Prayer for strength and guidance

[rayne89]

Hi, I know some of you have been following the on going saga with Steven. If you haven’t here are some past threads to give you background info. He is a 19 year old father from a broken home. His mom has many issues of her own.
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=224812
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=271228

Steven has been living at home for the past few months. Things between his mom are relatively ok. In Nov. his ex-girlfriend and mother of his child became engaged. He has been sinking into a depression ever since he found out. Yesterday he called me saying things like “Make sure my daughter has a good life, make sure she knows I loved her.” As we kept talking Steven made it clear he intended to take his life. I begged the holy spirit to give me the right words, but honestly I was panicking. It didn’t sound like just a threat it sounded like he had every intention of following through.

We just had an old highschool friend drink himself to death right before Christmas. So that has been at the forefront of my mind. I’ve been worrying that Steven will end of like our friend Jimmy if he doesn’t get professional help. The thread about Jimmy is here forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=297196

I managed to get Steven to promise me not to do anything without calling me first at least. Ofcourse I couldn’t be sure if he would keep that promise but I was hoping it would buy me some time. I couldn’t get him to promise not do anything so that was the best I could get. I called his mom -which at first didn’t go well, (but she later called and apologized), I then called a crisis line and they called him.

I talked to him again last night and he sounded better. Better meaning severely depressed but being open to getting help as opposed to earlier when he was rejecting any help, saying nothing was going to change ect. He agreed to counseling. I then talked to his mom which went well. For some reason he wants me to call the counseling office instead of his mom, so I’ll be doing that today.

I have to say I feel like emotionally I’ve been run over by a truck. Steven did apologize last night for completely freaking me out earlier - he sounds so sad, and resigned. I just need God to give me guidance in what I’m supposed to be doing here, and give me the emotional (and physical strength) to perservere.

 

[Trishie]

Rayne you must be so weary with the aftermath of Jimmy’s death, and your fears for Steven. I can understand that this will remain a huge problem for Steven to get over. He’s only young and to lose his girlfriend and baby. You seem to be carrying him through this, and without you he might already be gone, so I thank God you’re there for him. But I’m glad you’re helping him seek outside professional help or you’ll just be exhausted and he will be too dependent for both your good…

Praying, and now knwing how involved and worried you are, will be praying for you. Please don’t forget to nurture yourself. I ask God to take you both into His care, as well as his daughter.

 

[gardenswithkids]

…I just need God to give me guidance in what I’m supposed to be doing here, and give me the emotional (and physical strength) to perservere.

Holy Spirit of God, please guide Rayne. Guide her and give her emotional support and the physical strength to do what she needs to do. Help Steven know he is loved by You. Help lift his depression and give him hope for the future. Give him strength to endure this time of trial. Holy Father, help Steven to know and accept Your love–the love of a True Father. Help him to be the father he never had. Jesus, You are the Hope and Salvation of the World. Please give Rayne and Steven hope. Save us all. Amen.

 

[Teakafrog]

Praying for you both.

 

[rayne89]

I spoke to Steven tonight. He’s coming to dinner Thurs and then I’m driving him to his counseling appt. Please pray that this counselor is the right one for Steven. He did a lot of angry venting on the phone tonight. I am certain there is an underlying undiagnosed disorder going on with Steven. I’m pretty sure its borderline personality disorder -all the reading I’ve done points me in that direction, and I’ve been reading a lot.

It just breaks my heart. Underneath the anger, when you draw him out, is incredible fear. Fear that his daughter will love her future step-father more, fear that she will reject him, that he has nothing to offer her. And under all of that is the feeling that he is not a lovable person. It’s not a normal fear, it’s a terrifying, suffocating fear. If Steven does have BPD, it is very difficult to treat and requires long term therapy. Please continue to pray for him (and for me). God has placed this kid on my heart and I am commited to whatever it takes to get Steven the help and healing he needs. Thanks so much!