Prayer - I need help!

[artphotographer]

So I am currently in RCIA, hoping to come into full communion with the church this next Easter. I was baptized and raised in the United Methodist church, as my grandmother is a pastor. I grew up around and in the church, but once I reached high school, my faith and spirituality gradually faded into almost nothing.

I have never been one for lots of prayer, just when I needed it most. My most recent ex-boyfriend was a very strong agnostic and very anti-religious, and as I was with him for 5 1/2 years, I started to think as he did. By the grace of God, I got my head back on straight and dumped him. A month later, I started going out with an amazing Catholic guy I have liked for many years. It is because of him I am on this journey. I have prayed the rosary with him, and we do nightly prayers over the phone, as I live 6 hours away from him (for school). Before I moved, I went to mass with him almost every Sunday, when I could. I really started this process with and because of him.

Now that I am at school 6 hours away, I am finding it hard to really stay connected to prayer. I find it almost unhelpful to keep praying and not get anything immediately. I guess I am still trying to get into the groove, but it is just so hard.

With our nightly prayers, he always leads. Sometimes he asks me to lead, and I just don’t feel comfortable. I do not know why. I want to be able to be confident in leading a prayer, it just almost doesn’t feel right. I am hoping I can get some advice on how to feel comfortable in praying, not only in general, but leading it as well.

Also, in your opinion, is praying quietly in your head the same as out loud? I seem to feel more comfortable praying silently, but really, wouldn’t it be the same? Thank you so much for reading all this and any comments/advice would be greatly helpful.

Thank you and God Bless!

 

[scimitar60]

If your not in the mood for prayer - then don’t pray a huge prayer to be honest. It just leads to you constantly thinking ‘Comon I’m almost done…’. This is hardly giving your full heart to the meaning of the prayer.
Just pray ‘Lord Jesus please help me with my struggles and my questions and lead me deeper into the faith’. Make the sign of the cross and go to bed. Try to have a Gospel reading each day and reflect on it. It takes time; patience is a virtue.

 

[Totterman]

Jesus,our Lords peace be whit You.
It is not alway meaningfull to pray “just because I use to” long prayers. What God wants from us is faith. Faith can’t me mesured by amount of words in a prayer,neither in how often You pray. We have daily prayers,but even they are useless whitout faith,and a prayer said from Your mouth is worth nothing,from Your heart and soul,it is what God wants to hear. Sometimes the best prayer is just thinking over what has happend that day,thank God for the good things and be humble,and end it whit a simple “Amen”. So don’t worrie,and one moore thing,as importen a prayer is,moore importen is to do Gods wish,and always remember to listen for the ansver.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Also, in your opinion, is praying quietly in your head the same as out loud? I seem to feel more comfortable praying silently, but really, wouldn’t it be the same? Thank you so much for reading all this and any comments/advice would be greatly helpful.

In my opinion, it would be the same. I don’t believe God needs to audibly “hear” the prayers to know their content.

Not only that, but the third of the three forms of prayer discussed by the CCC is contemplative prayer, which brings us into a type of union with God like vocal and meditative prayers don’t. These prayers are silent, without words or even particular thoughts other than a gaze of love fixed on God. Reference: CCC 2700-2724

Alan

 

[Being_Brave]

So I am currently in RCIA, hoping to come into full communion with the church this next Easter. I was baptized and raised in the United Methodist church, as my grandmother is a pastor. I grew up around and in the church, but once I reached high school, my faith and spirituality gradually faded into almost nothing.

I have never been one for lots of prayer, just when I needed it most. My most recent ex-boyfriend was a very strong agnostic and very anti-religious, and as I was with him for 5 1/2 years, I started to think as he did. By the grace of God, I got my head back on straight and dumped him. A month later, I started going out with an amazing Catholic guy I have liked for many years. It is because of him I am on this journey. I have prayed the rosary with him, and we do nightly prayers over the phone, as I live 6 hours away from him (for school). Before I moved, I went to mass with him almost every Sunday, when I could. I really started this process with and because of him.

Now that I am at school 6 hours away, I am finding it hard to really stay connected to prayer. I find it almost unhelpful to keep praying and not get anything immediately. I guess I am still trying to get into the groove, but it is just so hard.

With our nightly prayers, he always leads. Sometimes he asks me to lead, and I just don’t feel comfortable. I do not know why. I want to be able to be confident in leading a prayer, it just almost doesn’t feel right. I am hoping I can get some advice on how to feel comfortable in praying, not only in general, but leading it as well.

Also, in your opinion, is praying quietly in your head the same as out loud? I seem to feel more comfortable praying silently, but really, wouldn’t it be the same? Thank you so much for reading all this and any comments/advice would be greatly helpful.

