cuz of having to move… find a place, apply for the places… they might not accept me…
i got down on my knees in the night and prayed to Jesus to help me know what to do. I do not want to rush into choosing somewhere, i want to get the best place for us.
ths apt might be too small, but then again, it might be fine.
i am mixed up.
the men in my life, my 2 husbands never cared for me , only their own stardom in various areas( one in adademics, the other his guitar and music.)
hope my kids dont pick someone like that.
it is sad and lonely and hard doing it all alone. that is why these matters are on my mind so much. most of the families in the school have 2 parent homes… i am alone, make less money , have to work twice as hard being only one person., its too hard sometims. sorry to complain so much,
i pray , i went to mass today, i know God will answer.
Praying to Our Lady of Perpetual Help and St. Joseph…and also St. Rita, patron of desperate causes…for you.
Lord please hear our prayers…
 
Dearest Lord,

Please help your child forgive the terrible past hurts she has endured. Give her peace in her life. Help her to realize that you are a just and loving God and we are all subject to your perfect justice. Help her to see her good qualities that grace her and her family everyday. Help her to enjoy all the blessings she now receives. We, as your children have the hardest time forgiving those who hurt us, when we tried only to trust and love. Only through forgiving others can we truly feel your forgiveness for our shortcomings. Help this precious woman to let go of what is no longer in her control. Help her to gain strength each day and bless her business so that her financial burdens will be eased. We know that through You Dear Lord, all things are possible.
In Christ’s Name
AMEN

In Christ’s Love and Mercy,
Kathleen
 
Perhaps you should write the letter, open you heart to all the hurt and abuse you suffered and then burn it, it may seem extreme but you will have gotten all your anger and frustration out on the paper, and who knows you may feel better and be able to start getting on with the rest of your life, god bless you will pray for you :gopray2:
Peacefulpainter & Jnnywren:

In this case, You might want to write 2 letters, one that literally “Screams at the top of your lungs”, with every hurt feeling you’ve got, telling this man, and all of the others involved in this situation how you feel…

Shred and burn that one.

Then write a second one after you’ve got enough of the poison out, one that still lets him, and the others involved know that they’ve hurt you and let you down, without trying to “get even”.

You might be writing multiple letters.

Please understand this might have no effect on this man, but hopefuly it will get these feelings out so you can begin to heal and to do the things you need to do - like collect child support for any children under the age of 18 and find a chapter of Rachels Vineyard or some other Abortion Recovery Group where you can know that God has forgiven you for what you did.

It took a long time for this damage to be done to you and for these feelings of despair and rage to build up. It’s also going to take some time and a lot of Grace for the damage to heal and these feelings to be replaced by feelings of hope and forgiveness.This isn’t going to be easy.

If you can get into Therapy with a therapist who is at least familiar with Post Abortion Depression, do so. If you can find an empathetic and patient Spiritual Director who can meet with you monthly and hear your confession monthly, find one and draft him. If you can go to daily mass (even 2 or 3 times/week), do so - Same for spending a “Holy Hour” in front of the Lord in the Blessed Sacrament. If all you can do is cry for that hour, that’s OK. And, I’m sure you’ve heard about “calling on your mother” - doing the Roasry daily and meditating on the Mysteries.

Remember, I said this wasn’t going to be easy. I suffer from Battered Child Syndrome - The man who listened to von Ribbentrop’s diatribe when Nazi Germany declared war on the USA didn’t want to meet my father… So, I have some idea what you’re going through.

Your Brother in Christ, Michael
 
thanks for the reminder about st rita.
I tend to get overwhelmed with my lifestyle of work at home 7 days a wk 8am to 11pm.
kids are bored sometimes cuz it is cold out and they get into scuffles. they are not that big yet… but it is good most of the time.
I had to pay cash for their dental bills the past 2 yrs. even though they do get medical on the IL state plan, there is a sliding scale now of premiums.
🙂
that helps for dr visit, which we dont have too often thank the Lord,
but the dental are a lot.

one needs orthodontic soon and they have to pull a bunch of teeth cuz of crowding and I pray I can do better with my business.
I also have to keep better records as I am struggling but uncle sam still wants a bug chunk of money.

I really need prayers all around, and I thank you all prayer warriors for caring enough to pray for us. it really helps. as my dad was my biggest cheerleader and he passed away this january.
i miss him so much. i could write to him about anything and he made me feel positive. thanks for the prayers.
Peacefulpainter:

You really do need to go and get this man to give you the child support - I don’t care where he is.

There are Legal Services that will take your case Pro-Bono, and even your parish should be able to help you find one of these.

If all else fails, look up Jesus People USA - They’re in Chicago. I know it’s a Protestant Community, but they’re good about these things.

But, Please, your children have every right to child support, esp. if their father has money and is able to to support his family elsewhere. This isn’t about forgiving him… He has a duty and an obligation to his children that didn’t stop when the two of you split.

