Prayer to stop divorce

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ncfjj

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My husband and I are both Catholic. He never believed in divorce, until recently. We have been married for 11 years now. Last year he suffered a brain trauma, and then I got pregnant a few months later. It was a miracle as we were told the chances of getting pregnant without infertility treatment were extremely slim. The stress of work (he’s in the Army, and me being pregnant and high risked caused him to have panic attacks, and depression. In March, shortly after coming off of post patum pelvic rest, he became emotionally involved with another woman. He confessed everything to me, and I forgave and wanted us to move forward. He struggled with his obsession with her, and clung to me. I never turned him away. In May, he finally broke it off. Shortly thereafter, he told me that he didn’t love me any more and wanted a divorce. I pursued marriage counseling, and tried to be a better wife. The counselor agree with my husband for the divorce to make a “clean break to restart.”. I turned heavily to God in this, and have even pointed out the scripture we used for the wedding of “what God has united no man shall divide.”. He said he meant that for my mom who had been interfering. He told me that he knows God doesn’t like divorce, but this is what he needs. I’m trying very hard to be the submissive wife, but we go to court on Friday for the finalization of it. I love my husband very much, always have, and this doesn’t seem like the man I know at all. Prayers are definitely appreciated to stop the divorce, save our marriage, and bring him back fully to God. He says he’s going to church, praying, and reading the bible, so it just doesn’t seem to mesh with his pursing this.
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
I’m very sorry, it’s sounds like your husband may have had a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) which can change the personality or produce less inhibition in behavior. Your marriage may be a casualty of war and I am very sorry to say there is a high divorce rate in the armed forces at the moment. Have you both talked to a priest? Was he deployed with he was injured?

Our family will pray for you but know that you are doing all you can to save your marriage. God bless you.
 
Lord God, I lift up to Your loving mercy and compassion ncfjj and her husband. Please wrap them both within Your loving fatherly embrace as they go through this difficult time. Touch their hearts, minds, and souls. Remind them both, esp. the husband, of the promises and vows they made on their wedding day to each other, their families, their community, and most esp. to you. Ease the pain and suffering they are both undergoing. I especially commend to You ncfjj who has remained staedfast in her love and devotion to her husband. Please continue to heal her husband who was injured last year. You, O Lord, are a God of miracles. Nothing is impossible with You. I pray for a reconciliation for this couple. May this event in their lives serve to strengthen them in the future as a couple. All these I ask in the name of Jesus, through the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Amen.

St. Joseph, pray for them
St. Rita, pray for them
St. Monica, pray for them
St. Jude, pray for them
St. Anthony, pray for them
St. Rose, pray for them
St. Therese, pray for them
St. Philomena, pray for them
Blessed John Paul II, pray for them
 
Dear Lord, I pray for healing for your children. May their restless hearts find their peace in You. Amen.
 
Kindness said:
I’m very sorry, it’s sounds like your husband may have had a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) which can change the personality or produce less inhibition in behavior. Your marriage may be a casualty of war and I am very sorry to say there is a high divorce rate in the armed forces at the moment. Have you both talked to a priest? Was he deployed with he was injured?

Our family will pray for you but know that you are doing all you can to save your marriage. God bless you.
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He was away at a training exercise when he went to jump a barrier at the PX. He flipped back and his head slammed into the ground fracturing his skull. He suffered from headaches for about two weeks before things calmed down. He seemed relatively normal, and things were going well until after he met that woman. He actually went back on his anxiety and depression medication because of the guilt he had been feeling. He kept telling me it wasn’t my fault, and then all of a sudden, when he couldn’t reconcile his behavior, he turned and blamed me. I may not be a perfect wife, but I’m not a bad wife. He was very involved in our church, and ministry, and our retreat community (ACTS), and now has dropped out of all of it. I see glimpses of the man I know, but they are getting farther, and father between. In do believe that nothing is impossible with God, and that he can fix this.

We talked to a Chaplin. He wanted someone who was married, so they could understand his view. The Chaplin thought the marriage was salvageable. My husband said he felt he needed a divorce for a clean break, but then now he talks contrary.

I know God hears our prayers, so I figure asking for prayers for him, and this situation can only help.
 
I am so sorry, and I will keep you in my prayers. I know how devastated you must be.

Please forgive/ignore me if you don’t want to address this, but is there a way that you can stall the legal proceedings? In my state, if one person does not want the divorce, the other has to wait 2 years in order to file. It took 3 years for my husband to get a divorce from me. It didn’t help - he still left, but he had no spiritual background whatsoever. Your husband is in a ‘fog’ - the extent to which it is due to his injury, I don’t know, but it’s very common for a spouse to be completely irrational due to their infatuation with the other person. It is really impossible to get through to them at that point. Would you consider telling him he has to leave, having no contact with him, etc - so that he can get a real sense of what it will be like to be without you? There is a lot of good advice online and some support forums for what you are going through. It’s sad to say, but it may not be the best thing for the marriage right now for you to be an obedient wife. Whatever you do, don’t agree to dissolution of the marriage if that isn’t what you want and you can delay it. Maybe, in time, he will come to his senses. If you let him go to this woman, the fantasy may melt away and he will see the error of his ways.
 
