Hi Veronica
There is no sin involved in the scenario you mentioned. No intention= no sin. If someone spills the Precious Blood accidentally, for example, there is no sin (this has happened to someone I know). God is not a tyrant. He does not punish such mistakes. At the most, you might like to be more cautious in the future. If I were a priest I would forbid you to think anymore about this. Even if it were venially sinful (due to negligence; which it certainly doesn’t seem like), then there is still no reason to obsess over what happened. There is no obligation to confess venial sins. If you knew that what you were doing at the time was gravely sinful, and you gave your full consent, then and only then would you have a sin to confess (keep in mind that full consent is not our first response/action or whatever).
In relation to past sins, just leave it to God. This will please Him, I’m sure, as He knows it will be difficult for you. You have two options:
- Worry about the possibility of past, unconfessed (serious) sins. This will cause more anxiety, confusion (resulting in part from spiritual blindness), temporal punishment for a lack of confidence in God’s goodness etc.
- Trust that God will reveal any unconfessed (serious) sins to you. This will bring **clarity, peace, confidence in God, and your mind will be freed up a lot to love God **etc.
If you surrender your worries to God you can be CERTAIN that He will reveal any unconfessed (serious) sins to you. If you try to “discover” this yourself, you can be just as certain that you will NEVER find peace. Trust me: I know from past experience. God desires our trust and humility. He will leave us to struggle for as long as it takes for us to humble ourselves and trust in God, who is infinitely more reliable than our own memory/judgement etc. You would do well to meditate on the following words of Our Lord to Sr. Benigna Consolata Ferrero (who I’m sure would make a powerful intercessor for your combat against doubts and fears):
“The whole secret of sanctity lies in these two words: Distrust and Trust. Distrust always in thyself, but no pausing there, rise instantly to trust in God; for if I am good to all, I am bountiful (buonissimo) to the souls that trust in Me.”
“Distrust in thyself”… prefer your confessor’s judgement to your own; follow the “law of presumptions” (mentioned on my site or by various theologians); don’t even think about venial sin (not until your scruples are under control); read books that emphasise the virtue of confidence in God; meditate on God’s fidelity…
Worrying about past sins is a bit like saying: “I am not confident that God desires my salvation. I am not confident that God is trustworthy.” On the contrary, God is always true to His promises and He ardently desires our salvation; we can be sure that He will give us a clear conviction of our sins, provided that we trust Him and that our desire is to do God’s will and avoid any grave sins that we might have committed. Ironically, it is confidence that brings certainty, because it is confidence that unleashes God’s graces, light and peace. If we are unsure if a sin is mortal, we can be sure that God- in His infinite goodness- would not give us such a weak ‘conviction.’ We can therefore move on, leaving any uncertainty to God, ensuring that we do not confess such doubtful sins.
God bless you!
