Prayers for a Failing Marriage

[lost_person]

My Wife wants us to Seperate because we have a Communication problem. This, although Extemely IMPORTANT, is our only problem. No Drugs,Gambling, Infidelity,Domestic Violence,etc. I got Married because I wanted a Mate for Life. We met 14yrs ago, had a brief relationship and were apart for 12yrs. During that time I realized that I had Lost the One True Love of my Life. I missed her for all those years and as the years past I sank further and further into Depression and Drinking. Just as I had reached the point of not caring what happened to me I was in a store and there she was. I began a relationship with her and 3 months later we were married. After the Marriage she began to have second thoughts and began feeling that I had rushed her into a Marriage which did not include a Wedding (Civil Ceremony). I also made some promises to her which were more than I could deliver. This has caused a loss of trust and other problems. I accept the responsibility for all of this and wish she could understand I did none of it purposely. I just Love her so much and want to give her the world to the point of being unrealistic.We also have a problem because I have done some things which make her feel that I do not listen to her. These too were not done on purpose and, whether she knows it or not, this is a problem we both share. Probably from living alone for so many years.
Is there hope, through God, to save our Marriage? I keep Praying and know that my intentions are True. I have even told her that if she wants to seperate that she can have our Home. We are older people (50s and 40s) and I already know what my Life is like without her. The seperation,although we are still in the same house, is unbearable. I have lost my appetite and concentration. I wake each day Praying that she will give our Marriage another chance. I know I am a Sinner and that my Prayers may not be answered. But, I am reaching the end of my rope and am beginning to feel despair and depression and I need God’s help. Any Prayers or suggestions would be appreciated.
I know that only God knows if I am worth Saving. I just keep Praying for his Mercy.

 

[Elizabeth_Henni]

Jesus is one of three Persons who are One.
God the Father
God the Son
God the Holy Spirit.
They are called the Holy Trinity-- one God forever and ever.
They are all One and all equal to each other.

God is calling you to have a relationship with Him.
You must put your relationship to God FIRST – secondary even to your wife.
Your wife must do the same.

Go to Confession ASAP. (If you forgot how, just show up and ask the priest to help you.)
Receive Holy Communion Daily
Pray the Rosary Daily (Catholic Answers has a powerful Rosary Group)
Read a Scripture passage Daily

Both of you go each to both individual AND marital counseling.

1. Love God Above All Else. (Pray that GOD’s Will be done, then accept what that is.)
2. Love Your Neighbor as Yourself.
3. Love Yourself As God Loves You.

May the Peace of Our Lord, Jesus Christ, be with you and your wife, now and forever.
Sincerely,
Elizabeth

 

[Jesus_123]

:

Jesus is one of three Persons who are One.
God the Father
God the Son
God the Holy Spirit.
They are called the Holy Trinity-- one God forever and ever.
They are all One and all equal to each other.

God is calling you to have a relationship with Him.

You must put your relationship to
GOD FIRST

• secondary even to your wife.
  Your wife must do the same.

Go to Confession ASAP. (If you forgot how, just show up and ask the priest to help you.)
Receive Holy Communion Daily
Pray the Rosary Daily (Catholic Answers has a powerful Rosary Group)
Read a Scripture passage Daily

Both of you go each to both individual AND marital counseling.

1. Love God Above All Else. (Pray that GOD’s Will be done, then accept what that is.)
2. Love Your Neighbor as Yourself.
3. Love Yourself As God Loves You.

May the Peace of Our Lord, Jesus Christ, be with you and your wife, now and forever.
Sincerely,
Elizabeth

**Very, very wise and good advice, Elizabeth . . . **(I highlighted the GOD FIRST section above) . . .

For around twenty years or so the Lord blessed my life with the opportunity to serve him as a church secretary . . . and one of the churches I had an opportunity to work in had a large . . . very vital and active . . . Christ centered . . . wedding/marriage ministry . . . and I worked as the senior pastor’s confidential secretary and the wedding secretary for the church . . . sometimes we held as many as eight weddings per weekend . . . It was required that all couples . . . no matter what the ages - and we had all ages even up into retirement who were married there . . . go through premarital counseling with a member of our pastoral staff . . . and they used the Taylor Johnson Temperament Analysis testing (T-JTA) . . . which each couple utilized . . . I used to prepare the couples by sharing that it was very much like taking a picture/photograph of the “inner person” rather than the “outer person” which their wedding photographer would be taking at their wedding . . . and then the couples received **Christ centered **counseling and personal couples counseling sessions . . . in preparation for their marriages . . .

