T
Thoughtfulone
Guest
thank you in advance for reading this…it’s a bit long
My brother is 21. Our Dad died when I was 16 and he was 4, and he has always struggled with a very deep sadness about this because he cannot really remember anything about our Dad at all. After our Dad died, our Mom married his brother (in grief, I think…it was less than a year later and I can’t even believe the Church approved this). He turned out to be a complete jerk. He was cruel to her and my brother and they ended up getting a divorce a few years later and then an annulment. 5 years ago, she married a wonderful man, but he is not Catholic. She has taught him a lot about Christ and he is actually a firm believer now, but they do not attend catholic Church (they actually teach RE at their church and Mom thinks “Once a Catholic, always a Catholic”. She doesn’t see anything wrong with this, but sees it as standing by her husband and bringing him to Christ, which is wonderful, but I really wish she still attended Mass!).
About 6 months ago, he got out of a very serious relationship with his long-time girlfriend whom he loved very much, which devastated him, and now he seems to think that all women are sluts and whores (sorry for the language)
Anyway, my brother had a suicide attempt (pills) after he and his gf broke up for the first time and he dropped out of college. He came home to go to school, but repeatedly failed out of his classes until my Mom and her husband finally cut him off. He begged for another chance and they got him his own apartment, paid for his classes and got him a full-time job working for my Mom’s husband. He stopped going to school and work and left my step-dad hanging out to dry. He had a psychotic episode brought on by adderall use (prescribed) during which he though he was sending and receiving texts messages from my Dad. he was sent to the psych ward for a few days for an evaluation because they though he was schitzophrenic, which he is not, just severely depressed according to the shrink. The shrink put him on seroquel and set up many appointments for him and he was doing great until he stopped going and stopped taking his meds. He laid around for over a month before mom and her husband finally told him he had to get a full time job or get out. He left and we took him in.
we really thought he was on the right track. We supported him for 2.5 months while he started working out and looking for work (he is SO not motivated). We wanted him to find something he could get excited about so we were very supportive of anything he wanted to do. My husband managed to get him a job at his company working from home taking phone calls. We fixed up a computer for him and everything and he agreed to pay 500 dollars a month in rent. This whole thing cost us about 2000 dollars over 2.5 months, but we were happy to do it and excited that he finally seemed to have direction. After a month, he stopped working altogether. He told us he was having login issues and was working on it with his boss, but after 4 days, it was obvious to us that he had just stopped. He lied and lied until I told him my husband was calling his boss to straighten things out at which point he finally confessed.
Of course, my husband was very upset. My brother never said a word about it to him, just went on like normal until my husband confronted him and told him they needed to talk about it and when he was ready, he could approach him. I told him the same thing. He has refused and just goes on like nothing happened. It has been 2 weeks and he still has not gotten a job. Soon, he will not make rent and we will have to ask him to leave. We cannot afford to support him, nor do we want to!
He lies about EVERYTHING, always has (compulsively so), and recently started saying that he doesn’t believe in Jesus or the CC (he is confirmed, btw) and he never goes to church.
The thing is, despite all this, he is WONDERFUL with my son and is really a good guy at heart. We have always had a great relationship and I love him to death. He is funny and great to be around most of the time.
I don’t know what to do. I have been praying for him for so long and he just keeps screwing his life up more and more. He is lazy and depressed and selfsh and closed off and doesn’t want to do anything with his life! I mean, he constantly screws over the people who love him the most and who he loves the most in return! I don’t get it!!! You would think that th last thing in the world he would want to do is ruin his relationship with my husband (whom he adores and admires so much) or our step-dad, whom he also loves.
My Mom thinks it’s a mental disorder and that he will eventually commit suicide, while I think he is making excuses for himself and just being a selfish jerk for the most part.
It seems like he only cares about himself and will do anything not to have to work or get out of bed! It’s 10 after 4 and he is still asleep!
Prayers and advice are welcome!!!
My brother is 21. Our Dad died when I was 16 and he was 4, and he has always struggled with a very deep sadness about this because he cannot really remember anything about our Dad at all. After our Dad died, our Mom married his brother (in grief, I think…it was less than a year later and I can’t even believe the Church approved this). He turned out to be a complete jerk. He was cruel to her and my brother and they ended up getting a divorce a few years later and then an annulment. 5 years ago, she married a wonderful man, but he is not Catholic. She has taught him a lot about Christ and he is actually a firm believer now, but they do not attend catholic Church (they actually teach RE at their church and Mom thinks “Once a Catholic, always a Catholic”. She doesn’t see anything wrong with this, but sees it as standing by her husband and bringing him to Christ, which is wonderful, but I really wish she still attended Mass!).
About 6 months ago, he got out of a very serious relationship with his long-time girlfriend whom he loved very much, which devastated him, and now he seems to think that all women are sluts and whores (sorry for the language)
Anyway, my brother had a suicide attempt (pills) after he and his gf broke up for the first time and he dropped out of college. He came home to go to school, but repeatedly failed out of his classes until my Mom and her husband finally cut him off. He begged for another chance and they got him his own apartment, paid for his classes and got him a full-time job working for my Mom’s husband. He stopped going to school and work and left my step-dad hanging out to dry. He had a psychotic episode brought on by adderall use (prescribed) during which he though he was sending and receiving texts messages from my Dad. he was sent to the psych ward for a few days for an evaluation because they though he was schitzophrenic, which he is not, just severely depressed according to the shrink. The shrink put him on seroquel and set up many appointments for him and he was doing great until he stopped going and stopped taking his meds. He laid around for over a month before mom and her husband finally told him he had to get a full time job or get out. He left and we took him in.
we really thought he was on the right track. We supported him for 2.5 months while he started working out and looking for work (he is SO not motivated). We wanted him to find something he could get excited about so we were very supportive of anything he wanted to do. My husband managed to get him a job at his company working from home taking phone calls. We fixed up a computer for him and everything and he agreed to pay 500 dollars a month in rent. This whole thing cost us about 2000 dollars over 2.5 months, but we were happy to do it and excited that he finally seemed to have direction. After a month, he stopped working altogether. He told us he was having login issues and was working on it with his boss, but after 4 days, it was obvious to us that he had just stopped. He lied and lied until I told him my husband was calling his boss to straighten things out at which point he finally confessed.
Of course, my husband was very upset. My brother never said a word about it to him, just went on like normal until my husband confronted him and told him they needed to talk about it and when he was ready, he could approach him. I told him the same thing. He has refused and just goes on like nothing happened. It has been 2 weeks and he still has not gotten a job. Soon, he will not make rent and we will have to ask him to leave. We cannot afford to support him, nor do we want to!
He lies about EVERYTHING, always has (compulsively so), and recently started saying that he doesn’t believe in Jesus or the CC (he is confirmed, btw) and he never goes to church.
The thing is, despite all this, he is WONDERFUL with my son and is really a good guy at heart. We have always had a great relationship and I love him to death. He is funny and great to be around most of the time.
I don’t know what to do. I have been praying for him for so long and he just keeps screwing his life up more and more. He is lazy and depressed and selfsh and closed off and doesn’t want to do anything with his life! I mean, he constantly screws over the people who love him the most and who he loves the most in return! I don’t get it!!! You would think that th last thing in the world he would want to do is ruin his relationship with my husband (whom he adores and admires so much) or our step-dad, whom he also loves.
My Mom thinks it’s a mental disorder and that he will eventually commit suicide, while I think he is making excuses for himself and just being a selfish jerk for the most part.
It seems like he only cares about himself and will do anything not to have to work or get out of bed! It’s 10 after 4 and he is still asleep!
Prayers and advice are welcome!!!