Prayer Request for me, please

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Jaypeeto4

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Dear Friends,
Please pray for me and for my soul.
Going to confession will not solve my problem.
I know that, because I went to confession faithfully and frequently,
and this situation still befell me. I am in spiritual bondage and believe
that I have been under the condemnation of and rejection by God for the past
17 years, even prior to my being received into the Catholic Church.
I have good reasons for believing this. I discovered that God knowingly
allowed me to be under a dangerous, very dangerous, delusion for over 16 years now.
Plus he has allowed me to UNintentionally make potentially catastrophic, horribly
catastrophic, honest mistakes over the past couple of years. He could have providentially protected me, as I was trying to walk faithfully with him, but He didn’t. And now I and my whole family could be in danger. I also believe that he did THIS because of something sinful I did several years ago. I had confessed it, accepted forgiveness, and put it behind me. Now I believe that HE never forgave it, and brought calamity on me NOW to drive the point home.
OR, I could be under attack by the Devil.
If THAT’s the case, my prayers ought to be being answered, or at least be “getting through,” but it really seems they aren’t. I am ready to give up, I really am.
I know I am a sinner, and I don’t want to wail and gnash my teeth at the Lord,
but He surprised me with all these calamities AFTER He let me believe that He was walking with me and helping me at last to grow spiritually.
Thank you for your prayers and God bless all of you.
 
I guess this is how You felt, Jesus.
You had done everything right and with love, but your own townsfolk tried to throw You over a cliff. Religious leaders tread to find various ways of ‘tripping You up" in matters of truth. Those same religious leaders plotted for Your murder and persuaded the crowds to choose a murder rather than You.You were stripped and beaten for no good reason but others’ hate. You were betrayed by a close friend and abandoned by all but one of Your closest friends and daily companions who had seen and heard Your goodness daily. After torture you were slowly executed as a criminal. All your efforts seemed in vain, all Your love, crushed and rejected, but for a tiny handful of women and one close friend You felt so bad that You cried out to the Father, "Why have You abandoned Me.? But despite everything you asked for Gd’s will to be done, and at the end, You forgave your murderers, and gave Your spirit into the Father’s hands…

And Mother Mary…you heard the whisperers, you heard the clamour rising against your beloved, good, sinless Son.
You saw Him physically destroyed, barely recognizable, your being was mute with the most terrible grief, you the kindest and most pure of women, the most tender Mother.

One of my children went through a prolonged horrific time last year. He is a good, honest, hard-working man. Then one day, suddenly, it was over.

I ask You Jesus to help this suffering person. Carry Jaypeeto4 and Jaypeeto4’s family through this awful time.
Please help Jaypeeto4 to remain fixed on You and hoping in You even if no hope seems possible.
Please hear the prayers of this anguished person’s heart and mind.
 
An interesting time you are going through my friend. I don’t pretend to know exactly what journey you are on, but for some reason when I was reading your request, the book of Job came to mind.

When I am in a calamity, I do pick up my Bible. I tend to read the Psalms, and I hear my voice in all of the cries to God. I also read Job.

I won’t go into my own spiritual history or the catastrophes that have visited me or my family, except to say it’s been “quite a ride”, but I will share that perseverance, even in the face of thinking God has given up is a key to growing in peace and maintaining it.

What I am praying for you, dear heart, is this:

That in the midst of the storm, God’s peace visits your heart. I pray that in the midst of the storm, you recognize His peace, and welcome it. I see in my heart, all of the apostles in the boat, thinking they were going to die, and Jesus just sleeping away. They were certain of their doom. They were also aware that Jesus was God. Even having The Messiah with them, they panicked and were at odds. Jesus is very very close to you dear heart, and the storm is all around you. Don’t blame the storm on Jesus, just trust that calling and abiding, as he calls us to, will bring peace. It’s peace that we all need, isn’t it, not anxiety, not worry, not anger, not blame, not any of that. It’s peace.

Dear heart, I pray that you have peace. Peace beyond all understanding. And however our Lord chooses to lead you through this storm, I bid you peace.

Amen
 
My friend, thr troubles of this world remind us that this is not our home, we will only feel at home with the Lord. Don’t think that God is bringing these troubles on you in revenge for your past. Consider the things Paul suffered for his faith
2Corinthians 11:23 Are they servants of Christ? I am a fool to talk this way, but I serve him better than they do. I have worked harder and have been put in jail more times. I have been beaten with whips more and have been in danger of death more often. 24 Five times the Jews gave me thirty-nine lashes with a whip. 25 Three times the Romans beat me with a big stick, and once my enemies stoned me. I have been shipwrecked three times, and I even had to spend a night and a day in the sea. 26 During my many travels, I have been in danger from rivers, robbers, my own people, and foreigners. My life has been in danger in cities, in deserts, at sea, and with people who only pretended to be the Lord’s followers. 27 I have worked and struggled and spent many sleepless nights. I have gone hungry and thirsty and often had nothing to eat. I have been cold from not having enough clothes to keep me warm. 28 Besides everything else, each day I am burdened down, worrying about all the churches.
Rest assured God has forgiven you, Paul went through all these trials and was probably the greatest missionary in history. Continue praying, continue reading God’s Word, don’t give up. I, and others, are praying for you. God is mighty to save. Read these words written by the man who suffered all the things listed above.