I can highly recommend this approach for marital counseling . . . or a similar one with a similar type of couples testing . . . as a very credible option . . . Our couples actually found the T-JTA testing marvelously interesting and rather entertaining once they got into it . . . and the majority of the couples came back actually quite delighted . . . when they brought back the tests to me for scoring and charting . . . and they often shared that they had learned a lot about themselves as individuals and about their potential mates . . . as well as about their differences one from one another . . . the only qualification needed for the testing and counseling to be successful . . . was that each person had to be completely honest in answering the questions . . . By the sharing in the original post . . . it sounds like you both could greatly benefit from this type of practical . . . down to earth . . . counseling . . . in a Christian Catholic environment . . .

One of the quite wonderful side benefits from this type of pre-Cana/premarital preparation showed up . . . now and again . . . **down through the years **. . . when some of our couples ran into difficulties . . . and . . . confidently came back too us for more counseling . . . assured because of their premarital counseling . . . that we might really be able to help them . . . because we were so thorough in preparing them for marriage . . .

I highly recommend going to your priest . . . and if your church does not use this type of testing . . . to arrange . . . with the cooperation of your priest . . . for it to be done elsewhere . . . and then . . . after allowing the priest time to consider the results and view the charts . . . arranging for counseling sessions . . . with him or with another competent Catholic Christian counselor . . . it can open up understanding and communication in a marriage better than anything I’ve ever seen . . . with great many-times-over-proven excellent happy results . . .

Note: While the Daily Holy Communion Elizabeth recommended . . . may not be possible due to work . . . weekly **Holy Mass **is a must . . . and it is also a Catholic Holy Obligation . . . set by the Church as such . . . for the good heath of your soul . . . Also . . . with the type of counseling recommended above . . . individual counseling is incorporated into the T-JTA couples counseling program . . . thus keeping the expense and time constraints down to a minimum . . . and . . . Father Mitch Pacwa prays the wonderful blessing of the . . . Holy Rosary Prayer . . . each and every day . . . early morning on the EWTN cable television channel . . . with people all over the world joining him before the day’s work begins . . .

*In dedication to the Triumph of the Immaculate Heart . . . God bless . . . *

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God,
and his righteousness;
and all these things shall be added unto you."
Matthew 6:33
:bible1:

. . . all for Jesus+
. . . Holy Mother Mary+
. . . please bless and pray for this couple+
. . . Holy Angels of God protect and help+
. . . thank You Lord+​

 

[Elizabeth_Henni]

:**Very, very wise and good advice, Elizabeth . . . **(I highlighted the GOD FIRST section above) . . .

For around twenty years or so the Lord blessed my life with the opportunity to serve him as a church secretary . . . and one of the churches I had an opportunity to work in had a large . . . very vital and active . . . Christ centered . . . wedding/marriage ministry . . . and I worked as the senior pastor’s confidential secretary and the wedding secretary for the church . . . sometimes we held as many as eight weddings per weekend . . . It was required that all couples . . . no matter what the ages - and we had all ages even up into retirement who were married there . . . go through premarital counseling with a member of our pastoral staff . . . and they used the Taylor Johnson Temperament Analysis testing (T-JTA) . . . which each couple utilized . . . I used to prepare the couples by sharing that it was very much like taking a picture/photograph of the “inner person” rather than the “outer person” which their wedding photographer would be taking at their wedding . . . and then the couples received **Christ centered **counseling and personal couples counseling sessions . . . in preparation for their marriages . . .

