I am truly sorry for what you’re feeling and experiencing. As someone who has OCD, I know very well what it’s like to have unwanted, obsessive thoughts and overwhelming negative feelings. It is a constant, fatiguing struggle that affects every part of your life. While Satan is most certainly involved in your struggle, especially in tempting you to give in to sin as a way to relieve the stress of your pain, I would advise to speak to a psychologist if at all possible. To me, it seems that you may have depression, OCD or bipolar, or something similar. Obviously I can’t give an exact diagnosis, but that would be my opinion. Psychology can be very helpful, and often times just being able to talk to someone who is sensitive and knowledgeable about your problem can help.
I fervently hope and pray that all your sins may be forgiven, that you may be healed of all your ills and struggles, and that you may be protected from all problems, especially the temptation to take your own life or to drift away from God, Who loves you more than you can possibly imagine, enough that He died for you. I pray that the love and mercy of Christ may bring you both interior peace and strength to continue fighting against your temptations and afflictions. I extend these prayers to all those in the world dealing with problems similar to your own, especially those who harm themselves and for the repose of the souls of those who have committed suicide and for their loved ones. I ask for the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary, your guardian angel, St. Michael the Archangel, and St. Medard of Noyon, patron saint against depression. God bless.
Hail Holy Queen
Mother of Mercy, Our Life, Our Sweetness and Our Hope
To Thee Do We Cry, Poor Banished Children of Eve
To Thee Do We Send Up Our Sighs
Mourning and Weeping in this Valley of Tears.
Turn, then, Most Gracious Advocate
Thine Eyes of Mercy Towards Us
And After This, Our Exile, Show Unto Us
The Blessed Fruit of Thy Womb,
Jesus.
O Clement, O Loving, O Sweet
Virgin Mary.
Amen.
