Pray for my soul. I am struggling with masturbation

[InThePew]

I am struggling with masturbation. I relapse after a week. I feel ashamed because I just relapsed today. I went to confession 2 times in past 2 weeks. I feel like I have been beaten.

Keep going to confession - as often as it happens as many times as it happens. It doesn’t matter if your they’re every week - thanks be to God for a sinner who knows their need of the Lord’s mercy! I appreciate that it feels frustrating but remember that we receive God’s grace through the sacraments - especially reconciliation and the Eucharist - which helps us to do what we can’t do by ourselves by building on our human nature. When people confess this (which happens more than you might think and definitely not just with young people) I normally tell them to read Romans 7 where St Paul talks about how we “do not do the thing I want to do but instead do the thing I don’t want to” and how Christ Jesus saves us from this. You might also like to reflect on St Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 4: “we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed”.

Finally, keep going to mass every Sunday - as Pope Francis has said, the Eucharist isn’t a prize for the perfect but a powerful medicine for sinners!

 

[Todd_Easton]

In addition to what you are already doing (prayer, confession, Mass, etc.), you might want to talk to your primary care doctor. The treatments for compulsive masturbation, such as medication, supportive psychoanalysis and behavior modification, might also be helpful in breaking your bad habit.

 

[apndh]

Thank you for this. I just masturbated and I feel horrible. I made myself a promise to not masturbate until next Sunday but I did it just 1 day after not doing it.

 

[apndh]

I’m too embarrassed to tell my parents about masturbation, idk they maybe even think I don’t do it.

 

[bpd_stl]

I am struggling with masturbation. I relapse after a week. I feel ashamed because I just relapsed today. I went to confession 2 times in past 2 weeks. I feel like I have been beaten. Please pray for me to gain strength and not to sin again.

First: you are not alone…trust me.

Second: I have (and have had in the past when I was a seminarian) several priests with whom I developed personal friendships with. We’d discuss lots of issues…including this one. Without EVER breaking the Seal of Confession, they all have told me that this is one of the most common things they hear in the confessional.

My compassionate advice:

1. Stop punishing yourself for being human. You are your own worse judge. The Parable of the Prodigal Son applies here. God always forgives the true & sincere penitent.
2. Shame begets self-loathing which begets relapse. It’s a vicious cycle.
3. Avoid scrupulosity, since it compounds the shame of “failing” (my guess is that you have been absolved several times in Confession, but refuse to accept absolution).
4. If your masturbation is linked to the internet…then you very well might have to take the step of limiting your access. This is rough…but you have to decide what steps you are willing to take.
5. If you have a patron saint(s), pray to them when the urge is building…even during the act. St. Michael the Archangel is a mighty ally. At first it will be very painful & awkward…but keep doing it even if you fail. Psychologists of the cognitive-behavioral school call it “thought-stopping” techniques.
6. Utilize one of the most powerful prayers there is: the Jesus Prayer that is beloved by the Orthodox: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner!” The CCC even recommends it (2665-2669). It works…trust me.