prayer before lovemaking?

[johnsmith2025]

Hello … Recently I’ve heard that there are Catholic couples who say a prayer together before each time they make love.

Is this something that has caught on? Are there many people who do this?

 

[Gisella]

I’m a virgin, but I would feel awkward saying a prayer before that. I’d feel like God would be watching us.

 

[bpbasilphx]

I’d feel like God would be watching us.

**You mean you think there are times when God is NOT watching you?

When is He NOT watching you?**

 

[Gisella]

I know that was a bad way to put it, but I’d feel his presence more after the prayer. It gives me a feeling of peace and solitude, and I think I would find that hard to reconcile during intimate situations.

 

[JadensMom]

I couldn’t do it – it would feel so awkward it would get me out of the mood.

At our Pre-Cana retreat, one of the (very earnest and well-meaning) volunteer couples gave each couple a little red plastic votive with a little tealight candle in it, and told us to say prayers before and after “being together” and to light this prayer candle during the actual act.

I think we ended up using the candle as part of our Christmas decor.

Yes, I know, I’m awful, but if we’d actually done what they suggested, I think my marriage might still be unconsummated.

~Jaden(name removed by moderator)

P.S. But my husband used to have a picture of his parents on his night table too, and I asked him to put it in another room. Seeing their smiling faces during, ahem, “being together” was kind of weird for me too.

so embarrassed

 

[whiteyacht]

It’s not something I’ve heard of as being popular. It even seems a bit unnecessary, because the marital embrace is itself a prayer, in a way.

That’s just me, though!

 

[newbetx]

I couldn’t do it – it would feel so awkward it would get me out of the mood.

At our Pre-Cana retreat, one of the (very earnest and well-meaning) volunteer couples gave each couple a little red plastic votive with a little tealight candle in it, and told us to say prayers before and after “being together” and to light this prayer candle during the actual act.

I think we ended up using the candle as part of our Christmas decor.

Yes, I know, I’m awful, but if we’d actually done what they suggested, I think my marriage might still be unconsummated.

~Jaden(name removed by moderator)

P.S. But my husband used to have a picture of his parents on his night table too, and I asked him to put it in another room. Seeing their smiling faces during, ahem, “being together” was kind of weird for me too.

so embarrassed

I know what you mean. I’ve not done a prayer either. And up until now I could not imagine one. But thanking God for the wonderful spouse next to you, or the gift of their love and maybe that the baby will sleep in today, isn’t all that bad, is it?

A couple came to our marriage encounter meeting once and they said they always prayed together before going to sleep. Another thing we’ve not managed to do (yet). But prayer between or with couples is certainly encouraged. Especially with NFP and contemplation about having (more) children.

 

[newbetx]

I know that was a bad way to put it, but I’d feel his presence more after the prayer. It gives me a feeling of peace and solitude, and I think I would find that hard to reconcile during intimate situations.

Well, if you decide to get married some day, I’d recommend Christopher West’s “The Good News About Sex and Marriage” as it explains TOB and the relationship between a couple and the relationship between Christ and the Church. It’s extremely interesting. God created sex for us (married couples). There is nothing to be ashamed of with it at all, so in a way, He’s expected to be in our bedroom with us. And I can understand how that made me nervous the first time I thought about it.

 

[Gisella]

Well, if you decide to get married some day, I’d recommend Christopher West’s “The Good News About Sex and Marriage” as it explains TOB and the relationship between a couple and the relationship between Christ and the Church. It’s extremely interesting. God created sex for us (married couples). There is nothing to be ashamed of with it at all, so in a way, He’s expected to be in our bedroom with us. And I can understand how that made me nervous the first time I thought about it.

I looked it up on Amazon, and it seems pretty interesting. I seriously thought sex was created by Satan until I was about 12, so I was a bit surprised to find religious book about sex.

 

[colleenanne]

At our retreat before our marriage, my husband and I were asked to do the same thing. That was six year ago, and we’ve never done it. We did attempt many things that we learned that weekend, and it was truly a great experience.

A little off-topic, but I wish all marriages universally had a mandatory six month preparation with the Priest that married me. What an eye-opener the whole experience was! This preparational time is one of the best things about the Catholic Church in my opinion.