2Corinthians 4:13 In the Scriptures it says, “I spoke because I had faith.” We have that same kind of faith. So we speak 14 because we know that God raised the Lord Jesus to life. And just as God raised Jesus, he will also raise us to life. Then he will bring us into his presence together with you.15 All of this has been done for you, so that more and more people will know how kind God is and will praise and honor him. 16 We never give up. Our bodies are gradually dying, but we ourselves are being made stronger each day. 17 These little troubles are getting us ready for an eternal glory that will make all our troubles seem like nothing. 18 Things that are seen don’t last forever, but things that are not seen are eternal. That’s why we keep our minds on the things that cannot be seen.

God Bless you, my brother.
 
Thank you, beloved people, for your kind prayers.

However, I do want to clarify something.
In your posts above, you reminded me of the sufferings of Jesus, and
the sufferings of Job.
There’s just some trouble with that however.
Jesus was always righteous. JOB, too, was a righteous man.
I absolutely am not righteous. I have been very, very sinful.
I had repented of all the serious sins that I was aware of.
But I kept smoking cigarets even though I promised God over and over that I would quit.
Isn’t that a form of despising God? Maybe he got tired of my false promises.
(( I no longer smoke, but economic circumstances forced that on me really )).
But in general, prior to May of 2010, it really seemed that He was helping me grow spiritually and morally. Even my prayer life was improving. But, having been laid off from my longtime job in 2009, I was becoming despondent about not being able to find any promising job leads. It began to seem that God was maneuvering me into a disaster situation. I couldn’t understand WHY, but it really seemed that way. THEN, about that time (May of 2010), I would be watching EWTN, and began to feel very, very very DIRECTLY CONDEMNED by the content of the homilies. Not “convicted,” no, but actually Condemned. It was as if God was revealing to me that I was just about one of the WORST sinners who had ever lived. I began to get very, very, very sick over this, and it kept happening in homily after homily. It was as if God were telling me,
“Guess what, I NEVER KNEW YOU, GET AWAY FROM ME.”
My body, literally, began to heat up and burn all over, throwing off intense heat.
Lying on my bed, my mattress and pillow would become fiery hot from my body heat.
I couldn’t sleep. It got to where I was sleeping only 20 minutes a night. This went on and on and on. There is so much more, and so much worse that has happened than all of this, but I don’t want to put it online. Let’s just say that I am at the end of my rope, spiritually, mentally, and morally. I can’t take much more of this. I am scared to death for my folks and for myself. I don’t want to renounce God,
BUT if He is forcing me away, driving me away (like he did to sinful King Saul),
then what is the use of continuing to try??? I don’t know which end is up.
Thank you for all your prayers. You good Christians are much better persons than I
am, I have no doubt about that. That’s why I ask you for your prayers, because as James says, “The persevering prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”
Thank you for your prayers and may the Lord bless all of you.
 
A Prayer to the Wounded Heart of Jesus intended for Jaypeeto4.

O my Most Loving and Gentle Jesus, I desire with all the affections of my heart, that all beings should praise Thee, honor Thee and glorify Thee eternally for that sacred wound wherewith Thy divine side was rent. I deposit, enclose, conceal in that wound and in that opening in Thy Heart, my heart and all my feelings, thoughts, desires, intentions and all the faculties of my soul. I entreat Thee, by the precious Blood and Water that flowed from Thy Most Loving Heart, to take entire possession of me, that Thou may guide me in all things. Consume me in the burning fire of thy holy Love, so that I may be so absorbed and transformed into Thee that I may no longer be but one with Thee.

Amen.
 
JayPeeto, there is no question that the Lord is Just, but He is also full of Mercy. That’s why He gave His life up on a cross. Consider praying the chaplet to the Divine Mercy and learning about this devotion. It’s not a substitute for confession, but it may help you when you feel like God has rejected you.

“Jesus, I trust in You.”

I am praying for you …
 
Hi PassionFlower !!
Thank you for recommending the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy.
It is a beautiful devotion.
I have tried praying it. Jesus told Saint Faustina that
“even the MOST HARDENED sinner, if he prays this Chaplet even once,
will WITHOUT FAIL receive grace from My Mercy.”
That is a wonderful promise. I have prayed the Chaplet repeatedly.
I still seem to be getting no help and to be getting worse. I just don’t get it.
Not only that,
but prior to all this trouble, I had for two years in a row
fulfilled ALL the requirements for the plenary indulgence promised
on Divine Mercy Sunday, namely, complete forgiveness of all sin
and COMPLETE erasing of all PUNISHMENT due to sins forgiven up to that point.
Well, in spite of that,
it seems (note I say “seems”) that God is punishing me for sins of years and years and
years ago. So I don’t know what to believe anymore. I am losing my mind.
 
