Prayer needed for me- Despair

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rayne100

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I really need your prayers right now, my life seems to be rapidly falling apart. Everything I know and love is about to slip away and there isn’t anything I can do about it but pray for strength and peace and hope.
I’m too upset right now to go into it, but I could really use some prayers for me and especially my fiance who is facing some serious consequenses.

I am angry right now and very frustrated and feeling hopeless. The system that I had so much faith in has failed him and in turn us…
I know I am being very cryptic right now but to be honest, If I tell you the situation, I don’t think you would really understand.

Please, I am on the verge of I don’t know what- a breakdown, giving up, something, but I am barely keeping it together and I really need to because I have to be strong for my fiance.

God help him, God help me, God Help my family, we need strength, peace, hope and trust to get through this part of our journey. Help us make it through despair.
 
May the light of Divine Providence shine into your life to grant hope, help, and comfort.

Praying for you,

~~ the phoenix
 
Praying for you…

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee, Blessed art Thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen
 
I am leaving for work soon and will include you in my morning prayers
Kathy
 
Prayers for you. Hang in there I have been there so many times. God will get you through. 🙂
 
Rayne - Remeber, ALL things are possible for God. Hold onto Him and trust Him. There are no accidents; not a sparrow falls from the sky without God’s knowledge. I am adding my prayers to those of the rest :gopray:

We’re with you in spirit and in prayer :grouphug: :signofcross:
 
Seek His face above all things. I will pray for you.

God bless,
Aaron Magnan
 
I am with you
Do not fear
Do not worry
My peace I give to you
So relax, let go, be free to love
Be free to see, to enjoy, to love
Look up in hope
I will not disappoint you

Romans 5: …hope does not disappoint,
because the love of God has been poured out into your heart
through the Holy Spirit that has been given to you.

My prayers are with you… God is drawing you closer, continue to turn to Him…
 
From a wise priest…“it’s better to err on the side of mercy, rather than despair.” “At least with mercy you are erring on a Divine Attribute of our Loving God. With despair…you are erring on the side of satan and sin.”

You are in my prayers. :crossrc:
 
Conversation of the Merciful God with a Despairing Soul from the Diary of St. Faustina, 1486:

Jesus: O soul steeped in darkness, do not despair. All is not yet lost. Come and confide in your God, who is love and mercy.

But the soul, deaf even to this appeal, wraps inself in darkness.

Jesus: My child, listen to the voice of your Merciful Father.

In the soul arises this reply: “For me there is no mercy,” and it falls into greater darkness, a despair which is a foretaste of hell and makes it unable to draw near to God. Jesus calls to the soul a third time, but the soul remains deaf and blind, hardened and despairing. Then the mercy of God begins to exert itself, and without any cooperation from the soul, God grants it final grace. If this too is spurned, God will leave the soul in this self-chosen disposition for eternity. This grace emerges from the merciful Heart of Jesus and gives the soul a special light by means of which the soul begins to understand God’s effort, but conversion depends on its own will. The soul knows that this, for her, is final grace and, should it show even a flicker of good will, the mercy of God will accomplish the rest:

Jesus: My omnipotent mercy is active here. Happy the soul that takes advantage of this grace. What joy fills My Heart when you return to me. Because you are weak, I take you in My arms and carry you to the home of My Father.

The soul: (as if awaking, asks fearfully): It is possible that there yet is mercy for me?

Jesus: There is, My child. You have a special claim on My mercy. Let it act in your poor soul; let the rays of grace enter your soul; they bring with them light, warmth, and life.

Soul: But fear fills me at the thought of my sins, and this terrible fear moves me to doubt your goodness.

Jesus: My child, all your sins have not wounded My Heart as painfully as your present lack of trust does–that after so many efforts of my love and mercy, you should still doubt My goodness.

Soul: O Lord, save me Yourself, for I perish. Be my Savior. O Lord, I am unable to say anything more; my pitiful heart is torn asunder; but You, O Lord…
 
CONTINUED…

Jesus does not let the soul finish, but raising it from the ground, from the depths of its misery, He leads it into the recesses of His Heart where all its sins disappear instantly, consumed by the flames of love.

Jesus: Here, soul, are all the treasures of My Heart. Take everything you need from it.

Soul: O Lord, I am inundated with your grace. I sense that a new life has entered into me and, above all, I feel Your love in my heart. That is enough for me. O Lord, I will glorify the omnipotence of your mercy for all eternity. Encouraged by your goodness, I will confide to You all the sorrows of my heart.

Jesus: Tell me all, my child, hide nothing from Me, because My loving Heart, the Heart of your Best Friend, is listening to you.

