Prayers ... and Guidance

[MrMegaphin191]

Hey Everybody … first time post.

I’ve come on here today asking for some serious prayers and guidance (if anyone has any!) This is probably going to be a really long post … thanks in advance to anyone who reads, listens and is praying for us.

Long story short … I have some serious issues with my dad.

My parents are both Baptists (I am a converted Roman Catholic), my mom was a very faithful Christian, my dad Christian from family tradition. My mom passed away from breast cancer in 2010 - and my dad has since made a lot of horrible decisions, especially towards his kids. I believe he has bipolar, yet am not able to tell him that.

He has threatened to arrest me for no reason, he is isolating my younger sister who still lives with him from us, he plots and schemes behind my back, has threatened to kick me out of the family for standing up to his girlfriend who was advocating family beds, nudist societies, sleeping around to figure out who you are compatible with in marriage, and giving my sisters masturbation mirrors to find their “good spots”! I did so in the nicest way possible - firm, but polite. He has been letting this destructive behaviours abound. I have tried talking to him, following what Our Lord told us in Matthew 18, but it has all been to no avail, he gets psychotically angry, and feel that his girlfriend and her daughter are his new family … excluding his actual children. This has been very very hurtful. I have been the one to go back and fix things, forgive him, after he has been explosive, and he doesn’t apologize, move forward, try to do anything better. I do not say this to be dramatic … he will do whatever he can to make sure I am not happy.

I am also getting married in October. My fiance and I have talked at great length about what to do. Her parents (paying for the entire wedding) do not want my dad to come, but I have said that he is going to. My future father-in-law and brother-in-law have offered to deal with him should any issues arise. We are very worried that something will happen. Every single thing he has been involved in, he twists and turns to make it into his way, which is very frustrating.

However, because of his actions, he are putting our foot down seriously - we are writing him a letter explaining everything, because if you talk to him, he just explodes, and makes accusations, threats, talks down about my deceased mother who I was really close with, etc. We are telling him that because of circumstances, we are not giving him a date to the wedding, and that as he has threatened to arrest me, etc, we are also not giving him a speech. We have also had to outline that we will be making very, very clear boundaries with our children - we absolutely cannot allow our children to be around someone this destructive, especially when he likes to play people against each other - he’s done this with my siblings, he tried to do this with my fiance, my mom’s extended family etc.

I would appreciate your prayers on this matter, and guidance if you have any. I’ve been flooding Heaven with prayers, asking for help, intercessions, prayers and guidance.

Thanks so much,

MrMegaphin191

 

[Phaedra777]

It seems to me that if you allow your father at the wedding, you and everyone else will spend the entire time holding your collective breath just waiting for your father to do something horrendous–which it seems is very likely. Why would you think this is an option?

Frankly, I’m more than a little concerned about the fact that your younger sister and the girlfriend’s daughter are “isolated” with what appear to be two perverts.

 

[oscarsmom]

Heavenly Father, we lift up this situation to You and ask that You provide wisdom and guidance to all involved. Bring Your peace to keep the hearts and minds of your precious children, according to Your perfect will. In Christ’s name we pray - Amen

 

[cheezey]

Heavenly Father, we lift up this situation to You and ask that You provide wisdom and guidance to all involved. Bring Your peace to keep the hearts and minds of your precious children, according to Your perfect will. In Christ’s name we pray - Amen

Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Your Name
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the Kingdom
and the Power
and the Glory for ever and ever.
Amen.

Ave Maria, gratia plena,
Dominus tecum,
benedicta tu in mulieribus,
et benedictus fructus ventris tui Iesus.
Sancta Maria mater Dei,
ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae.
Amen

 

[cheezey]

Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Your Name
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the Kingdom
and the Power
and the Glory for ever and ever.
Amen.

Ave Maria, gratia plena,
Dominus tecum,
benedicta tu in mulieribus,
et benedictus fructus ventris tui Iesus.
Sancta Maria mater Dei,
ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae.
Amen

 

[lisagruen1969]

I am lifting you up in my prayers and asking God to protect your heart from the attacks of Satan. I had a similar situation several years ago when my husband was united with his birth mother (he was in his late 30’s), but after meeting her and spending time with her, discovering that she must be mentally ill (claiming to have a PhD, threatening to kill her other children if they try to contact their birth father, etc). She sounds normal when you begin a conversation, but within about 10 minutes you just are confused by her words, as they make less and less sense. Apparently she has issues with explosive anger, according to her other children, which caused 2 of them to move across the country and rebuild their lives away from her. We finally (after about 4 months) wrote her a letter telling her we were very sorry, but we felt that in order to protect our hearts and our children, we were terminating contact. This caused an uproar that probably was heard up and down the West Coast! What I’m trying to relay is this: that you have healthy boundaries that you keep to maintain a safe and sound world, and toxic or hazardous people, whether immediate family or the neighbor next door, should not be allowed to penetrate unless they can respect healthy boundaries. You’d keep out the stranger or extended relative who is known to be mentally ill or aggressively dangerous, and it should be for your father as well. God understands your grief and fear, and i encourage you to pray for His grace to handle interactions with your father, and strength to maintain your boundaries. Your new husband sounds like a gem! Defer to his authority and let him begin to practice his role as the Head of your marriage. Blessings to you and yours~