My discernment has actually been pointed down a different path in the last few months. I am beginning to see that since I have a mental illness (and will probably have it the rest of my life), there are no religious orders that will accept someone like me. I’ve gotten constant replies to emails saying:
“We’re sorry, but we cannot allow someone with your past in our congregation.”
While this stung in the past (and sometimes still does), I am coming to the realization that God is not calling me to religious life. In a way, I am kind of relieved to have that answer because I have been looking for a community for a LONG time and haven’t found one and now I feel at peace because it’s not meant to be. It’s something I never would have expected to feel, but I do.
I’m still looking at Third Orders and Lay Communities and I have hope that I can still practice my spirituality while remaining in the world.
Thank you all for your prayers. You have been most generous!
DaughterofMary6- I probably would be hurt, upset, and discouraged if a Religious order told me this.
I apologize for my ignorance but how do you truly know you have a mental illness?
I mean how is it that a person can go to a doctor, tell him/her how they feel and the doctor diagnoses them with a “mental illness”?

Sorry for being ignorant and harsh
There are probably a great deal of Holy men and women who
suffered from mental illness that entered Religious life, right? or perhaps I’m mistaken
Wherever the Lord is calling you…I will continue to Pray…
Thomas Merton’s Prayer for Discernment
O Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going,
I do not see the road ahead of me,
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
And that fact that I think
I am following Your will
Does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe
That the desire to please You
Does in fact please You.
And I hope I have that desire
In all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything
Apart from that desire to please You.
And I know that if I do this
You will lead me by the right road,
Though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore I will trust You always
Though I may seem to be lost
And in the shadow of death.
I will not fear,
For You are ever with me,
And You will never leave me
To make my journey alone.
by: Thomas Merton, Pax Christi, Benet Press, Erie, PA.
Code:
Prayer for Abandonment
Creator God,
I abandon myself into Your hands;
Do with me what You will.
Whatever You do may I thank You:
I am ready for all, I accept all.
Let only Your will be done in me,
And in all Your creatures.
I wish no more than this, O Lord.
Into Your hands I commend my soul:
I offer it to You with all the love of my heart,
For I love You, Lord, and I need to give myself to You,
To surrender myself into Your hands,
Without reserve and without boundless confidence,
For You are my God and my All. Amen.
by: Ven. Charles de Foucauld
[grdominicans.org/prayers%...vocations/828/](http://www.grdominicans.org/prayers%...vocations/828/)
Also asking St. John Marie Vianney to intercede as well. Amen