Thank you and God Bless!

I’m in RCIA too. I have to admit, even though I never lost faith, I really was living an agnostic lifestyle before I started learning about Catholicism. It’s really hard to completely change yourself after such a long time. I wish I had someone close to learn from, but I’m (for now) the only Catholic in my family (even the hubby hasn’t come to Mass with me yet). Just remember that this journey is between you and God and He’s listening to you even when your boyfriend isn’t there to guide you through the words. I really think that God hears you no matter how loud you pray. What I’ve learned about Catholicism is that the prayers that are “scripted” (for lack of a better term) were usually written by Saints, and them being so close to God makes them particularly special. That isn’t to say that “free-style” prayer isn’t as effective.

The first time I said the Rosary was with Mother Angelica and her Sisters on EWTN. I just happened to come across it while flipping through the channels, perfect timing. For me it made it easier to start a habbit of it when I heard other voices saying it at the same time (same thing happense just before Mass when I get there early and there is a group of people praying it together). I couldn’t lead in one of the “scripted” prayers because I just don’t know them, but if I can speak from my heart I’ll talk God’s ear off I think part of my awkwardness comes from being raised Baptist, where it was always my dad or grandpa that prayed at meals and led family prayer, and as girls we usually prayed with the little kids or in private (probably not your case if your grandma is a pastor, though.) If you live on campus there might be a Catholic student group, being around them and having someone closer might help?

Good luck

 

[Sarah25]

Wow, your post sounded kinda like… me! Scary. But I know how you feel. I was never much of a pray-er ever, just when things were falling apart and I “needed something” from God.

I just converted this past Easter, and all through RCIA they kept hammering home that we absolutely needed an active prayer life. It was kind of discouraging because I just couldn’t get into the swing of things. I took St. Teresa of Avila as my patron saint since in the beginning she had a great amount of trouble with prayer also, but ended up being a saint that’s very revered for her writings on prayer! She’s certainly interceeding for me, but it’s slow going

I can pray all day long in church, no problem. However praying by myself on my own is a different matter (even after over a year since I started RCIA). I’m currently trying to set up a prayer space with a kneeler so I can make it seem more church like and hopefully that will help me focus a little better. Maybe it would help you too.

And I like to pray silently in my head. I have a lot of anxiety with praying out loud and I don’t think I’d be able to lead, at least not right now. The important thing though is to keep trying! I heard a sermon the other Sunday and my priest was talking about how the Devil doesn’t like prayer b/c it is time we give to God, and he read a little play dialogue between the Devil and God and the Devil was gloating b/c this guy kept getting distracted during his prayers and wasn’t really putting a whole lot of himself into it and how that must’ve not been pleasing to God. And God told the Devil that it didn’t matter about the distractions or the lack of concentration or feeling in the prayer, but that it was time the man was spending in an attempt to talk to Him. So I think about that a lot when I have trouble praying. The point is to try.

 

[Trishie]

Thank you for sharing your story and your concerns.
And welcome!

Your comment that you don’t get what you pray for immediately…do I understand the inference correctly?

No, we don’t always get an immediate response, and sometimes things work out gradually in a progressive way, and suddenly one day we realise the prayer has been answered…and sometimes in a way we don’t expect. It is also the case that often we think we know what’s best for us, right now, and the way we want it. But God doesn’t see us and see things the way we do. He may have a higher purpose. I think many of us would at times like a fairy-godmother God who would wave a wand for us, but it doesn’t happen like that. There have been times when* I* wouldn’t have minded a fairy-godmother God, but God won’t ‘play ball’ with that one! I try, but I have to admit there are times when I’ve felt like 'spitting the dummy" especially when I truly believe that what I’m praying for is urgent and serious and what is needed for someone else or me.

You don’t have to alwaya go into long formulas or wordy prayers. You can communicate with God quite simply with an honest though, feeling, word, a quiet few minutes in His presence
.
“Why you do not have what you want is that you do not pray for it; when you pray and don’t get it, it is because you have not prayed properly, you have prayed for something to indulge your own desires.” [James 4:2-3]

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For the Lord said: “My thoughts are not your thoughts, my ways are not your ways…Yes, and the heavens are as high above the earth as my ways are above your ways, my thoughts above your thoughts.”** [Isaiah 55:8-9]

Isaiah says,** “I was thinking: ‘I have toiled in vain, I have exhausted myself for nothing.’ And all the while my cause was with God, my reward with my God.”** [Isaiah 49:3-4]* *
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For “the Lord is not being slow to carry out His promises…but He is being patient with you all, wanting nobody to be lost and everybody to be brought to change his ways**.”* *[2Peter 3:9]