I can highly recommend this approach for marital counseling . . . or a similar one with a similar type of couples testing . . . as a very credible option . . . Our couples actually found the T-JTA testing marvelously interesting and rather entertaining once they got into it . . . and the majority of the couples came back actually quite delighted . . . when they brought back the tests to me for scoring and charting . . . and they often shared that they had learned a lot about themselves as individuals and about their potential mates . . . as well as about their differences one from one another . . . the only qualification needed for the testing and counseling to be successful . . . was that each person had to be completely honest in answering the questions . . . By the sharing in the original post . . . it sounds like you both could greatly benefit from this type of practical . . . down to earth . . . counseling . . . in a Christian Catholic environment . . .

One of the quite wonderful side benefits from this type of pre-Cana/premarital preparation showed up . . . now and again . . . **down through the years **. . . when some of our couples ran into difficulties . . . and . . . confidently came back too us for more counseling . . . assured because of their premarital counseling . . . that we might really be able to help them . . . because we were so thorough in preparing them for marriage . . .

I highly recommend going to your priest . . . and if your church does not use this type of testing . . . to arrange . . . with the cooperation of your priest . . . for it to be done elsewhere . . . and then . . . after allowing the priest time to consider the results and view the charts . . . arranging for counseling sessions . . . with him or with another competent Catholic Christian counselor . . . it can open up understanding and communication in a marriage better than anything I’ve ever seen . . . with great many-times-over-proven excellent happy results . . .

Note: While the Daily Holy Communion Elizabeth recommended . . . may not be possible due to work . . . weekly **Holy Mass **is a must . . . and it is also a Catholic Holy Obligation . . . set by the Church as such . . . for the good heath of your soul . . . Also . . . with the type of counseling recommended above . . . individual counseling is incorporated into the T-JTA couples counseling program . . . thus keeping the expense and time constraints down to a minimum . . . and . . . Father Mitch Pacwa prays the wonderful blessing of the . . . Holy Rosary Prayer . . . each and every day . . . early morning on the EWTN cable television channel . . . with people all over the world joining him before the day’s work begins . . .

*In dedication to the Triumph of the Immaculate Heart . . . God bless . . . *

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God,
and his righteousness;
and all these things shall be added unto you."
Matthew 6:33
:bible1:

. . . all for Jesus+
. . . Holy Mother Mary+
. . . please bless and pray for this couple+
. . . Holy Angels of God protect and help+
. . . thank You Lord+​

Thank you Jesus_123!
Just one note, however:

First comes daily mass, Holy Communion and Rosary.
Second comes taking care of you.
Third comes taking care of your spouse.
Fourth comes taking care of your children.
Fifth comes taking care of your employer.
To have the best, you must do the best…and YOU deserve the BEST!

Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth

 

[vybzngh]

One of things that may alos help is intense prayer for your wife. One site that can help
is

e5men.org/

Here are some testimonies from the site about troubled marriages.

e5men.org/testimonials_4.cfm

e5men.org/testimonials_7.cfm

You can also PM me to put your name in the special intentions list of my group that prays sepcifically for men.

God’s blessing and love be with you at this time.

 

[sinnegam]

Hello “lost person” - I feel for you,I speak as one whose marriage collapsed nearly 7 months ago…one of my wife’s reasons was that I put God before her and my reply that I put God before ME didn’t cut with her at all…the pain is still there but much more bearable now …after the break-up I was totally devastated and experienced emotions that I didn’t think possible for a human to have…it was scary stuff. Somewhere I stumbled upon a Divine Mercy booklet and it “grabbed” me immediately and in desperation started to recite The Chaplet and the Conversion Prayer…slowly but surely (over a couple of weeks) I began to accept what had happened to me and began to carry my cross. Now I have fallen a few times and continue to do so!..but I get up again and take the weight of that cross …strangely each time I fall and get up I am becoming more willing to take the weight…succumbing to God’s will and learning that when I put total and unquestioning trust (and contrite heart) in His Divine Mercy that sooner or later His Will is going to be revealed to me. …in your current frame of mind my friend what I have written may be of little comfort to you but I am one of the people who knows exactly what you are living through right now and it’s a lonely path you walk…a dark dark period…but I promise you you are not abandoned…He is right there beside you inviting you to take up that cross…
please look at the cross and consider the journey that lies ahead…I will help you my friend each night in my own prayers to help lighten the load…JESUS I TRUST IN YOU.