ncfjj said:
My husband and I are both Catholic. He never believed in divorce, until recently. We have been married for 11 years now. Last year he suffered a brain trauma, and then I got pregnant a few months later. It was a miracle as we were told the chances of getting pregnant without infertility treatment were extremely slim. The stress of work (he’s in the Army, and me being pregnant and high risked caused him to have panic attacks, and depression. In March, shortly after coming off of post patum pelvic rest, he became emotionally involved with another woman. He confessed everything to me, and I forgave and wanted us to move forward. He struggled with his obsession with her, and clung to me. I never turned him away. In May, he finally broke it off. Shortly thereafter, he told me that he didn’t love me any more and wanted a divorce. I pursued marriage counseling, and tried to be a better wife. The counselor agree with my husband for the divorce to make a “clean break to restart.”. I turned heavily to God in this, and have even pointed out the scripture we used for the wedding of “what God has united no man shall divide.”. He said he meant that for my mom who had been interfering. He told me that he knows God doesn’t like divorce, but this is what he needs. I’m trying very hard to be the submissive wife, but we go to court on Friday for the finalization of it. I love my husband very much, always have, and this doesn’t seem like the man I know at all. Prayers are definitely appreciated to stop the divorce, save our marriage, and bring him back fully to God. He says he’s going to church, praying, and reading the bible, so it just doesn’t seem to mesh with his pursing this.
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You are certainly in my prayers tonight I will remember you throughtout the week and If I get a chance to go to adoration chapel I will remember you there too. I am going through something similar with my marriage. Try to be strong. Pray to saint Joseph he is a very strong saint to pray to in these circumstances. Everyday at 3:00 say the chaplet of divine mercy God will not refuse us anything that we ask of him at this hour. This is a very strong and fufiling prayer. Be strong and hope and faith because above all you are loved by God!
 
It angers me so much to see what the supposed marriage counselor said to him. Unfortunately, a lot of times marriage counselors can end up hurting more than it helps. Have you pointed out to him what the bible says about divorce? Does he realize what a grave sin it is, and how devastating for the entire family? Does he understand that, in the eyes of the church, if he divorces you and remarries, he will always be an adulterer and will have caused you to either 1) seek and annulment, 2) remain celibate, or 3) become an adulteress if you enter into another relationship?

I will pray for you!
 
DAML72 said:
I am so sorry, and I will keep you in my prayers. I know how devastated you must be.

Please forgive/ignore me if you don’t want to address this, but is there a way that you can stall the legal proceedings? In my state, if one person does not want the divorce, the other has to wait 2 years in order to file. It took 3 years for my husband to get a divorce from me. It didn’t help - he still left, but he had no spiritual background whatsoever. Your husband is in a ‘fog’ - the extent to which it is due to his injury, I don’t know, but it’s very common for a spouse to be completely irrational due to their infatuation with the other person. It is really impossible to get through to them at that point. Would you consider telling him he has to leave, having no contact with him, etc - so that he can get a real sense of what it will be like to be without you? There is a lot of good advice online and some support forums for what you are going through. It’s sad to say, but it may not be the best thing for the marriage right now for you to be an obedient wife. Whatever you do, don’t agree to dissolution of the marriage if that isn’t what you want and you can delay it. Maybe, in time, he will come to his senses. If you let him go to this woman, the fantasy may melt away and he will see the error of his ways.
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We live in Texas, so there is no mandatory seperation time. Just a 60 day cooling off period. The only way to delay would be God intervening, as contesting would only tick him off and drive him further away. He has no contact at all with that other woman, as she did something to upset him. Contact between us is really unavoidable, as we have 3 small children. I would say a “fog” is a really good way to describe his behavior.
 
Unfortunately, there isn’t very many good marriage counselors out there. On the website dads.org there is a page that discusses how to choose a good marriage counselor and there isn’t very many that are catholic and can work around our traditional values that we are required by in our faith. Marriage counseling almost destroyed my marriage the first time me and my husband went through something similar eight years ago. After we quit going I stuck to my guns and prayed every single solitary minute of the day. There were times that it was hard, but as time went on I finally came to the conclusion that God was the only one who could counsel me spiritually. With that faith I grew stronger in his love and trust. Please know he is there with you now in your struggle and he is indeed carrying you. Pray that your husband will know that this thrill he has with the other woman is superficial and temporay.
 
Oh my goodness. Sixty days - the law certainly is not favorable to marriage, is it? Stay strong ncfjj! The power of prayer is amazing!
 
DAML72 said:
Oh my goodness. Sixty days - the law certainly is not favorable to marriage, is it? Stay strong ncfjj! The power of prayer is amazing!
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No, it isn’t. I have been praying constantly. One of my consolations, is that one day at daily mass, part of the priest homily, which didn’t really seem to relate to the rest of it was “God hears your prayer, he just asks you to be patient.” It seemed to be the answer to the question I had been praying about. Thank you all for your encouragement, and prayer.
 
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be
done, on earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our
trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil. Amen

Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee
blessed art thou among women and
blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus
Holy Mary mother of God pray for us
sinners now and at the hour of our death
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end Amen
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
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