Dear friend, may Our Lord help you to understand that he is merely purifying you and not condemning/punishing you. May he help you see that he purifies humble, repentant sinners and does not punish them because they are very pleasing in his eyes. May you know that your true contrition and your confession of sins to a priest has made you truly forgiven and pleasing to the Lord. May the Lord help you to see that if you have made some bad choices in the past you could just be experiencing the effects of those actions; but through it all, God is only permitting you to suffer so you will grow stronger in faith, hope and love - to purify you and to make you stronger, not to condemn you. May the Lord help you not to give into despair and help you to know that the more he loves us the more suffering he sends our way. May the Lord help you to see that the sufferings God permits us to experience are an act of his tender mercy and are not coming from his wrath, as these sufferings are sent by him so we can atone for our sins and/or be more glorified in heaven. May the Lord help you to know that the way of the cross and great suffering is the way he has laid out for his biggest of saints … and for all of us. May you know that if the Lord didn’t love you he would give you everything you desired in this life free of suffering, like he does for some people who could care less about him and their salvation, who will be condemned in hell when their lives are all over. May you use this time of suffering to grow in the virtues of faith, hope and love, and grow only closer to the Lord ,and greater in trust of him. May you trust in his goodness and providence and know that he loves you infinitely. Please do not distrust the Lord because St. Faustina’s diary points out that distrust hurts the Lord more than anything else. May you persevere in a state of grace (praying ceaselessly to the Lord for your needs) and trust that the Lord loves you dearly and will assist you in the way that is best for your soul (just pray humbly before him with trust). May you know he loves you so much that he is giving you this opportunity to be more glorified in heaven. May you know that saints have pointed out that the greater our suffering, the greater Our Lord’s love for us. May God help you to understand that this life is but a vale of tears and that God will reward in the next life his humble repentant children who carry their crosses patiently and lovingly. May you know that Satan is deceiving you into believing that you are condemned … he wants to make you despair and will do everything to make you anxious and lose your peace. May you pray to Mary for her help and protection against this deception. May you meet with a spiritual director regularly so he can assist you. Mother Mary, please intercede. Lord, have mercy and do not let this good soul give up trusting in you. Amen.
 
Obsculta said:
A Prayer to the Wounded Heart of Jesus intended for Jaypeeto4.

O my Most Loving and Gentle Jesus, I desire with all the affections of my heart, that all beings should praise Thee, honor Thee and glorify Thee eternally for that sacred wound wherewith Thy divine side was rent. I deposit, enclose, conceal in that wound and in that opening in Thy Heart, my heart and all my feelings, thoughts, desires, intentions and all the faculties of my soul. I entreat Thee, by the precious Blood and Water that flowed from Thy Most Loving Heart, to take entire possession of me, that Thou may guide me in all things. Consume me in the burning fire of thy holy Love, so that I may be so absorbed and transformed into Thee that I may no longer be but one with Thee.

Amen.
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Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, I trust in You!
 
To all of you dear people who have prayed and are praying for me,
thank you so very, very much. May God bless all of you.

And just in case I *** am *** under Divine Wrath,
if you pray for me,
please ask God to help me only if it is in harmony with His Holy Will.

God bless you all.
 
Jaypeeto4 said:
To all of you dear people who have prayed and are praying for me,
thank you so very, very much. May God bless all of you.

And just in case I *** am *** under Divine Wrath,
if you pray for me,
please ask God to help me only if it is in harmony with His Holy Will.

God bless you all.
Click to expand...
Lord, you may send us chastisements but I know these chastisemnts are only a manifestation of your great love for us. If you didn’t love us, you wouldn’t chastise us.

Lord, if we pray for your assistance, you will assist us, either in the way we ask for or in a way that is better for our souls. You promised to hear and answer the prayers of your children, so please help Jaypeeto to know this and help him to pray ceaselessly for all of his needs. You would only refuse to hear his prayers if he were proud, because you resist the proud. Please help Jaypeeto, Lord. He is your humble servant. Please have mercy on him and assist him to trust in your love for him. Mother Mary, intercede for Jaypeeto. Amen.
 
Jaypeeto4 said:
To all of you dear people who have prayed and are praying for me,
thank you so very, very much. May God bless all of you.

And just in case I *** am *** under Divine Wrath,
if you pray for me,
please ask God to help me only if it is in harmony with His Holy Will.

God bless you all.
Click to expand...
Praying for your intentions….

Lord Jesus, You have said, “Learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart.” With confidence in Your loving heart which offers rest to weary souls, we come to You in this time of special need. In Your unfailing love, read the prayer that is written on our hearts, and grant the grace that we ask of You, in accordance with Your holy will. In Your name we pray.
Amen.
 
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