I have repeatedly forgiven these persons but the thoughts reoccur because it was to do with my health.
This is not uncommon. The deeper the hurt, the more repetitions of forgiveness we need. This is why Jesus gave us the Lord’s prayer, that we can pray (preferably aloud) every day, or many times a day, to remind us that we must forgive others in order to be forgiven.
Symptoms, whether emotional or physical, are there to draw our attention to what needs healing. Without these reminders, we would not be mindful of what needs our spiritual attention.
We offer forgiveness as often as we suffer, and we join our sufferings to Christ, that we might make up in our own bodies what was lacking in His sufferings on the cross. This deep communion with His suffering on the cross enables us to enter into His suffering, so that we may then enter into His resurrection. Rather than seeking to be free of suffering, take the mindset of accepting the suffering, and use it to make reparation for the sins of others.
I made a dire mistake and spoke to the wrong people about my life and dreams.
People said hurtful things to you, and in this way, you are in communion with the sufferings of Christ, because people say things that are hurtful to Him also.
The deeper the disclosures we make about ourselves, the more painful it is when we are treated poorly after sharing them.
God is calling you to give up your life and your dreams - to lay them at the foot of His cross. He calls us to pick up our cross and carry it. The cross is a death sentence. Anyone who picked up their cross was separated from their life and their dreams.
Be thankful for the pains that pop up, because they remind you that you must pick up the cross, and carry it, relinquishing your life and dreams in His service.
