N
nico1089
Guest
hi folks, i am not sure what to ask for. Usually i only get as far as “thy will be done in me”.
i have recently been diagnosed with cancer and underwent surgery and am now in “treatment”. Actually i am in between a series of treatments and just underwent an exam to check progress. There doesn’t seem to be any. i am disappointed because i put a lot of effort into changing my diet and making all the necessary med appointments. i am more than disappointed, i am downright depressed. i don’t know why i am depressed–i am not too concerned with death (i am 60 years old and lived a full exciting life). i know god will take care of my family if i die. i am not suicidal, i just feel like quitting the treatments and diet and just let death come. i have a history of depression and have been given drugs in the past for it, but nothing seemed to work, the depressions just lifted by themselves (that seems to be the way they come–spontaneously). i am tired of being depressed, nothing seems interesting anymore.The physical pain is over for now. The worst suffering is i am unable to pray(or think clearly), and prayer is the joy of my life. i know that god allows suffering for a reason. Sometimes to develop patience, or for sins commited, or to prevent some suffering after death. i feel guilty asking to be relieved of suffering. Christ bore his suffering without a word of complaint although he didn’t need to. i don’t know what to do, if i knew the reason for my pain perhaps i could bear up better. i am tired, perhaps due to the illness. Please pray that i might be able to pray.peace,–nicolo
i have recently been diagnosed with cancer and underwent surgery and am now in “treatment”. Actually i am in between a series of treatments and just underwent an exam to check progress. There doesn’t seem to be any. i am disappointed because i put a lot of effort into changing my diet and making all the necessary med appointments. i am more than disappointed, i am downright depressed. i don’t know why i am depressed–i am not too concerned with death (i am 60 years old and lived a full exciting life). i know god will take care of my family if i die. i am not suicidal, i just feel like quitting the treatments and diet and just let death come. i have a history of depression and have been given drugs in the past for it, but nothing seemed to work, the depressions just lifted by themselves (that seems to be the way they come–spontaneously). i am tired of being depressed, nothing seems interesting anymore.The physical pain is over for now. The worst suffering is i am unable to pray(or think clearly), and prayer is the joy of my life. i know that god allows suffering for a reason. Sometimes to develop patience, or for sins commited, or to prevent some suffering after death. i feel guilty asking to be relieved of suffering. Christ bore his suffering without a word of complaint although he didn’t need to. i don’t know what to do, if i knew the reason for my pain perhaps i could bear up better. i am tired, perhaps due to the illness. Please pray that i might be able to pray.peace,–nicolo
