Pray for patience in my relationship please

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redhead4681

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Hello all,
I am new to this forum and feeling a little shy! :o I have been praying lately for strength in my relationship. I have been dating a man for almost nine years now and am feeling distraught because he has not asked for my hand in marriage. I have been patient and loyal, have sat down with him and talked about my feelings but he can only tell me that he is not financially stable enough for marriage. I want to be a loving wife and to have children. I am thirty years old now and it has been difficult to watch many of my friends enter into marriage and have beautiful children. Please pray for me so that I can move on one way or another and understand what God’s will is.

Thank you,

Yvonne
 
9 YEARS??? If he isn’t ready to marry you after that long he never will be. That financially stable line is just that-a line. 1. Marriage tends to lead to greater financial security. 2. In almost a decade he would have had plenty of time to get in to a position to marry, if that is in fact what he wanted to do.

Do you live together? I only ask because sometimes couples who live together get complacent and stop seeing the point of going through the effort of making it legal. If you are living together and you want to marry you need to pull back and make it clear that its all or nothing. If you decide that his commitment is enough, without the actual marriage, then keep living like you are.
 
redhead4681 said:
Hello all,
I am new to this forum and feeling a little shy! :o I have been praying lately for strength in my relationship. I have been dating a man for almost nine years now and am feeling distraught because he has not asked for my hand in marriage. I have been patient and loyal, have sat down with him and talked about my feelings but he can only tell me that he is not financially stable enough for marriage. I want to be a loving wife and to have children. I am thirty years old now and it has been difficult to watch many of my friends enter into marriage and have beautiful children. Please pray for me so that I can move on one way or another and understand what God’s will is.

Thank you,

Yvonne
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This guy says that he is not financially stable:

Bankers in “Malaise”
 
It is time to move on from this no where relationship. One third of your life (nine years) is too long to wait for this guy to make up his mind if he wants to marry you or not, financial security has nothing to do with it.
 
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death
Amen.

St. Jude, pray for them!
 
I will keep you in my prayers! :gopray:

Nine years is a long time for dating. I would start a novena and ask God if this is the partner He has in mind for you to spend the rest of your life with. Really listen for His answer. It might not be what you think.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
9 YEARS??? If he isn’t ready to marry you after that long he never will be. That financially stable line is just that-a line. 1. Marriage tends to lead to greater financial security. 2. In almost a decade he would have had plenty of time to get in to a position to marry, if that is in fact what he wanted to do.

Do you live together? I only ask because sometimes couples who live together get complacent and stop seeing the point of going through the effort of making it legal. If you are living together and you want to marry you need to pull back and make it clear that its all or nothing. If you decide that his commitment is enough, without the actual marriage, then keep living like you are.
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My heart goes out to you, dear OP–but I must agree with the poster above. 9 years is an unbelievably long and unreasonable time to wait for someone. I truly do not want to come across as harsh, but sometimes we need a strong reality check: you need to move on. I understand that this advice may be hard to swallow but in the end it appears the two of you clearly have different expectations in the relationship. Giving up on something (or in your case, someone) hurts and its hard but a few years from now when you are not clouded with emotion, you will see it was for the best. I will pray for your happiness, either way.
 
as others said, 9 years is crazy long time to wait for marriage proposal. I had the same misgivings when I was dating my husband and decided that if he didn’t propose by our 2 year anniversary, I was going to leave. I didn’t give him any ultimatiums but he knew I wanted to get married and didn’t want to wait longer than that. He proposed on our 2 year anniversary. Its different for everyone but I believe that 1-2 years is plenty to get to know someone and decide whether this person is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with… I don’t mean to be harsh but you can find someone who will want to be with u and marry you and won’t give you “i’m not ready” excuses after 9 years
 
redhead4681 said:
Hello all,
I am new to this forum and feeling a little shy! :o I have been praying lately for strength in my relationship. I have been dating a man for almost nine years now and am feeling distraught because he has not asked for my hand in marriage. I have been patient and loyal, have sat down with him and talked about my feelings but he can only tell me that he is not financially stable enough for marriage. I want to be a loving wife and to have children. I am thirty years old now and it has been difficult to watch many of my friends enter into marriage and have beautiful children. Please pray for me so that I can move on one way or another and understand what God’s will is.

Thank you,

Yvonne
Click to expand...
After 2 or 3 years, you should have realized that this relationship was not going to progress, in spite of how much you wanted it to. You were 21 and now you are 30. And this man still refuses to commit. It’s time to move on. It’s not going to be easy now that you have spent 9 years of your life longing for something, but you can do it. Get involved in other things. Stay busy.

I think you’ve had way too much patience and it’s time to get some discernment instead.
 
I agree with a lot of posters here, 9 years is a little excessive. You have way more patience than I do, at 21 I would have given him 4 years and if he didn’t know what he was about, I would have moved on. After 1 or 2 years, 3 max couples need to know where they are going if anywhere. You may need strength to walk away from this relationship. Read “How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul” by Jason and Crystalina Evert. He sounds like one of the top 10 guys they warn to stay away or walk away from.
 
redhead4681 said:
Hello all,
I am new to this forum and feeling a little shy! :o I have been praying lately for strength in my relationship. I have been dating a man for almost nine years now and am feeling distraught because he has not asked for my hand in marriage. I have been patient and loyal, have sat down with him and talked about my feelings but he can only tell me that he is not financially stable enough for marriage. I want to be a loving wife and to have children. I am thirty years old now and it has been difficult to watch many of my friends enter into marriage and have beautiful children. Please pray for me so that I can move on one way or another and understand what God’s will is.

Thank you,

Yvonne
Click to expand...
The question of financial stability may hide a deep weakness of him.
Many men have strong fears that freeze them.
A friend of mine had a husband who did not want children for he had to raise his 8 brothers when the father died. It was impossible for her to get pregnant for he used condoms. As the funny side of the story, she decided one day (2 actually) to perforate a condom with a needle.
Now they have got 2 children and he loves them…
To find the cause of the financial umbalance of your fiancée would be good.
 
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