N
Nightfly
Guest
Hello,
Thank yo so much!
Know that you are not alone. Many man (and some women as well) turn to porn and other addictive behaviors to compensate for something, to (temporarily) relieve stress or anxiety, or for just due to an inability to fight temptation. Even worse, they may have even convinced themselves and others that there isn’t anything wrong with it.
For many years I was in the latter camp. I masturbated to porn on my computer for years while I was single. Then, after I was married, I did it in the bathroom with my iPhone. My wife never had the slightest idea. First it was Playboy style stuff, then hardcore, then more perverted straight porn (I won’t go into details), then gay, bisexual, you name it. Before you know it the “plain vanilla” porn didn’t do it for me. I convinced myself there wasn’t anything wrong with it (I had fallen away and hadn’t been a believer for a long time)
A few months ago I had a conversion experience and rejoined the Church. Part of rejoining the Church was going to confession. After I got serious about faith I stopped with the porn completely, but I knew I had to tell my wife about what I had done. But, one day I just blurted it out, “honey, I used to have a porn problem.” She was shocked and I could tell she was very hurt (understandably so as her husband had been lying to her for years). But, she forgave me and our relationship has been much stronger since. I went to confession with a priest and confessed everything. You don’t have to go into all the gory details, but confess. It’s hard to do, but the freedom from living in deceit is an incredible transformation. If you do this, you are already stronger then many, many men out there in thrall this sin. Since then my marriage and my life have been amazing, I can only thank God for giving me the strength and courage to face up to this honestly. I pray that you and all men struggling with this be given this courage. Living in the light is the only way to truly live.
