M
misspriss
Guest
It’s a complicated and long situation, but I will try and keep it short to get to the real issue of my post. About 4 years ago, my mother passed away. She had a painful illness that slowly robbed her of her function and life. She and my father were married 37 years. I am one of 3 sisters, my older sister and I were out of the house already. My younger sister and my dad cared for her until she passed (younger sister was 16-18 during her illness). Since she passed, my dad has gone through a lot of phases. He also was in a couple of serious relationships that ended badly, he was so desperate to not be alone but then he got used. Now he is being awfully mean. He has picked up “pick up artist”/“the red pill” kind of stuff, like he is resorting to “negging” and “manspreading” to attract women, and his sole intention, as far as we can tell, is to get laid at all costs. I am at a loss at how to help him other than to keep him in my constant prayers.
Anyway, long story short, my younger sister, who is almost 22, still lives with him when she comes home from college (which he pays for). She has said that the home life is unbearable. My dad has become unpredictable, blowing up over the slightest thing. She says it is like an emotional lottery with him, because she just can’t win, anything she says can make him go off on her. Then he has taken to making crude comments towards her when his “lady friend” is over. He has her over to spend the night multiple times per week.
So, it’s just the summer, she goes back to school in August. Personally, as the well developed 28 year old I am, I would just stick it out. But she is younger, and is almost fully dependent on him still. He pays for her school and school housing, as well as her car, insurance, and gas. She is trying to focus on school and her degree requires a lot of commitment (sports medicine/athletic training).
So my husband and I have an extra bedroom/office, we have always told her she is welcome to stay with us if things get unbearable at home. She decided earlier this month she wanted to move in with us for the summer and we agreed we would take her in. She is getting a part time job and will help with the groceries and what-not. She helps tremendously around the house as well, just with doing the dishes or vacuuming, or mowing, or just whatever she can find to help. I am incredibly grateful to her. In fact, I think this may be an answer to my prayers as I told God I was overwhelmed and I needed help. I don’t feel so overwhelmed anymore and in fact I am off my anxiety medication since she has been helping out even occasionally I am much more on top of things.
Boy this has turned into a book, mostly I would just really appreciate prayers for her and my dad. She is struggling between wanting to have a relationship with him and wanting nothing to do with him. But also, some practical advice might be helpful! She is super helpful…but also she doesn’t seem to know how to live with other people, especially kids! She leaves things lying around the house like shoes and sweaty gym clothes (like she will take off her clothes near the washer, and just leave them there for the baby to chew on!)…things that if you were on your own or with adults would be annoying but no biggie. I’m just a little frustrating with picking up after her too. I guess I also need prayers for patience!
In the long run, it’s a couple months, 10 weeks at most. She will go to school and she plans (as it stands right now) to not move back home next summer, to get an apartment and a job, etc. But anyway, prayers and practical advice are needed, but especially prayers. I do think it’s just patience I need and maybe a pinch of experience she needs.
Anyway, long story short, my younger sister, who is almost 22, still lives with him when she comes home from college (which he pays for). She has said that the home life is unbearable. My dad has become unpredictable, blowing up over the slightest thing. She says it is like an emotional lottery with him, because she just can’t win, anything she says can make him go off on her. Then he has taken to making crude comments towards her when his “lady friend” is over. He has her over to spend the night multiple times per week.
So, it’s just the summer, she goes back to school in August. Personally, as the well developed 28 year old I am, I would just stick it out. But she is younger, and is almost fully dependent on him still. He pays for her school and school housing, as well as her car, insurance, and gas. She is trying to focus on school and her degree requires a lot of commitment (sports medicine/athletic training).
So my husband and I have an extra bedroom/office, we have always told her she is welcome to stay with us if things get unbearable at home. She decided earlier this month she wanted to move in with us for the summer and we agreed we would take her in. She is getting a part time job and will help with the groceries and what-not. She helps tremendously around the house as well, just with doing the dishes or vacuuming, or mowing, or just whatever she can find to help. I am incredibly grateful to her. In fact, I think this may be an answer to my prayers as I told God I was overwhelmed and I needed help. I don’t feel so overwhelmed anymore and in fact I am off my anxiety medication since she has been helping out even occasionally I am much more on top of things.
Boy this has turned into a book, mostly I would just really appreciate prayers for her and my dad. She is struggling between wanting to have a relationship with him and wanting nothing to do with him. But also, some practical advice might be helpful! She is super helpful…but also she doesn’t seem to know how to live with other people, especially kids! She leaves things lying around the house like shoes and sweaty gym clothes (like she will take off her clothes near the washer, and just leave them there for the baby to chew on!)…things that if you were on your own or with adults would be annoying but no biggie. I’m just a little frustrating with picking up after her too. I guess I also need prayers for patience!
In the long run, it’s a couple months, 10 weeks at most. She will go to school and she plans (as it stands right now) to not move back home next summer, to get an apartment and a job, etc. But anyway, prayers and practical advice are needed, but especially prayers. I do think it’s just patience I need and maybe a pinch of experience she needs.
Having your sister stay with you will be a blessing for you and for her. Focus on the blessings that will come from this temporary living arrangement.