Soul: O Lord, now I see all my ingratitude and Your goodness. You were pursuing me with your grace, while I was frustrating Your benevolence. I see that I deserve the depths of hell for spurning Your graces.

Jesus: (interrupting) Do not be absorbed in your misery–you are still too weak to speak of it–but, rather, gaze on My Heart filled with goodness, and be imbued with My sentiments. Strive for meekness and humility; be merciful to others, as I am to you; and, when you feel your strength failing, if you come to the fountain of mercy to fortify your soul, you will not grow weary on your journey.

Soul: Now I understand Your mercy, which protects me and, like a brilliant star, leads me into the home of my Father, protecting me from the horrors of hell that I have deserved, not once, but a thousand times. O Lord, eternity will hardly suffice for me to give due praise to Your unfathomable mercy and Your compassion for me.

I hope this helps you. Praying for you!!!
 
Thank you all, your words are comforting and I have been praying over this for some time. I keep hoping that there is a way and have faith that I will survive this but I am not so sure about my fiance and our life as we know it.

This is very hard. I continue to ask for your prayers…as I pray as well.
Thank you all so much for being here for me, even thought I don’t know you and you don’t know the situation, It helps to know there are people who care just for the sake of caring.
 
You do know us:

We are -

heads bowed before God
hands folded in prayer
praying for you daily
that God’s grace is to share

We are -
everyday Catholics
with life issues too
people of God
who are always here for you

May God’s plan for you unfold and reveal its love to you and your fiance. May your fears and anxieties be replaced with love and compassion from family, friends, and your faith community. Peace.
 
Hello,

I will pray for you and your family. I hope that whatever it is that your fiance is going through works outs. Sometimes life seems unfair, but evenually everything works out at the end. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I am sure that you and your family have the strength; you just have to find it.

God Bless,

Gladys

:gopray2:

:angel1:
 
Thank you all for praying for us.
Life does seem very unfair at this point, however I can do nothing else but pray and hope.
I trust that if I explain the situation, you will at least try to understand rather than judging immediately.

As some of you know, my fiance is schitzophrenic.
He is a wonderful man that I am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with, however he does have some mental health issues that we have been working with psychologists to manage.

He was arrested on January 2006 for crimes that I cannot believe that he would have commited in a rational mind. and he faces serious consequenses as a result.
He is being charged with possession of child pornography and distribution.

I’m sure most of you have already made up your decision about him, however there are other issues at play here. DF has auditory hallucinations, paranoid delusions and just plain delusions from time to time. Most of the time you would never know he has them, hower in times like these you are reminded. Most of the time his symptoms get worse when he is under alot of stress. At the time, he was not on medication and under sever stress. I am not making excuses for him, but I know him better than anyone else and I know he is not a threat to anyone but himself. He his delusions have lead him to think that he works for the government from time to time, and I am certain that this incident was most likely part of his delusion, however he cannot confirm nor deny this since we are not married and I may be called to testify on his behalf.

Not for one second, and not with one cell in my body, would I think that he ever would have done this with an alterior motive (perverse or predetory), howeve the rest of our lives are at stake now. He faces up to 10 years in prison and registering with the state of NJ as a sex offender.
He has recently decided to plea not guilty, however if he looses, the judge that would be handling his case is more likely to give him the max than the minimum.
Even if he is found not guilty by reason of diminished capacity, he must register and our life together is in jeopardy.

Since the arrest, he has been working very closely with his psychologist and psychiatrist, to get the proper medication for his condition. He is medication resistent, meaning his body metabolizes the medication before it has a chance to take affect and as a result he is on very high dosages of medication, way above the FDA approved usages. It has taken us so long to get someone to take his mental health seriously and now he stands to loose everything again. His job, his life and his sanity. It is very hard for me to see him in so much pain.

all he sees right now is that he caused this situation, and that he has ruined everything. I am afraid for him, if he is found guilty. I don’t think he will make it. And the most frustrating part is, that he can’t even find a lawyer that is equipped to handle his case. Right now a friend of the family (real estate lawyer) is handleing the case, but he needs a criminal lawyer and no one will look at the case without 7500.00 retainer and 300.00 an hour.
We have looked into a public defender but according to the court he makes too much money.
We have looked into mental health advocacy but they do not handle criminal cases even if this really is a mental health issue that caused a criminal issue.

everything seems to be working agains us, however everything tells me to fight this. Every time I pray, i feel like God is telling me, be strong, fight, everything will work out, but then something else happens and it makes me feel like I am fighting a loosing battle.
 
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