C
carmelitenovice
Guest
Hello:
I apologize in advance for this lengthy post.
I need some prayers and advice concerning a chronic problem with my siblings in law.
We have been married many years. My husband is the only married sibling out of four. There is one other sibling who is divorced, the other two are single.
The chronic problem is my siblings-in-law tend to ignore me. Although I try at every family gathering to be pleasant (i.e., making the usual efforts at conversation, “What’s new? How’s the job? How about those (insert sports team)?” etc.; helping out with setting up/cleaning up holiday meals etc.; extending sincere compliments for accomplishments, haircuts etc.) they never reciprocate. There have been extended weekends (family reunions etc.), where they did not speak to me unless I spoke first.
The problem also extends to phone calls, social media, and texting. None of us are the type to get on the phone to chat but I have on occasion contacted them to offer help and support (for example, I’m in the recruiting industry and offered my services for free when one of them was threatened with a job loss. Likewise, I recently offered to connect one of them (who was recently diagnosed with a chronic debilitating illness) with friend of mine with the same diagnosis. I have also shared cute FB cartoons that seemed to relate to their careers, interests etc…).
In all cases, crickets… (i.e., no response whatsoever). Yet, later, things will be said in passing that make it clear they have received the message, they just choose to not respond to me.
While I’ve prayed about it and confessed my anger/frustration about it many times, I don’t know what to do about it – if anything:
On the one hand, there’s the whole definition of insanity argument: “It’s insanity to keep doing the same thing yet expect a different result.” If I don’t say anything, nothing will change.
On the other, there is the example of countless saints, who were able to put up with a lot from their family members without saying a word, in imitation of Christ, who was a silent lamb lead to slaughter. Also, because of the difficulty of the situation, I fear that anything I say will only make things worse.
I’ve tried not to include my husband in this struggle as he has enough issues to deal with. Also, we are all adults, I should be able to handle this as an adult, right?
I apologize for the length of this post and thank you all for your prayers and advice.
God bless,
I apologize in advance for this lengthy post.
I need some prayers and advice concerning a chronic problem with my siblings in law.
We have been married many years. My husband is the only married sibling out of four. There is one other sibling who is divorced, the other two are single.
The chronic problem is my siblings-in-law tend to ignore me. Although I try at every family gathering to be pleasant (i.e., making the usual efforts at conversation, “What’s new? How’s the job? How about those (insert sports team)?” etc.; helping out with setting up/cleaning up holiday meals etc.; extending sincere compliments for accomplishments, haircuts etc.) they never reciprocate. There have been extended weekends (family reunions etc.), where they did not speak to me unless I spoke first.
The problem also extends to phone calls, social media, and texting. None of us are the type to get on the phone to chat but I have on occasion contacted them to offer help and support (for example, I’m in the recruiting industry and offered my services for free when one of them was threatened with a job loss. Likewise, I recently offered to connect one of them (who was recently diagnosed with a chronic debilitating illness) with friend of mine with the same diagnosis. I have also shared cute FB cartoons that seemed to relate to their careers, interests etc…).
In all cases, crickets… (i.e., no response whatsoever). Yet, later, things will be said in passing that make it clear they have received the message, they just choose to not respond to me.
While I’ve prayed about it and confessed my anger/frustration about it many times, I don’t know what to do about it – if anything:
On the one hand, there’s the whole definition of insanity argument: “It’s insanity to keep doing the same thing yet expect a different result.” If I don’t say anything, nothing will change.
On the other, there is the example of countless saints, who were able to put up with a lot from their family members without saying a word, in imitation of Christ, who was a silent lamb lead to slaughter. Also, because of the difficulty of the situation, I fear that anything I say will only make things worse.
I’ve tried not to include my husband in this struggle as he has enough issues to deal with. Also, we are all adults, I should be able to handle this as an adult, right?
I apologize for the length of this post and thank you all for your prayers and advice.
God bless,
It was an email from my mom asking if I was alive. Meanwhile, my husband gets antsy if he hasn’t spoken to his parents in the last two days.
) but you have my prayers.