Your Brother in Christ, Michael
 
I looked at an apt that might work out for us, it is right behind the kids catholic school, our parish church.
right behind the baseball field.
i have not been contacted by the realtor , so we shall see if he approves my application.
pray that he does. his name is Joel.
I also did my taxes and owe uncle sam 2000. i have my own business and didnt pay enough estimated withholding. so need to cough it up now.
pray that my business keeps growing so i can pay all the bills and moving expenses.
i think the apt will be good enough while i am getting my finances in better order
i have not had time to worry about my ex.
i had a terrible sleep cuz of worrying about moving and finding the right new place for us.
pray for all these matters so sorry to be complaining.
it does help to know others care.
Lord, your child is suffering so much pain from past wrongs done to her. They have weakened her spirit, making it difficult to handle today’s trials. We pray for her. Lord, comfort her today, and fill her heart with your most tender love and mercy, that she may find peace in forgiveness for all past trespass against her. May she face each of these trespasses with the same mercy you have shared with us each moment of our lives Lord. Grant her strength Lord, as her burdens wear her down. May she turn to you with complete faith in your love, to help her carry her burdens when she is weak. Lord, walk with her for a while, be her companion as she struggles, guiding and directing her, comforting and consoling her, and as she pours out her heart to you in contstant prayer, Lord, may you grant her peace in her heart with your healing grace.
 
Peacefulpainter:

Try reading this every time you go in front of the Blessed Sacrament:

*Who has believed what we have heard?
And to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
For he grew up before him like a young plant,
and like a root out of dry ground;
he had no form or comeliness that we should look at him,
and no beauty that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by men;
a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he has borne our griefs
and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
smitten by God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions,
he was bruised for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that made us whole,
and with his stripes we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray;
we have turned every one to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
yet he opened not his mouth;
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
and like a sheep that before its shearers is dumb,
so he opened not his mouth.
By oppression and judgment he was taken away;
and as for his generation, who considered
that he was cut off out of the land of the living,
stricken for the transgression of my people?
And they made his grave with the wicked
and with a rich man in his death,
although he had done no violence,
and there was no deceit in his mouth.

Yet it was the will of the LORD to bruise him;
he has put him to grief;
when he makes himself an offering for sin,
he shall see his offspring, he shall prolong his days;
the will of the LORD shall prosper in his hand;
he shall see the fruit of the travail of his soul
and be satisfied;
by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant,
make many to be accounted righteous;
and he shall bear their iniquities.
Therefore I will divide him a portion with the great,
and he shall divide the spoil with the strong;
because he poured out his soul to death,
and was numbered with the transgressors;
yet he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors.*

Isaiah 53:all RSV

My Pastor once gave this in Hebrew to a Jewish woman in Israel whose cancer had metastasized and asked to read it aloud every day. After several weeks, her cancer went into remission, and she converted to the one who had healed her by His stripes.

O Lord of unutterable love, your daughter is in such pain, please have mercy on her and heal her. Help her to put her life together. Direct her to those who can help her and provide her with the resources she needs to provide for her children, and give her peace. We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, who is risen from the tomb and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit in glory everlasting. Amen

Your Brother in Christ, Michael
 
praying for your situation, guidance, peace and forgiveness. dear lord, guide this lady out of her darkness.
 
PeacefulPainter, praying that the Holy Spirit will guide you and surround you with peace and love. Hang in there many here are praying for things to get better for you. God bless you!
 
I am taking all my savings (1600.00) to go pay for the new apt. It is 800 a month, He also wants the 3rd pmt of 800 soon( these are 1st and last months rent and security deposit)
i talked to my sis over the weekend and she said she can send me some money out of my dad’s estate… she is still the trustee for my moms. care. my dad died in january. she knows my dad would want her to send money to help.
I think after the lease is signed then i can relax a little.
I have a home business and I work all the time.
I had a productive weekend but I feel really drained cuz all I do is work and pick up after the kids and get food, make food, and sleep and start over again.
I usually feel more energetic and positive but seems all of this doing it alone is wearing on me. … and with the kids bveing rude to me. ( search my brand new prayer intentions)
my daughter wtih the thyroid problem yells at me whenever she calls… and the 2 younger ones are being rude.
I know they are just kids, but it still hurts. I will try to be more consistent and teach them right from wrong. thanks for all the prayers. I go at 1:30 central time to give the new landlord his check of 1600 dollars.
 
Dearest Lord,

Please help Peaceful Painter in her time of need. Help her and her family to find proper housing and the funds to pay her taxes. We know that through YOU all things are possible. Know that we all trust in your mercy and guidance…please help this dear woman through her hard times, help her to find the strength to forgive the past and move onto a better and more spiritual future. Dearest Mother Mary, wrap this precious woman in your loving arms and help her have a good night sleep. Let her know how much you love her and are there for her and her family. The warmth of your arms and the beauty of your love are the best medicine any of us can ask for.
In Christ’s Name,
Amen
Thinking of you and praying for you.
Kathleen
 
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