 

[newbetx]

A little off-topic, but I wish all marriages universally had a mandatory six month preparation with the Priest that married me. What an eye-opener the whole experience was! This preparational time is one of the best things about the Catholic Church in my opinion.

Ranks right up there with me, too! I’ve suggested it even to those who aren’t Catholic and are getting married.

 

[anna1978]

Absolutely NO WAY!!! I’ve never heard that before, and frankly…it just sounds too weird! Praying BEFORE you get to the bedroom together fine, before sex…absolutely not, and I can’t see it catching on…although perhaps it should…it would stop a lot of people in their tracks, I’m sure! EEEWWWWWWWW! Sorry, but talk about a mood killer

Anna x

 

[agapewolf]

A mood killer? wow… how bad do you think sex is?

God created it! He is a part of it! So much so that he creates more human beings with it!

It is so beautiful … the closer that a married couple gets to God, the closer they get to each other (picture a triangle).

How much it could add to the spiritual/emotional side of sex…the utter beauty and elation.

 

[natsclem]

Ranks right up there with me, too! I’ve suggested it even to those who aren’t Catholic and are getting married.

to those getting married? it is like you pushed them to sinning. their praying before doing it did not justify it. sex is exclusively for married couples for it to be ethically acceptable (for civilly wed), morally acceptable and sacramentally salvific (for wedded couple in the Catholic Church).

 

[NoxSineStellae]

It is so beautiful … the closer that a married couple gets to God, the closer they get to each other (picture a triangle).

That’s the problem with it for me, personally. As George Michael said, “Sex is best when it’s one on one.”

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

to those getting married? it is like you pushed them to sinning. their praying before doing it did not justify it. sex is exclusively for married couples for it to be ethically acceptable (for civilly wed), morally acceptable and sacramentally salvific (for wedded couple in the Catholic Church).

Simply wrong. Sorry. But simply wrong.

First, newbetx suggested premarital counseling and preparation six months’ prior to marriage, even those who are non-Catholic. What’s wrong with that?

Secondly, how are non-Catholic married couples who are legally married sinning by the marital embrace? The Church considers non-Cahtolics validly married however they got married, including in a civil ceremony, if each part of the couple is marrying for the first time. it is why, if a non-Catholic divorces and wants to marry somebody else in the Church, the non-Catholic has to go through the decree of nullity proceedure before the Non-Catholic can marry the Catholic, to determine if ther was a valid marriage.

 

[stinkcat_14]

Father Larry Richards has a story about someone who heard him suggest that couples should pray before they make love. Anyone, some guy he knew who was single was in bed with a woman and well towards fornication when he remembered that Fr Larry suggested prayer, so he asked the woman if she minded if they stopped and prayed. The good news if I recall correctly is that they never completed the act. So perhaps the idea of prayer before making love should be more promoted.

The story is on one of Fr. Larry’s mp3 files that is floating around the internet.

 

[HOPEFUL_IN_UK]

I know that was a bad way to put it, but I’d feel his presence more after the prayer. It gives me a feeling of peace and solitude, and I think I would find that hard to reconcile during intimate situations.

That’s because of our fallen nature and our perverted minds. As crazy as it sounds (even to me), we should feel perfectly good about making love to our spouse in front of God.

 

[kage_ar]

This is a beautiful way to remember what is the single most important thing in marriage - God.

 

[txsoldier94]

to those getting married? it is like you pushed them to sinning. their praying before doing it did not justify it. sex is exclusively for married couples for it to be ethically acceptable (for civilly wed), morally acceptable and sacramentally salvific (for wedded couple in the Catholic Church).

I think that this:

Ranks right up there with me, too! I’ve suggested it even to those who aren’t Catholic and are getting married.

Referred to this:

At our retreat before our marriage, my husband and I were asked to do the same thing. That was six year ago, and we’ve never done it. We did attempt many things that we learned that weekend, and it was truly a great experience.

A little off-topic, but I wish all marriages universally had a mandatory six month preparation with the Priest that married me. What an eye-opener the whole experience was! This preparational time is one of the best things about the Catholic Church in my opinion.

And not to the act of praying before sex.